Emotional Problem?

Question

I'm a senior in high school and last year I came to the conclusion that much of it has been a failure because I didn't get to know people that well and I became determined that I would make up friends and make up lost time. I think the mistake I made was not making it a hope, but a quest, to the point where I have come to almost need confirmation that they like me to be happy. It has become obsessive. I was the happiest I have been yesterday because we were all together and everyone was happy, but the thing is, it had its downpoints. Like when people didn't say anything to me for like 10 minutes, (I have social anxiety disorder) I became depressed and all these negative thoughts came. Like "they're disgusted with me because I'm so shy" and I can't help them coming, as hard as I try, they take me over. I have these moments everyday. But I don't think I realized how miserable I was until I realized how happy I was yesterday. What can I do this is affecting me a lot

Also any pills I can take? because I think I need something

Answer 1

You don't have an emotional problem love.
You are a normal young person finding out who you are.
thirty percent of high schoolers get depressed or anxious.
peer approval seems very important to you now.
so look at this as a phase you are going through.

"People Pleasing "
which is were you are now.
is alright for a short time but it will lead to behaviour which will hurt you in the long run. Bad relationships, being used by others , not following your dreams and the list goes on.

a meditation class will teach you to get rid of the nasty thoughts and anxiety.
budhists have them for free.

http://www.ishaya.org/

You are perfect the way you are you don't need nor sometimes want the approval of the outside world.

the book the four agreements by ruiz is a neat book that helps explain things . He is an indian shaman .
it is a simple book .

send in another question three months from now and tell us how you feel .

Answer 2

Ughhh I ask this same question I hate when people go well you need to learn to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. No offence to anyone that says that because I know you’re just trying to help. But I mean it's not that easy. You can't be like oh damn I should start loving myself why didn’t I think of that. Oh and I should just be happy wow thank you. Haha like the human mind doesn’t work like that. Pills will help you with your confidence but they are not going to cure your sadness they just numb it. Some people say the only way to cure depression is love and sadly I think it’s really the only true answer. Whether it is love in a person or in what you do. So I guess just try to find things to be passionate about and that are worth your time. I hate the whole big crowd thing cause I’m a really funny smart guy but like when you put me in front of people. I become the lamest non existent person. I guess the only answer is to just be brave and make a fool out of yourself if you have to. But it’s so much harder to do then say.

Answer 3

I agree with beaver. People who try and feed you that "learn to love yourself, etc." happy-crap have never had a problem with real depression or anxiety. And they've probably never had a problem with shyness or feelings of not fitting in either. If you are not in therapy already, you probably should be. It often helps just to have someone to work things out with out loud. Not so sure about the pills. They never worked for me, and too many people get hooked on the idea of just taking a "magic pill" to try to "fix" things instead of working through the root of the problem. Look on the bright side: School sucks, and you are a senior, so this means that you are halfway through your last freakin' year of the whole mess. College will be much better, if you decide to go. In college, fitting in doesn't really matter because you really are supposed to be there to study. And in college you actually have a much better chance of meeting people that you will have more things in common with. Just hang in there. You will make it through.

Answer 4

Learn to love and honor yourself. First, you are your own best friend. You know yourself better than anyone else. You should love yourself. Accept yourself as you are, without judgment, warts and all. You are really perfect just as you are. If you can do this, if you can really learn to love and honor yourself, you will find that the opinions of others aren't really important. That doesn't mean you're free to ignore the opinions of others, just that you don't need their opinions to validate you as a human being. You validate yourself just by existing. So stand in your own shoes, in your own authenticity, your own integrity, and be proud of who you are. I think you're great. So do you. Be great.

Answer 5

well said man - I totally agree with you