I find it frustrating that people seem to take advantage of my easy going attitude. I try to be understanding but it seems to invite people to take advantage. Even my friends do it sometimes. I do not want to have to be assertive or guarded all the time. Any thoughts?
2007-01-28 16:01:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Be who you are inside, but, be smart enough to gravitate towards people who are like you....it will take awhile , but it is well worth it...
2007-01-28 16:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by paradigm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your question straight. Is kindness a weakness or is an easy going advantage a weakness?
Kindness is never considered weakness. In many cases, it takes strength and courage to be kind. For instance, someone says something bad to you. You could say something nasty back to them but that would be retreating to their pitiful level. If you can say something polite but boundary setting such as "thank you for sharing." the person will get the idea, they will realize that their comment was inappropriate and they will respect you more as a a person. Now is an easy going attitude a weakness? Maybe. If you do not set appropriate boundaries it is. Set boundaries as to what you are willing to do for your friends and stick to those boundaries. If you do not stand grounded on the things you say and the boundaries you set, an easy going attitude is a terrible weakness. But an easy going attitude can be good. I was terribly uptight about exam review and logged 18 hours to prepare for a history exam. I thought I was in bad shape. But my best friend who is extremely going attitude said"What's the worst that can happen?, you could fail?", "don't worry, the sun will still rise.". In my examination I remembered to go in with a relaxed attitude(after preparing sufficiently of course..) and I received a B+ on the exam. Could have been better or worse. But that is an example of the positive side of a relaxed attitude.
2007-01-29 00:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by markbigmanabell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sometimes. Folks still need to know where the lines are, and we all have them, rather than be taken aback with an 'uncharacteristic' outburst when you've truly had enough!
It really is up to you to remind people when you hear them saying stuff like "Don't worry, I'm sure she won't mind" or "There's no need to ask, I'm sure she'll say yes", that they really should ask and not take others for granted, just as they would expect for themselves.
It's you that has let it get this way, so it's up to you to push the bar back a little towards something less one-sided.
PS Apologies for sounding like "Dear Abby" with words like 'gentle'. (sound of self-slapping in background.....)
2007-01-29 00:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by Bart S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why nice guys or girls are perceived as being weak drives me crazy! It is important to be assertive and stand up or yourself, but you can be nice at the same time.
2007-01-29 00:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes people view kindness as weakness and its disgusting! you try to be nice to people, give them the benefit of the doubt and all that happens is you get walked over! i used to be like that-soft spoken-unconfrotational-etc..and i became a doormat for so many-its horrible that people feel they have to be agressive to get respect-
2007-01-29 00:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya thats why I try to be kind yet stern with people..so they can't mistaken me and try to take advantage.
2007-01-29 00:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by *Beautiful Zephyr* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah! this is what happens most of the time. but you need not be detered by all these. its not your shortfall, but theirs.
it's they who have to change. you don't have to take to their ideology, be what you are. they will know your real worth oneday or the other.
snakes do bite because they seldom know we are harmless, we need to maintain cool, then ultimately snakes would stop bitting knowing that we would never hurt them.
2007-01-29 00:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by englishvadhyar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PEOPLE THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU KIND AND EASY GOING THAT THEY CAN RUN ALL OVER YOU . BUT YOU NEED TO STAND UP TO THEM AND LET NO THAT THEY CAN JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU KINDNESSFOR YOUR WEAKNESS
2007-01-29 00:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by msjamie2581 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes i feel as if that too i hate it so i shut people out and a result ive lost all my freinds my girl freind left me for my best freind and ive become anti social and almost mute and i have autistic like qualitys stop it before its to latel.
2007-01-29 00:05:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it take strengh an courage in this world to be kind, So i don't think its weakness.
2007-01-29 00:07:05 · answer #10 · answered by Smiley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋