What is the need for some mothers to feel that being a mommy is a competition????

Question

Why do some mothers think being a mommy is such a competition. I personally find this appalling and think it shouldn't be happening ( although it does, sadly enough) I know someone who is in constant competition I mean putting her and her husband in debt to try to "out parent" me, thinking that being a good mommy is about the quality of things you buy for your son/daughter. This one girl I know, ( i stopped being friends with her a while ago) will only call me or message me over the internet to tell me what she bought her son and how much she spent like I really care. I have told her several times nicely that I don't care. I don't discuss my financial status with this girl or with anyone. But it seems that whatever I do she has to go a step up with it and insists on trying to run it in. This is so annoying to me and I find this type of parenting to be bad parenting, to me anyways. Her child is only 6 months old and she spent over a thousand dollars on her son for christmas......

I avoid this girl like the black plaque but somehow she always finds a way to find me and talk about how expensive of things she buys. ( like I care) They don't have the money to do this, her husband is always getting fired she doesn't work, they are on welfare and just keep racking up the credit card bills with this behavior she has taken on. I stopped talking to her thinking this would stop this foolish behavior of hers but as I said she still finds a way to try to outdo the things I do.
I can't stand this at all, I don't think that the quality of things you buy your child should matter rather than the quality of time you spend with your child. Am I wrong?? WHY DO SOME PARENTS FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE TO DRIVE THEMSELVES INTO DEBT TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BETTER PARENTS??

COLLEN O I AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT THE BEAUTY PAGEANTS, I HATE HOW SOME OF THOSE MOTHERS MAKE THEIR SMALL CHILDREN PARADE AROUND LIKE THEY ARE ADULTS. I THINK THAT CHILDREN SHOULD BE LEFT TO BE CHILDREN AND NOT DOLLS TO DO WITH AS THEY PLEASE.

KAT- YEAH THAT IS WHAT IT IS I AM JEALOUS OF THE FACT THAT THEY LIVE OFF OF WELFARE AND HAVE TO MOVE EVERY THREE MONTHS BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING EVICTED BECAUSE THEY CAN'T PAY THEIR RENT. MEANWHILE MY DH AND I CAN DO WHAT WE WANT AND IF WE WANT TO BUY SOMETHING WE CAN PAY CASH FOR IT AND HAVE NEVER HAD A NEGATIVE MARK ON OUR CREDIT REPORTS AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME, BUT I AM SO JEALOUS OF THIS GIRL I SPEAK OF LOL NO WAY IN HELL. THERE IS NO WAY I ENVY THEIR LIFESTYLE. I HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT THIS MANY OF TIMES AND IT HASN'T STOPPED AND I CAME ON HERE FOR ADVISE NOT TO BE WRONGLY JUDGED. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION THEN PLEASE DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Answer 1

They're insecure and only find their worth in what they can buy. They're actually really very sad people. Just feel sorry for them and move on. I knew a girl who was like what you're describing. She'd copy everything I did. If I bought my son something then she'd rush right out and buy it for her son. Then whenever she'd get something for her child she'd show it to me and then be all confused as to why I wasn't rushing out to get it for my child. I don't make my consumer choices based on what everyone else is doing. This girl, however, had to do what everyone else did. She was always trying to out do the rest of us. The thing was, no no one liked her. It was sad really. When I think about it I just laugh. We have money in the bank because we don't feel the need to keep up with the Jones'. And I don't compete with anyone for "mommy of the year" status. I do the best I can by my children. No matter what I'm the best mom for them. So, it doesn't matter how great so and so is as a mother. I'm still the best mom to my boys.

Answer 2

The thing is that it is not just parents that do this; brothers and sisters, neighbors, parents and children, kids I went to school with. A lot of people want to feel like they are better then a lot of or all other people. A bigger house or Christmas time when a bunch of houses in a row all have ridiculously elaborate decorations (I don't know, maybe that's just an American thing). How high are some of those electric bills?

Answer 3

Some mothers tend to see their children as reflections of themselves. They feel the need to push their children because THEY wanted things as kids and were either never allowed to go after them or simply never accomplished those goals for themselves. Like the mom's who compare their kids to everyone else's "My little Johnny was potty trained at a year old...I'm sorry your little Janey is almost three and not quite there yet". My reaction is wow you managed to teach your son how not to piss himself...how impressive. I think the worst for me though are the moms who put their kids in beauty pagaents. I'm sorry but to me there is just something TOTALLY WRONG about dressing your child up like a doll putting full stage makeup on her and then displaying her to judges and an audience. I can not imagine any child actually WANTING to do that...

Answer 4

in my opinion i might want to locate it a turn off. it would want to be like having 3 human beings contained in the relationship. maximum human beings love their kinfolk and want to spend time with them, yet there must be a time once you may share that love with some different person. A mothers and fathers love is diverse to that of a larger 1/2, and also you'll locate that once you locate the right man or woman. there is not any longer some thing incorrect with spending time consisting of your mum, yet will be attempt to imagine of going places to satisfy human beings. Be bullied once you've been youthful turned right into a foul component and that i'm sorry you had to go with the help of that, yet i'm effective its helped meld you into the guy you're, and made you more acceptable man or woman. Your older now, you do not ought to post with crap. mothers and fathers are strong for suggestion yet you do not ought to keep operating decrease back to them, or tell them each and every thing. that is why there is such such issues as privateness. strong success :o)

Answer 5

Seems like she needs attention. You know how some people were corny when they were younger and growing up so now they feel they have to go all out to make themselves feel like someone. She sounds like she is in need of special attention because being a mother is a privilege not a Olympics Track competition. You are doing right by ignoring her the best you can.

Answer 6

She needs validation,sounds like she doesn't have any friends,she feels the need to impress you,so you will talk to her, but what she doesn't realize is that, this whole thing is a turn off.
TELL HER.

Also,It will be funny when her baby grows out of the expensive clothes quickly!

Answer 7

The world is full of people who have misguided priorities, no sense of what makes a good parent, emotional insecurities, or even personality disorders - ignore them all.

Answer 8

Don't get mad but it sounds as if you do care because you are here telling us about it. It sound as if you are jealous. If i am wrong i am sorry. If you really don't care you would blow it off. Giving your child things does not make you a bad parent. I do not know what her story is but if it bugs you tell her and she will stop.

Answer 9

Jealousy. Don't let it bother you. Stop talking to her, block her messages and be the bigger person.