I am extremely, very, very attracted to a prof of mine. I am 23 and at a small University. He is younger, and single. He is just OK looking, a little dorky, but I like his personality. I want to date, or AT LEAST have a sexual relationship. I am determined to do this, so how do I seduce him? I know that profs are not supposed to date students, but I can do this confidentially. How do I let him know it's ok and get a chance with him??? I don't even know how to get him alone and see if he's interested, he would probably be too professional about it, but it's just two adults, forget the stupid class. Serious responses only, please!!!
2007-01-28 18:45:18 · 5 answers · asked by 2000 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
I realize you are attracted to your professor, but he cannot sleep with you.
First, he would jeopardize his job. Yes, he could actually get fired. And rightly so.
You say "forget the stupid class," but its not just about the class. It's about his life, his ethics, and his position as a professor.
There are two main reasons that professors are strongly discouraged by their colleagues and employers from forming sexual relationships with their students. These reasons have to do with the position that professors hold as mentors, and as fiduciaries.
Mentors are sponsors, guides, exemplars, counselors, and evaluators of students. An intimate relationship between a professor and a student would cripple a professor's potential to act responsibly in each of these roles.
Professors are also fiduciaries. A fiduciary relationship is a relationship of trust, in which the fiduciary's most important job is to act always in the best interest of the student. Intimate relationships would irreparably compromise a professor's ability to act in this capacity. In other words, your professor's relationship with YOU would be forever changed to one different from the relationship he has with the rest of his students. And this is unfair to you. If you got an A in his class, would you think you earned it? How? What would your classmates think?
But even more importantly.......
Professors who enter into relationships with students (any student on the professor's campus) also compromise their ability to act in mentoring and fiduciary capacities with OTHER students.
Think about it. If you knew a professor was dating a friend of yours, what would you think about that professor? Would you go to her or him for counsel? for mentoring? Would you see him or her as an example to emulate? WOULD YOU TRUST HIM or HER?
Students often come to me and talk about extremely personal issues. What if I were sleeping with one of that student's friends? or classmates? What would that do to that student? Could she still come to me for advice and guidance? Honestly, she would be silly to do so. She would be wrong to trust me.
You are young, and full of hormones. But if you truly like this man, don't wreck his life. Please.
2007-01-28 19:08:53 · answer #1 · answered by X 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend it. There are very good and valid reasons for why professors are not allowed to date or engage in anything other than a student-teacher relationship. For instance say you do have a relationship with him and then after a while you decide you dont want to be with him anymore and he is angry and messes around with your tests or assignments or he leaves you and you can't concentrate or feel awkward or depressed and cant stand to be in his class or in some way it influences your studies. Think about the 'what-ifs' before making a move. This could be alright or it could turn ugly.
2007-01-28 18:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Jade22 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why not, but before you pounce... I would make sure he's not married. After the class, ask if you can have a moment with him... then tell him how you feel. If this makes you feel better, the "professor and student rule"... they don't normally listen to it. They just try to keep it from the "college public". Good luck!!
2007-01-28 18:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by S101908 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If he has any sense at all, he would make you drop your class with him if he dates you.
He could get in big trouble for appearing to trade grades for sex, even if you earned a good grade on your own.
But lots of professors boink the chicks in their classes.
2007-01-28 18:54:33 · answer #4 · answered by chimpus_incompetus 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
how many times you ask this??????????
2007-01-28 18:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by Punjabi Smarty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋