My fiance and I don't think that marriage means settling down. We don't have financial stability or interest in buying a house or a car, we travel together and live all over the world in foreign countries, have no interest in having our own children, party on weekends when we feel like it either together or with friends and we're pretty flexible with our future except for one thing. We're commited to this relationship and eachother. We also realise that life is not all happiness pie and times can and will get rough, but that's what the commitment is for.
How many people have all the things they are supposed to before getting married and still end up in divorce? Marriage isn't about a house, a car, a morgage, children, a career and not partying. Marriage is about two people or wedding is about family so, what gives?
And why encourage someone who is young not to marry simply because they haven't got money or that they might want to travel? I see this all the time on yahoo answers.
2007-01-28 17:01:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Incase you're wondering. We're in our early/midtwenties and already live like a married couple. Our wedding is being planned.
2007-01-28 17:04:19 · update #1
"Setteling down"
is supposed to mean...you're out of the dating scene and commited to each other.
Which in this country means about as much as the paper it's printed on!
I think you two have a very healthy, realistic outlook on marriage, hey you might actually make it, and not become a divorce stat!
CONGRADULATIONS!!!
2007-01-28 17:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have all the things that you precieve as married couples are "suppose" to have and my marriage still ended in divorce.
No, marriage isn't about a house, a car, a mortgage, children, a career and not partying...but, they are a part of life and they are extremely benefical in many situations.
Marriage is about the commitment of two people to be one while continuing to be 2 people...not just about two people. You are dependent on each other (not co-dependent) for a variety of reasons...as life will explain as it unfolds. Yes, it does include family (to the extent that the couple wants to include them), since it is an incredible support system...especailly when or if you do have children. If you don't want children (which brings on the responsibility of career/job/housing/insurance/less time to party because you really shouldn't be stoned or drunk when you are caring for children) then get yourself fixed, now. Or, always protect yourselves.
I have never seen people discourage young couples from marrying just because they might want to travel. For the reason of having no money...I understand. Money means living in an apartment (or house--I happen to enjoy my house) or having the ability to live in a place with a consistent hot shower, a sink, a stove, laundry, gas, car repairs, gifts, entertainment, medical bills, food, etc. But, don't take my word for it...wait a couple of years. Have fun, seriously!
2007-01-28 17:18:18 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a lifetime journey of commitment to one another. People call it "Settling down" because it's what it implies. They leave the old partying ways behind work on a solid future together. No, it's not about bills and children but it's part of it.
Look, it's different strokes for different folks. Some people are happy being "settled" whilst free spirits like yourself prefer the hippy way...whatever tickles your fancy...
BUT having said that....this is how you feel now, I guarantee with time that you won't feel this way, 5-10 years down the line...you say that you have no financial stability...so did you ever wonder about how you're gonna take care of him if something every happened to one of you? Ie, medical bills?
2007-01-28 17:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably because they see being committed to one person as being settled and boring. It is just ignorance to think like that. Maybe they have not experienced real love. We traveled around even after we had three young children and we and they loved it, we never had a house or fixed abode for quite some time. It is in peoples head to think you are tied down when you marry and you have to have a mortgage and a heap of material possessions. All the best, congratulations!!
2007-01-28 17:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ma C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so right.....marriage is about.....what ever you want it to be about.
Commitment is what makes a marriage, not a house or car or job or even babies.
Have your fun now and when you feel like (if you ever do) "settling down" do it then.
Good on you, look after that commitment.
2007-01-28 17:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by older mum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because most people "settle down" in one place to raise a family. Not saying that your way isn't right because, it's right for the two of you.
2007-01-28 17:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you talking about marriage? You're not even married yet! You're simply shacking up! You couldn't have waited until you were married? I don't think you have any business talking about marriage when you have no idea what it is!
My hubby and I have it all and we have a great marriage. Nice things do not make you or your spouse happy. You make each other happy. I think being financially stable BEFORE marriage is a real committment to your spouse. You want to be able to provide for them and to plan ahead before you tie the knot.
2007-01-28 17:13:51 · answer #7 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
its an expression meaning that you won't date anyone else you are basically stuck with that person your settlin down with them gonna spend the rest of your life with that person
2007-01-28 17:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by ghetto fabolous 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ahh the words of a young person in love.......you'll see.
2007-01-28 17:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
there is very little about it that is settling....believe me.
2007-01-28 17:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋