Question for the Females?

Question

I am 15 years old, and I am just beginning to "discover" who I am and what I will be. Every woman/girl tells me that I'll succumb and marry somebody and have children, but I really don't want to. I believe that a woman does not have to "prove herself" by getting married of being seen hanging on a man's arm. A woman can be as independent, strong, and adventurous as she is capable of being. Please, am I alone in this mindset?? Please do not get me wrong and think that I am a feminist! If a girl honesetly loves a man, then she can marry him - I just don't believe that a girl "should/is expected to" marry.

Answer 1

No, of course you're not alone in feeling that way. Just look around you--there are many successful, professional women who are strong and independent, and may or may not be married.

I'm sorry that your friends and family have apparently presented it as an either/or situation, and particularly that they have phrased it as "succumbing" to marriage and children. These are things that should be considered sources of joy, not a negative, and certainly not something that should keep you from finding joy in life.

You may go through your life never deciding to get married or have children, and if that's the choice you make that's fine. But understand that it's not a choice you have to make today, and it's not an either/or choice as far as being a strong independent woman.

The situations you can envision yourself in have a lot to do with the situation you find yourself in currently. Today you may not be able to imagine yourself having children, but a time may come when you meet a man who makes you feel as if you are part of a family, and you can see the two of you creating a family together. It would be a mistake to close yourself off to this possibility, just as it would be a mistake to assume it is the only real possibility open to you.

Answer 2

At 15 you have many years left to worry about this sort of thing - travel, stay on that path of self discovery, experience the joy and sorrow of relationships, study, stay true to your main interests in life. If you meet a man that you love enough to marry on your life path, then good for you.

I believe in marriage wholeheartedly, but not because it's what society dictates or expects. This is a very outdated concept now anyway.

It's not about "succumbing", it's about being ready and being with the right person, who you feel is worthy of sharing your life.

some people never marry or have children, it's entirely your choice. You remind me of myself at 15 and what fun I've had along the way!! I am now almost 32 and getting married in March. If you had asked me 10 years ago the same question, then my answer would probably be very different. You grow and learn as you get older and your opinions change along the way about many things - just stay true to yourself

Answer 3

Hello, I'm 17, and no, you are not alone in this mindset. It would anger me if anyone expected me to marry, since I have absolutely no plans on getting married and having children (children scare me).The only plans of having any male in my life, is my future pet. I don't believe that you are a feminist, I agree with you about being strong, adventurous and independent. Our strength is underestimated by many people.

Glad to know that I'm not alone either,

~Hobsyllwin

Answer 4

Your not alone in this thinking and its no longer a feminist view. there are alot of women that have successfull careers and are not married or have children. don't worry about what others tell you. if you feel at what ever time in your life you want to have a husband or have a child youll know. Your friends and family are problay in the mindset of women need to be married and have children to be successfull and that isn't the case now a days. just do what you feel is right and if your friends are really your friends they won't pressure you into something youll regret later better to be single at 40 then 2x divorced due to pressure. :0)

Answer 5

News alert: You can marry and still be independent strong and adventurous. Marriage is not a death sentence lol.
Just make sure you marry someone as adventurous independent strong as you.

No one should be expected to marry. But life without love, trust, faith, commitment, emotions would be rather unfulfilling. I am sure you'd want that later in life, trust me. Those to me are the requirements for marriage. Whether you take it to the next step of the actual ceremony it is up to you. Personally I feel you can have all those emotions without getting "married". I would only marry if i want kids. I am traditional and prefer a kid to have 2 parents:)

Answer 6

First, there is nothing wrong with being a feminist. That just means you believe in equal rights and opportunities for women. Second, you are correct in your thought that women don't HAVE to get married. I wouldn't even enter this argument with someone who is trying to tell you what you are going to do ten years down the road. Just live your life!

Answer 7

No you should do what you feel is right you can only dictate how your life is going to be so follow your heart and do what you think is right if you find the right man and you truly love him and want to marry and have his kids then you'll know it you have many years left to decide theres no rush so take some time to discover who you really are and what you really want

Answer 8

You're absolutely right (except feminists--as opposed to feminazis-- have no problem with getting married. My /grandpa/ and his /wife/ are both feminists, so you can see how I know that. :D ). You totally do not have to get married. Marriage is not the end-all be-all for women like it was 50 years ago.

Answer 9

Wait and see if you find a man you are truely in love with dont feel like you have to get married. Not everyone is destined for marriage

Answer 10

i am 16 and i have only had 2 bf's . i dont care if i find one anymore because i am confident and no i dont need a guy. if i find one then great! but we are still young for love. stay innocent until you find a meaningful girl (you dont have to be married but make sure you LOVE them). that will also impress that girl once you find her. i like being single cause i dont feel dragged down in commitment. so you are not alone in your mindset, ande whoever is telling you that is doing so because that is probably their future and not yours. they are jelous as cliche as it sounds. they are. ppl who have done it before try to get me to because they are jelous they wasted there virginity. i now that because my best frend has donne it and tells me i should wait .