My husband went to a bball game last fri and didnt come home untill 9am the next day so I put him out. I dint hear from him untill 5pm and he said he went to a bar afterwards and then continued to drink at a friends house where he stayed he said the friend was a male and that he wasnt with anyone else. He has since stayed at his moms and hasnt attempted to come home. I just talked to him this past fri since hes been gone he said he still loves me and he wants to be with me but he needs time. I dont get it time for what? We have a 5 month old baby boy and I dont have time to wait besides why are the tables suddenly turned hes the one that stayed out and now Im supposed to give him time? I am totally confused how can he love me and want to be with me but need time apart at the same time is this even possible
2007-01-28 16:30:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, so you are sitting at home with a 5 month old, and he goes to a bball game. No biggy.
8 o'clock goes by....
9 o'clock goes by....
10 o'clock goes by....
11 o'clock goes by....
12 o'clock goes by....
...and you are sitting there with the baby wondering where he is???? And at 9 a.m. he shows up? With no bruises or broken bones? He is lucky you TOOK his phone call at 5 p.m.
Don't let these hounds put a guilt trip on ya. You get to choose what you will tolerate from others. Your life (and your sons life) will be healthier if you don't tolerate that kind of nonsense.
If he wants back, I would strongly encourage you to have him stop drinking entirely for a year first. If I'm right, it will take him about 5 years to pull this off.
***Added***
Thank you for the insight, Tattoo. All due respect for working together as a team; but what rules did he adhere to when he didn't even CALL from the bar? Or the friends house? And what if the she had done this?
I'll admit I was harsh and unyielding, but I still feel that people get to choose their own boundaries. And he made a choice.
2007-01-28 17:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
So, he went to a game, went out with his friends, and stayed out late. And, then you "put him out". Now you want to know why he needs time? Probably to figure out if he feels like putting up with this for the rest of his life.
You're lucky he called at all. Most likely, the only reason he did is because you two have a child. Had it not been for that, he probably would not even look back. And, I for one would not blame him.
I just need to know how big that head of yours actually is. Awefully full of yourself. And, I feel sorry your son. You will be the one telling the little one it was "all Daddy's fault" when he "walked out".
**Added**
And, if you are going to follow Jenny's advice below, you might as well file for divorce now. We may be hounds, but we are also in touch with reality. That is one of the dumbest answers I have seen. You do not make the rules in the relationship. Both adults work together to make their rules.
2007-01-28 16:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You put him out of his own house and you dont know why he dont want to be around you? Wow... Talk abut clueless. Maybe rather than push him away from your family you should have worked on things. Its sad your son will have to suffer for your acts. Maybe he can get custody and you can get a pet cat.
2007-01-28 16:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by daknack500 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's getting some on the side. Likely either when he stayed out all night or when you threw him out. So where ever he got laid or blown caused him to rethink if he wants to be with you. He needs time for that. I may be wrong, but I feel your marriage is over . . . if not immediately certainly in the near future. See a lawyer.
2007-01-28 16:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can about guarantee that you treat your husband like crap. Why don't you read what you just wrote. It's all about YOU and what you want and what HE did. You're at fault too missy, maybe he wised up and realized there are women out there that will respect him, appreciate him, and give him affection.
I'd love to hear his side of the story...but we won't, cause it's all about YOU.
2007-01-28 16:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It took him till 5 o'clock to tell you that he was with a guy. Sounds fishy. I think that he needs time to clear his concence. It seems to me that he feels guilty for cheating on you. Don't let him back in till you've had time to think clearly. That is after you're stress level has gone down.
2007-01-28 16:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
sounds like you didn't want to hear what he had to say and he was telling you what is called the truth.
2007-01-28 16:48:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
u need to talk w/ him only he and you can resolve this problem..
2007-01-28 16:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by abra_got_personality 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋