my bf and i decided to take a break for school a few days ago.. and earlier he just sat in my work for 2 and a 1/2 hours doing nothign to wait til i get off of work. we technically werent together. he told me there would be a good chance(of getting back together.) and i thoguth he meant it. cause he always means what he says.. but he said its over between us and he didnt want the relationship anymore. he told me he loved me and now hes going to try to stop loving me is that possible/./?? i just cant stop crying. no matter what anyone says i cant feel better.. since weve been on this break. before the break i mean we always talked on the phone b4 we went to sleep.. since weve been ont he break we havent been talkign to eachother at al and i keep having nightmares and restless sleep. i dont kown what to do with my self. i dont konwk how to get better.. we are both sophmores in college and were dating for over 2 years. we were eachothers first for everything... im just so depressed...
2007-01-28 19:24:29 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he was my only friend now i dont have anyone to spill my feelings to.. i just feel so alone and depressed...i wanted to marry him.. but he says its over... how do i get better? i dont have anyone to talk to about this. i jst feel liek dropping out of school. it feels liek the end of the world. i loved him so much i dont see how he could do this to us.. he keeps sayign hes sorry to me.
is it possible not to love someone especially a first love? that lasted for over 2 years?
(and no there isnt another woman involved...so please dont comment on that.) we decided to take a break cause we both work alot and have tough classes. so ter is alot of stress and tension.
2007-01-28 19:24:59 · update #1
i loved him so much and he loved me too. i just dont understand... im so hurt and broken.. i just feel liek falling asleep and never waking up again...
he wants to stop loving me.. i asked him if he loves me and he said while we were dating. but since were not anymore he wants to stop.. i told him its not possible especially since we were eachothers first love...
he said he wants to stop loving me. we were eachothers first love.. he said somehting baout needing to think abtout he relationship. but he wouldnt tell me what he meant =( i know hes having a hard time in school and stuff... but thats why we were takign the break.. now hes sayign ITS OVER.
2007-01-28 19:27:23 · update #2
he was my only friend. my best friend. my love...
2007-01-28 19:32:03 · update #3
HE ISNT WITH ANOTHER GIRL!!!! im positive he would have told me we had a very open and honest relationship. things just went soure between us last week cause he told me he wasnt happy anymore. cause of stress of school and he works over 40 hours a week too. and didnt hav time for me so i agreed tot ake a break.
2007-01-28 19:35:46 · update #4
Contact me and www.ggwo.org. They have very nifty booklets to deal with things. Tell their bookstore person A LITTLE about your situation and get a couple booklets and email me once you've looked them over. Do what I suggest. Get www.drgenescott.com on streaming video. Google Joel Osteen, and also John Piper. Get started. Left click on Jonathan W.
2007-02-05 19:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep cool. Even though it may seem to be the end of the world it is not. Feelings are really tough and can be even worse than physical pain. This is a phase, which can last long and maybe will not get much better, but it will get better over time.
If you are on a break then you should wait for him and please do not try to hook up with someone else, that would be the worse mistake. Not everything is lost, just have some patience show him that you are devoted and he will come back. It is just a matter of time and long nights without any stars or a moon, long unwanted diets. Too many tears and too little hopes.
As a final note, I want to tell you that you have known what love is and how it feels. You never know love until you are really hurt, then you know it was really love. That is something many never experiment.
2007-01-28 19:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by campanota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it feels like the world is going to end but it won't I promise. Its a hard one to comment on. You guys are so busy with work and school that a break would be good but usually 4 out of 5 realationships that do that don't get back together, its just an easy way to let the person go slowly. But girl don't drop school its so important no matter what, put all your hurt and pain into your school and other things, join some groups to make some friends to talk to try really hard t keep busy and it will get easier in a while I know I went through this I didn't literly get out of bed for three weeks and I moved home and slept with my mom the entire time but one day I got up and it was all clear and made scense and I moved on.
With my first love we were together for two years broke up for two to three and we went back out a few times again for months in between. It takes a few times to really break up if there are such strong feelings between each other, just lay low from him till you are stronger and then when you are not as hurt then talk it will help get some answers you will need closure for sure or you will always wonder WHY? But keep busy show him what he let go and like they say I you love someone let them go if they come back its meant to be.
2007-02-05 13:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't do so well under pressure. It may still exist in his heart, but the guy obviously has a lot on his plate and he sounds like the type of guy who is ambitious and responsible.
I think you may have become too focussed on planning for your future together and he just isn't ready for taking on more responsibility right now.
Sounds, too, as though he has feeling for you but is very conflicted about being in love and not being able to achieve his dreams.
I think he says he's going to try to get over loving you is how he sincerely feels. If he said he'd like to continue loving you and backed away from it, he's definitely in crisis.
Don't do anything for the moment. Tell him that you will always love him, but that you will agree to remain in the background for a while. If you're going to be adamant about remaining in the closeness of your relationship, you could very easily drive him away for good.
It's best if you apply yourself to your own life, becoming the most well-rounded woman you can become. If, down the line somewhere, this relationship is to bloom again, you'll be so glad that you can offer him a fully developed partner.
In the meantime, look deeply inside yourself and find things that you enjoy doing for yourself, pamper yourelf and get back into things. Lean on your friends for the time being; they've missed you. If depression rears its ugly head, get yourself into an exercise routine with your gal pals.
GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-04 18:09:12 · answer #4 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
breaking up with your first love is just like loosing someone and you are going threw the grieving process. You will get better I promise. The best thing you can do is try to make some girl friends. 2 years with a guy and no girfriends is not healthy. Throw yourself into school work, and maybe find a part time job if you can. Anything to make you think of something else.
2007-02-05 10:47:03 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can completely relate to the hurt of loving someone so much, them breaking it off, and you feeling like the hurt and lonliness will never go away. I am here to tell you that it does. It will take some time because you were together for so long, but your heart will feel better. I will honestly tell you it will not be a quick process, but while you are healing it is important to surround yourself with loving people. DO NOT isolate yourself, that is the worse thing you could do. It is ok to cry, it is ok to get angry. Let your emotions out, just don't let them control you. Laslty, do not let him play with your mind.(One day he wants to be with you, the nect he doesn't). Your healing process will take much longer. Will you ever stop loving him, probably not. He will always have a very special place in your heart, but eventually it won't hurt anymore. You are in my prayers.
2007-02-04 20:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't drop out of school. Now is the time to keep yourself occupied. The hardest thing is to get over someone you were so in love with me. Happened to me before I met my husband. The man I was seeing all of a sudden calls me and tells me its over, then proceeds to tell me that its not about me its about him. And I never, ever have seen him since that phone call. I just threw myself into my work, read books and exercised. A few months later I met the man of my dreams and we are married! Don't let this guy ruin you! Show him that you don't need him, he might even come crawling back to you, but DO NOT TAKE THIS LOSER B ACK under any circumstances. Just wait, you are young and will have your heart broken lots of times, that's just the way life is!
2007-02-04 16:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by Brown eyed girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor sweet child. No love can't just be turned off. I know your heart is aching, it won't forever. For now try to get a good nights sleep first. Take an over the counter sleep aid to help. Absolutely do not quit school, if you think you need a break, take one. Spend time with family. You'll get better just give it a little time. You may also want to talk out loud to God.Tell him everything you feel,he'll listen.
2007-02-02 08:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it depends on what he has put you through during you time together. I also beleive it also depends on what you allowed you and your family (kids) to go through to stay with this man. Grow a spine and decide what is best for you and your children They deserve to be happy as well as informed. Do not be selfish. This involves them as well. I was informed 3 days ago by my husband of 22 years that it just isnt working for him anymore. I have kept my children fully aware of everything for months. They are soe so supportive and so loving. I made a decision a long time ago to not hide anything from them. Kids are not dumb. They can be so strong if you will just let them in. You will be amazed at how strong you are if you remember you are a good lady and you are important! Sweetheart...YOU MATTER!
2007-02-05 17:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by catmom36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of us have survived decades after experiencing exactly what you're going through. I've read the other answers and recommend "clever", "shelly", "heavenly 2", Moe J", "#1 saints fan", and no name. My love and I were firsts, only, & everything college sweethearts who tried at different times to pull away, but always came back together, married at graduation, divorced 7 years later, very painfully for both of us. We still loved each other, but couldn't live together and keep our sanity. He haunted my heart for 25 years, though I met a man much more suitable to me when I was 28. Read very carefully what those other people said. College age is a time of change. Sometimes, we have to accept that our ideal of true love changes. I'm over him - going on 2 years now! Logic and emotion don't always communicate very well.
2007-02-05 15:21:49 · answer #10 · answered by Casperia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When someone walks out of our lives it's hard to move on, but you have no choice here. The longer you question "why" and "how" the longer the wound remains open.
You need to include others in your life, make some friends, find interesting things to do. It sounds like you made him your entire world, no wonder you hurt.
When a person is well balanced and whole they can accept hurtful losses. It takes time for everyone but you might want to consider that you hurt so much because you made him your everything.
When we count on one person to provide all of our companionship it hurts more when we lose them. Take heart honey, and know that when you begin to let others into your life you will begin to heal.
2007-01-28 19:37:30 · answer #11 · answered by Ande 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋