My 3 week baby wants to be beside me or held 24-7 HELP!!?

Question

She sleeps with me at night, nurses & sleeps...she will stay content dozing and nursing every 3 -4 hrs as long as Im beside her.. If I get out of the bed she wakes up and cries.
During the day its worse..she MUST be held. Cries even in the swing.

She seems to nurse for comfort...doesnt really drink...just likes to be 'latched on'...after a few minutes she usualy dozes off......but if I put her down to go eat, bath, wash dishes..anything SHE CRIES.....I pick her up she stops crying....after a little while she starts grunting and looking for the breast..I try to nurse her again...she falls asleep...and we start all over again...ect ect ect

Help..she used to take a soother...no more...she used to like the swing..no more..HELP I have no family or friends and am all alone...I cant hold her all the time...and I think shes too young to let cry it out

Any suggestions?...Im even considering putting her on the bottle because this 'nursing on demand' thing is getting out of hand

Well of course she HAS a crib, but she cries if shes in it after a few minutes...she seems to want human contact

For your judgemental people who think Im an idiot who had unrealistic expectations....THIS IS MY THIRD BABY..so Im not dumb or inexperienced...this is a clingy baby!!!!

Answer 1

Let it sleep alone and ignore it
Babies never died from crying

Answer 2

There is a lovely device called a Baby Bjorn. It's a way to keep your baby close but free up your hand so you can eat, check your email, get dishes done. I wore my son on my chest for everything, even going to the bathroom, because he howled everytime I put him down. It only lasted a few weeks, then he got better about it.

Be sure you are swaddling the heck out of this baby, too. She sounds like she might benefit from being swaddled, my son loved it and would smile so big when he was wrapped up nice & snug.

Nursing on demand is over rated. In order to save my sanity I pumped my milk, stored it in the fridge/ freezer and fed him 2 to 3 oz everytime he was hungry. My son fell asleep every single time he should have been eating and it was dreadful. He never ate enough and he was always hungry since he never ate enough to get full!!

There's nothing wrong with you choosing to give your child formula either. Don't let anyone give you any sh*t about it. You are doing the best you can and anyone that gives you grief is an idiot.

Find someone, anyone to come over and watch her so you can at least take a shower and eat a sandwich. I was all alone with my first and it was dreadful.

The soother; I had to try several different brands before my son found one he liked. Buy a few more and see if one of them suits her.

This thing will change your life my dear. Here's the baby bjorn so you can see what it looks like:

http://www.babybjorn.com/TemplatesWeb/ProductDetails.asp?itemid=3265

Take care.

Answer 3

Poor babies. Ok. She is crying because she is used to being all warm and cuddly in your belly. She is comforted by your scent and your heart beat. She knows that if she is nursing that you are there and you will hold her. I am not encouraging to stop breastfeeding but I would hold her and try a bottle. This will tell you how much she is eating (maybe you are not producing enough)

Ok so make sure she is warm and bundled up, it is cold. Make sure she has one of your used shirts close to her, so she can smell you. THEN..... try and find somewhere a recording of a heartbeat, then play it just loud enough for her to hear it. Make sure she is also fed really well......

As for you, you are frusterated. probably not getting enough sleep. Just try to be patient. These little guys go through so much during birth and the months following, you just have to be sympathetic and very patient.

If you try everything that everyone suggests and she still will not stop crying.... I am sorry to tell you that you will just have to hold her. If you let her cry it out...... It may be worse on you than holding her. See if you can have a friend or family member come and help you out.
Best of luck!

Answer 4

There is a great book called The Happiest Baby on the Block that gives a lot of solutions for crying babies that don't involve crying it out. Swadling the baby securely in a blanket, using a baby carrier or sling so she can stay close to you but your hands are free, the use of white noise to calm the baby (counterintuitive I know, but it helped us!) are some of the suggestions on offer. That said, newborns do need to nurse a lot. They have tiny tummies that can only hold a few ounces, so they get hungry again fast. As she grows older she will become more independent and feed less frequently. This clinginess is part of the bonding period of newborn parenting. You'll get through it.

Answer 5

Ok I understand where you are coming from totaly since my son was the same way. I too let him sleep in bed with me and even now if he doesn't sleep well he comes to bed with me and his dad. Try getting a baby sling that will keep her close to your body but leave your hands free to do work. The reason she is wanting to be held is probley the body heat and the heart beat sound remember she has been inside your belly all nice and warm and comfy. IT will pass I promise also maybe talk to a naghor and see if they can help a little I know it has to be hard being alone like that. Also you need some time to yourself so as hard as it maybe put her in the swing and let her cry 5 mins no more she will learn that you do come back and that will help as well but it is ok to hold her all she wants really you will not spoil her no matter what anyone says also babies need the comfort of mommy at this young age and also try not to stress over it the time will pass so fast that you will wish you had held her more once she is walking and wanting to explor.

Answer 6

I'd say just let her cry I know it seems mean but really its not. I have a 8 month old great nephew who is just like that and its because they spoil him to much and hold him whenever he wants to be held. Sometimes you just half to let them cry a little and once they relize your not going to pick them up all the time they get use to that and are fine. Also try a baby swing maybe the movment from a baby swing will make her think you are holding her when your not. But if all this continues see her doctor because maybe something could be wrong colic or something. Good luck

Answer 7

My first child, now three years old, was like this. He really acted like he needed another few weeks in the womb! Please don't put her on the bottle yet!

I agree with the previous poster who mentioned "The Happiest Baby on the Block." by Dr. Harvey Karp. This book saved my life. The author, a pediatrician, has tons of tips on how to soothe a fussy baby. He developed the "Five S's" system:

* Swaddling - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.

* Side/stomach position - You place your baby, while holding her, either on her left side to assist in digestion, or on her stomach to provide reassuring support. Once your baby is happily asleep, you can safely put her in her crib, on her back.

* Shushing Sounds - These sounds imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb. This white noise can be in the form of a vacuum cleaner, a hair dryer, a fan and so on. The good news is that you can easily save the motors on your household appliances and get a white noise CD which can be played over and over again with no worries.

* Swinging - Newborns are used to the swinging motions that were present when they were still in Mom's womb. Every step mom took, every movement caused a swinging motion for your baby. After your baby is born, this calming motion, which was so comforting and familiar, is abrubtly taken away. Your baby misses the motion and has a difficult time getting used to it not being there. "It's disorienting and unnatural," says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.

* Sucking - "Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system," notes Karp, "and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain." This "S" can be accomplished with bottle, breast, pacifier or even a finger.

SERIOUSLY, I cried the first time I tried this system. My son just SETTLED down, like magic. Please check out this book, or Google it. This doctor and his advise are all over the web!

PS: I really would AVOID the "On Becoming Babywise" book. The author's system of schedules and discipline does not sound right for your needy baby at all.

Good luck!

Answer 8

My third was like this too. It was wierd because this child was just totally different to the others. I got a baby sling and carried her around with me and she would actually sleep for and hour or two in there (she wasn't /still isn't a good sleeper).
At least with her in there she would sleep and be happy and I could get somethings done.
I understand totally what your going through and Its frustrating in that you have things that need to get done and other children that need you.
I guess you need to find a solution that suits both you and the baby like a sling or a bouncer or something like that. I guess its just trial and error.
Also read Dr Harvey Karp's "happiest Baby on the Block" interesting book. May help. As to finding time to read, I read while sitting on the couch breastfeeding , which it felt like i was doing just about all day!
Good luck

Answer 9

PLEASE don't stop nursing her! Your baby needs you at this point in her life. My daughter was the same way and always wanted to be held. You know what? I just did it! She is not going to be little forever, so you should take advantage of this time while you can. I just learned to do a lot of things while I was holding her, or I would get help from my husband and my son (are your other children old enough to help?). Everyday will get better. She depends on you to be there for her - you are her lifeline. I know that this may seem overwhelming, but hang in there. My daughter is 2 now and she still likes to be held, but she also has her very independent times. Don't wish for your babies to grow up fast...their childhood will be gone before you know it!

Answer 10

try a passifier, I had the same problem with my daughter, sometimes you just need to let them cry. It excersies there lungs, lets them voice there opinon. Maybe she isnt getting enough food. Talk to your docter. Try laying her on the floor and just talking to her. She likes the sound of your voice, even if she cries just keep talking to her. She will learn soon enough that she feels safe with out mommy right there. Its a problem all new mommy's have. I had it, my husband told me to just let her cry for no more then 3 min. Most of the time she fell asleep after just a few seconds. Every new mom doesnt want to let there baby cry. try to place her pack and play or cradle next to your bed, I did that for the first few weeks, then when she got used to it i moved her to her crib in her own room. It was a nice transaction.

Answer 11

Does she get any bottles at all? If not maybe you could give her a tiny bit of warm water when you know she isn't hungry, as they say babies cry because of hunger, or to hot or to cold or ill- does she have normal BM's ?? Have you tried laying her on the floor of the room your in (on a blanket) and talking to her so she knows your in the same room- as long as she is awake you can put her on her tummy and maybe if she is gasy this will help push some of it out! But talk to her like she was an older child and see if she settles down- talk loudly (over her crying) but don't yell! Let her cry for 1 minute while you are talking to her and see if she settles down- how old r your other's?? Can they help you out at all?? You need to get SOMEONE to help you even if its a neighbor (someone you know very well & trust) or your going to drive yourself crazy!! Also as a last resort they make those baby carriers where you can strap her to your front and then walk around and be hands free- but I don't know how well this would work!! If you can talk to her for 1 minute while she is crying and she quiets down then expand it to two minutes and so on or sing to her or even play the some of your fave CD's-music soothes them alot!! Good Luck!