my wife died suddenly in June - she was 42 - it was totally unexpected. Apparently heart related. Except for 3 people, everybody vanished, but these 3 people have proven themselves to be good friends, and I honestly didn't consider them friends before, and the people who I thought were my closest friends were nowhere to be found, they all vanished. - I know people don't know what to say - but it makes for an extremely awkward situation. Like what do you say to a person who 3 years ago was there with you int he ICU with you for 5 weeks while your wife was critical (she lived through that time) and when she died he's gone. That's the thing, everybody is gone. My Mother in law -a nd grief counselor tell me to drop these folks, but I can't seem to admit that my 10 years of efforts to build these friendships is all for nothing, and I honestly don't want to say everythings a failure Plus I need support The few I've contacted myself haven't gone that well - I'm not sure what to do.
2007-01-28 16:10:18 · 4 answers · asked by on_the_move4ever 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think that you have enough to deal with to worry yourself with the attitude of these people. If they think that your relationship with them doesn't merit them talking to you after building on it for so many years, then i say that you are better of without them. You can always try to extend the olive branch but I honestly believe they are the ones that are supposed to be doing the extending.
2007-01-28 16:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by **brainy licious**J;-D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For now, I would concentrate on spending most of your time with your 3 new friends. Having someone who you can talk to and share with is an important part of dealing with grief. Maybe you'll hook up with your other friends when more time has passed. Try not to fault them, this is really a rather normal (although daunting) reaction. Some people feel like death is 'catchy'. Go with your support friends for now, and don't worry about the other relationships. They will most likely fall back into place some day. I would wager that these people have not experienced this close of an encounter with the death of a loved one yet. My sympathy for you, and I know that feeling abadoned by people you thought you could count on can make you feel more alone and destitute. You will get through this. Rely on the people who are offering to be supportive of you now.
2007-01-29 00:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by bfwh218 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may treat them like friends, but they don't. Let them be. Heal yourself and find some other friends.
2007-01-29 00:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by RunSueRun 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I JUST SOME ONE IN MY FAMILY ON THE 19TH OF THIS AND ALL ARE FRIEND THAT WE HAD JUST SEEMS TO WALK AWAY LIKE IT WAS NOTHING AND IT HURTS
2007-01-29 00:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by msjamie2581 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋