Isn't it exhausting to try to be / look perfect?

Question

I'm guilty of trying to make myself look flawless, with the" perfect " makeup," perfect "hairstyle, but sometimes, i just don't care.-

I'll go to the market in sweats, I'll drop off the dry cleaning without makeup.
But Living in southern California I see so many women who look flawless every single day- even the bagger girl at the market looks like had an entire makeup team do her up.

I wish I had the energy, but it's so exhausting! how do these women do it?

And that's the funny thing too-
I don't feel like I have to impress anyone,
But I feel obligated to do it. Almost, as if- I don't I'm being lazy,.
I don't wear makeup to make myself feel better, I wear it because I feel like If I don't- People Won't treat me as well..
you've been there it's 4pm on a weekday and you run into the riteaid for some medicine for your killer flu and the cashier looks at you like a leper. There have been times when I've been sick and I've actually thought " maybe the Doctor will be nicer If I have some makeup on."

Answer 1

I hate to go out with no make up on because if I do it is always the day I run in to an old friend, or boyfriend or someone who probably hasn't seen me with no makeup. What I do now is I do my makeup and then I put a cool hat on, this way i don't have to do my hair and i still look good. I know many people think that you don't need makeup to look good, but I have yet to meet someone who looks better with none on!!

Answer 2

I think that trying to look perfect is exhausting, because "perfect" it's impossible to reach. Reaching cute on the other hand is easy. I love wearing make up, because I love looking good, and because I enjoy being admired. Call me shallow if you like but it's the truth.
I guess it would be best if you didn't have so many high expectations from yourself. Besides perfect is boring. Maybe finding some style that suits you and makes you feel unique instead of trying to fit in and look like those other women might help change the way you look at the whole thing.

Answer 3

Wow I live in the OC and I am going through exactly what you are going through!! I try to make myself look perfect, everyday and it takes so much effort! Perfect skin and hair and makeup, it IS exhausting. Then I see all these gorgeous women that look like they should be movie stars!! It honestly is not fair. I also have my days where I just don't feel like getting all dolled up and I just wear sweats, tie my hair, and go to the supermarket without makeup.

Honestly, I think we need to learn not to compete and that beauty is on the inside but I guess that aint gonna happen soon! I just wish I knew their beauty secrets because it takes so much time and effort to look perfect!!

Answer 4

I think it's that way anywhere you go. I live in a rual, ranching community, and if I go to the grocery store or even the friggin FEED store without makeup and my hair done and my clothes nice, I'm pretty much ignored by the staff. I do it anyway, but it's so silly to think that if I want to be treated nicely when buying a ton of feed, as opposed to whaddyaneed heresyerchange, I have to style my hair and put on makeup. A man, on the other hand, can go in there reeking to high heaven of cow crap and BO, and they kiss his butt. Then I see some rancher's wife pop up with every freakin hair in place, perfect makeup, and dressed to kill and I think, WTF?? How is that even possible??

Answer 5

Who cares why they do it? I think it's one of the more depressing things about our lives, the constant need for approval on things as shallow as physical appearances. Granted, taking care of yourself is important, but to feel so set upon that you need to deck it out every day is a terrible way to have to live.

I don't wish that energy on you. I mean, what then? It would just lead to the next thing you just have to do better and then the next after that. Take stock in something that matters. Compassion matters, and none of us are saying we wish we had the energy of a volunteer at the homeless shelter.

Answer 6

wow... i could've written this question exactly as you did. i know how you feel! i'm weird with makeup. sometimes i want to wear it, look polished and pretty and "perfect," but other days, i feel "fake" trying to paint on a face (even though i barely wear any to begin with!!).

on the makeup days, i do it b/c it feels good, just something a little special i can do to dress myself up almost. it makes me feel a little pampered, sexy, confident, i guess luxurious?

on the down days, i genuinely don't want to be anything other than my natural self. on those days i feel cleaner, purer, more "me" without makeup, and would feel totally wrong with it on. i feel great! and it's funny, a lot of the times, on those days i feel like my real personality shines thorough more. like i'm not depending on anything other than what i've got inside to make my way in the world, so i'm gonna be all that i can be. (lol, i sound like an army ad.)

i live in northern cali, but i've visited your area quite a lot, and i don't know how those women do it either! i think somehow it must take a little of your soul to be "on" ALL the time.

ah well. to each her own, i guess. =) i just like to listen to my body, my moods... and not *depend* on anything to be able to leave my house. i love that i'm ok with myself either way.


EDIT:
ok, after i posted, you had some additional notes:
"I don't wear makeup to make myself feel better, I wear it because I feel like If I don't- People Won't treat me as well..... There have been times when I've been sick and I've actually thought " maybe the Doctor will be nicer If I have some makeup on."

OMG this exact thing happened to me last week!! i was at the doctor's and i'd been in the waiting room for a while, when i had that very thought : that he'd be more respectful/take me seriously/be nicer if i looked polished and "smoother." so i went to the bathroom and totally let down my hair, put on some powder, mascara, and a teeny bit of lipstick!

argghhh... i do think there is truth to it. it really sucks. and what sucks even more is that men aren't judged/treated in quite the same way for their looks. i mean, of course, *everyone* is judged/treated to SOME degree due to appearances; that's just human nature... but feeling pressured to look flawless and put beautiful and "hot" is something that weighs a lot more on women. that's something i've learned in recent years, and it's depressing.

just makes me feel that much better about that fact that i know i *can* feel beautiful without it... cuz how you feel about yourself is a compilation of so many things. including, but definitely not limited to makeup! (though i'm sure that's much easier for a northern cali resident to say.) :p

Answer 7

Its not that we dont want to look good but even without makeups we are beautiful. I look myself inthe mirror and i see beauty and i never wear makeups only a little cream, vaseline for my lips and im gone. Being a single mum, full time job and evening classes is more than i can handle.

Answer 8

I live in Bath a city in the south west of England. ts not a verypolished town, their are loads of chemists, you can buy make up everywhere here but not a lot people wear it. Many girls put on lipgloss and eyeliner/mascara and their ready. If you cant be bother just put a bit of lip balm on. I love Chapstick, they come in lovely flavours so as well as moisturising your lips you look good aswell!

Answer 9

OK so i live in Australia but i promise we have the same prob in my area.
Here are my tips.
1. Tint your eye lashes dark brwn/black
2. Have your eyebrows tinted and waxed regular basis.
3. Keep nails senseable length and have regular manicures. Sames goes 4 toes. You can do it @ home. Even if you just put very light natural pink.
4.Wear tinted moist. and light bronzer (I have brands if you need for info.)
If you do those girly things you will be able to duck out at anytime and look naturally beautiful.

hope that helps

Answer 10

wow. a lot of women feel the same way as me. as women, we all wonder the same thing, espeically we have a full time job to pay our bills.

i used to live in NYC, where are so much gorgeous model and beauitful people all over the world. peopel are so willing to spend much money to make them look good, and they also will pay a big box to do the little detail, such as nail, and all things. it is dificult not to put make-up eveyrday.

i feel more stress in my home town, Hong Kong, where is average size is size 000 - size 0. if i don't wear make-up, i wear the big sunglass which can cover most of my faces.

when you live in competition world, it is beauitful outside, and feel tired inside. i guess, it can happen to everyone.