why do i feel this way?

Question

lately i've felt really empty.
and lonely.

just craving human existance. someone to talk to, someone to share my uttermost thoughts with.

my skin is craving iron. and the slide of it across my skin.

god, i don't know how long it's been. ..it's been a long time.
lately that's all i've been able to think about. just all day, and all night.
i thought i was doing so well. i thought i was becoming happy.
it happends EVERY time.
everytime i finally think i'm doing great, i come crashing down.
i wonder if during those periods when i think i'm happy, i'm just getting confused and i'm tell myself that i am. when i'm not.

i dont know if i'm doing that

i just want someone to confide in. someone to trust. someone to love.
it hurts so bad.

at work, there were these two guys, customers, everytime i walked past them they would snicker, and stare at me.
and then when i'd be out of eyesite they'd stop.

sometimes i'd walk by just to see if they were laughing at ME.
..they were.

my boss always asks me if i'm alright. do i really look THAT sad?
every 5 minutes. he's like "are you okay rebecca?" "..yeah" "you...SURE?"

price yelled at me because i asked him for $10's & $20s. i didn't know. he didn't have to yell.
GOD. all i want is some friends. that's all i want.

i'm not close to stephanie anymore. so now i have no one else. no body. not one person.
and i just one someone. just someone.

i can't believe i'm crying over this. everything is so stupid.
i'm so stupid.


should i just end it all?

Answer 1

Rebecca
There are always people to talk to... there are helplines, or if you wanna chat with the same person... there are groups online that support each other. You are not alone in feeling the way you do... I suggest you go and look in Yahoo groups, and see if there are any people who are experiencing the same thing.... you are not stupid for feeling alone... we all do, I know that I definately do... sometimes even when I'm with a group of people... find people who share the same interests or hobbies , thats always a great way to make friends... and once you get more comfortable hatting to those people, it doesn't seem as hard to make friends...trying to end your life is a very serious thing (obviously) and just coz you THINK you're alone, it doesn't mean you ARE alone!