So my partner of 31/2 years wants to try sausage. She has been gay since she was 16 and is now 24. What do I do? Has anyone had this happen before? Do you think it might be a curiosity thing?
We just got a strap on but haven't used it because this came up just after we got it - I didn't know she was having these issues when we got it. Now I want to throw it out.
I have told her that I'm happy to let her go out and try it because her happiness is important to me. Do you think this was the correct thing to do? I just want her to be happy although it may break my heart.
Any comments please!
2007-01-28 16:08:32 · 11 answers · asked by gretphemelger 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I forgot to add that I would rather she did it with my blessing than cheat on me. She knows that would be the end of it all. We've already broken up once so she's broken my heart before. I guess I'm sorta prepared if she leaves me again - I don't care who for. She has a rare kidney disease and we don't know how long she will live so I just want her to be able to be content - she's dealt with so much already.
It's totally up to her - she says she doesn't want to lose me - we'll always be friends. So long as she doesn't cheat ehhe.
2007-01-28 16:26:14 · update #1
Yeah I think you did the right thing. You want her to be happy and if she is curious then she's going to always have that curiousity until she does. My boyfriend was okay with it when the situation was reversed. He let me fulfill my curiousities and I went right back to him because he was who I love and the hook up was just sex.
2007-01-28 16:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by Nette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can judge right or wrong in another person's relationship. Only you know what your relationship can withstand and what you will be able to accept. Here is my question: Would you be willing to have an open relationship if she were curious about being with another woman in a purely sexual way? If your answer was no, I don't see how your relationship can survive a perceived infidelity, even if you've given permission. How will you be able to reconcile her choice to share her body with someone else even if the experience isn't all she imagined? It could be curiosity, but when you're in a committed relationship, being curious doesn't give you license to do whatever you'd like. Maybe the best thing to do is let her go and have her experiences without you waiting in the wings.
This certainly isn't easy and I don't envy your decisions one bit, but I wish you luck and the hope that you'll be able to come to terms with whatever choice is right for you.
2007-01-29 00:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by melzoom615 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must truly love her to be willing to make her happy even though you may end up heartbroken! That is very admirable! I would say that it is probably just an experimental thing. I don't know either one of you but you are doing the right thing by letting her do what she wants to do. Maybe you two could experiment with a guy together? I don't know but I wish you luck!
2007-01-29 00:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Amaya 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a very sensitive issue and one that could very well break your relationship if not handled correctly.
Do you want to try it? Maybe both of you could go to a high class male prostitute and have a threesome, or her have sex with him and you watch. That way, she can have sex with a man that does not have any attachments to your girlfriend and you can watch or join in (even if you just stick to your gf).
I think it is important to do it together, rather than her by herself. Tell her that it is upsetting you and that you love her and want her to be happy, but that you are worried that something may change between you two and that that would break your heart.
2007-01-29 00:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by sarahmuffin4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it was the right decision for you to make; there's an old saying about if you love someone let them go, and if it was meant to be then they/she will come back to you. How would you know she was 100% yours if she never tried it and you knew she had lingering doubts and questions? You really wouldn't be able to enjoy your relationship if that were the case, right? Well, good luck and remember that all things happen for a reason, even the ones that hurt us sometimes.
2007-01-29 00:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by ms.lemmons 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa...awkward. Well, I admire your whole "her happiness is important to me" thing, she's seriously lucky to have you...but I'd just stay wary on this one. Sure, let her try it, let her get it out of her system; just make sure it's safe for her. Also, pay attention to her after she "tries it". Mood swings or distant from you or what? She might like it and decide to "go back into the closet" or something. Be aware of the signs so she doesn't lead you on. Just remember, this MAY change her and you should respect that. Just be ready.
2007-01-29 00:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think its only natural .If you love her let her go .She may be discovering she has a dynamic personality that includes men ands lets face it you strap on can never match the warmth a good man could offer just dont be angry this isnt against you and it will only alienate her from you.Im sure this hurts but its nature coming through.Maybe a bit late.
2007-01-29 00:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming sausage is penis?I guess she feel like she's missing out on something,I guess she might need to experiment before she settles down w/ her life.If you feel comfortable letting her to so,good for you,let her do it now rather then spring this on you 10 years from now.You guys need to discuss together and make a decision that you both can live w/!
2007-01-29 00:16:05 · answer #8 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you want to let her go and try it because this shows that you are a bigger person. She may like it, she may not. If she does, she's not the one for you, and the right one will come to you.
2007-01-29 00:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by indrep33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dont let her 'bounce around', then 'bounce' right back to 'you'. If you do have to let her 'go'........and she winds up wanting to be back with you..... make sure she was practicing 'safe sex', before anyone (you) ends up 'in trouble'. (std's)
Its a very 'noble' thing that you are considering doing.....to make 'her' happy, but keep yourself safe, as well.
2007-01-29 00:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by JSSK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋