My subordinate and his wife are having serious issues. She is a friend of mine and keeps calling me for advice. I feel like I'm in the middle. He doesn't know that I know what's going on in there marriage. Tonight he put her out of there home and she has no place to go. I feel bad because she 1000s of miles away from her family. I feel bad for her but I work with him and I don't want to have a strained working relationship. What should I do?
2007-01-28 17:15:11 · 13 answers · asked by ShaSha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay out of it if you can! Trying to listen to her and give advice isn't going to put them back together, that's their decision! You don't want to be in the middle of the fall-out plus, you have to work with this man and you don't need any problems at your job. Let them work it out themselves and just let her know respectfully, you wish not to be in their business.
2007-01-28 17:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by saturn man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, staying out of it is apathy. Find a women's shelter that has a trained therapist. Do not play psychologist or marriage counsellor. Encourage her to take advantage of the services in your community that deal with spousal assault. Do not answer any questions about the subordinate... period. Seek advice from company human resource director about what your role should be with your subordinate. Do not offer your opinion on a matter that you are only hearing one side of the story. Because she said it, does not mean it is true. I learned that lesson having a schizophrenic relative (despite passion in stating things as fact, their reality is clearly not the reality of non-schizophrenics).
2007-01-29 01:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to shape up or his butt is FIRED! (Just kidding...)
Gosh, you are in a tough situation. I would hate to be in your shoes. Is there any way to get him under a different manager? Other than that, all I could suggest is asking your friend not to confide so many personal details - that it makes your job difficult as her husband's boss. She's your friend and that might devastate her, but you know... she really should know better than to be airing dirty laundry with her hubby's boss, friends or no friends.
Best of luck.... hope you can find a better answer than what I could come up with.
2007-01-29 01:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could help her find a place to stay, and tell her how you feel. and it also depends on why he put her out. if she has a drug or sickness problem, help her find help, everyone needs money coming in, and you cannot give up your job because she is having marital problems. tell her husband your situation also. but leave the problem to them is the best way. if you get involved with their problems, you will turn out to be the bad guy to one of them in the end. do for your self and what is best for you.
2007-01-29 01:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by bend lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think stay out of it, and explain why. If you have to see him everyday it isn't fair that you hear all his bad side. Surely she has other friends. She may start using you to get info on her ex, which is inevitable if she is hurt. I'd stay clear of it as much as possible.
2007-01-29 01:21:02 · answer #5 · answered by BrutalNerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that it's between her and him and that you don't want to get caught in the middle since you have to see and work with this guy everyday. You aren't out of line. She shouldn't keep calling you for advice. I think she's being selfish and trying to get to him through you. I'd be kind about it of course.
2007-01-29 01:19:09 · answer #6 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I agree your in the "Middle" of a tuff situation.
I would try and stay out of it since you do work with the one of them.
It's best to stay out of "their" marriage.
He finds out, and it just might get messy at work and you don't need or want that.
2007-01-29 01:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by iwish40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you're uncomfortable being in the middle; this puts your job at risk.
Offer her money to stay at a hotel; and help to locate a woman's shelter.
2007-01-29 01:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like a real loser...
Offer her a place to stay, but stay out of their problems.
Just tell them both you do not want to be in the middle.
They need to work out their problems together.
2007-01-29 01:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Suggest professional counselling for the both of them, but stay out of it.
2007-01-29 01:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋