Am I overreacting?

Question

This question is a bit long so I apologize in advance if anyone gets confused. lol That being said...

Six months ago, I bought a record off eBay. The seller I won it from emailed me to let me know he had a few more items for sale and asked if I'd like to buy them. I jumped at the chance and was very pleased and the seller & I ended up striking up a friendship. Nothing personal, we mostly talked about a singer we both like and vaguely told each other about our lives. Nothing intimate or anything. After talking a bit, he told me he was going to unload some of his collection and proposed that we trade a few items. He lives in Australia, I live in the States. In exchange for some cds/records that he set aside for me, I would buy him movies & a few TV shows on dvd as alot of movies are released here before they are in Australia. He sent me a list of things he was after. Mostly older movies and a few cds that were released here. I saw no problem with the arrangement at the time.

We did our first trade a few months ago. Needless to say, I was less than pleased with the items I got. They were in fair condition. I sent him a few new brand new dvds in exchange for these thing. I mentioned this to him but he really didn't address it. A few weeks after the 1st trade, he sent me another list that was completely different from the first. It had mostly new or yet to be released dvds that would cost me $20 a pop (mind you, I'm getting USED items for him). Then before I could even go shopping, he starts getting a bit demanding. Asking me if I had bought this & that and wanting to know when we would trade again. This kinda put me off the whole idea. First because he changed all the items he was after and second being that he's being pretty demanding. Basically I'm losing more money and I'm not coming out ahead. I want to end the whole agreement. Is this fair to him? He keeps emailing me to chat and I just don't feel like dealing with him anymore.

So the million dollar question is, am I overracting here? Is it fair that he's trying to get things from me that are worth far more than I'm getting from him? I honestly don't feel like I should have to point out what he's doing and that I think it's wrong because I think he knows what he's doing. I did consider him to be a friend and I feel a bit betrayed. Would it just be easier to return the stuff I bought him back to the store and stop talking to him altogether? Like I said, I really don't feel like hearing him trying to apologize and reason his way out of this. I get the weird feeling this was his plan all along.

Answer 1

No you are not over reacting.

You are perfectly within your right to end this relationship. You have no binding contract that says you have to get what it is he's asking for. Tell him "the items I'm getting from you are worth xxx and the items I'm getting for you are worth xxx so i need the difference in cash or I'm only going to send you some of these items to keep it equal". You aren't wrong for saying it and there is no reason you should be out any money on this.

As far as wanting to quit the whole situation, again there is nothing wrong with it. It's not like a life long friend who's gone bananas, this is a man you've never met who less than a few months after talking starting giving you a bad feeling. If you don't want to deal with the issues of what i said above (demand equal trades) then cut your losses. You don't have to listen to him and his excuses. Tell him I'm sorry but i don't want to trade with you anymore. After that delete his e-mails and such. If he trys to guilt you because he had set the stuff aside then remember that he got his fair share of merchandise that was above what you received was worth. Call it an even trade and walk away.

As for the feelings of betrayal, I'm sorry to hear that and that you had to loose a friend. But better to stand up for yourself and walk away from an extremely uncomfortable situation than to get in to major financial debt or worse. Good luck!

Answer 2

nope... u r not overreacting. i think... the guy is just using u to have free dvds and cds. ask him to give back the dvds and cds because i know he wont give it back. dont talk to him if you feel that it is the right thing to do.