I need desperate advise???

Question

My ex told me he wanted to commit suicide over and over and I tried my best to help him. Then he told me how much I helped him, he left me to be with the person that caused him so much pain, a onenight stand who had his child. I helped him soo much. And he told me never to call him again. Everything has come rushing back to me, all the suice threats he made. He told me he bought cianide over the internet. He used to tell me he would do it when school was out over the summer because he was a teacher. He would tell me he couldnt do it anymore. I cant cope now:((( All I do is cry and I h ave alot of anger inside for him messing with my head. Apparently, he got over it enough to treat melike crap. I dont know what todo anymore. Its been 6 months and I am in therapy now!! How ironic! All because I cared, he got to care by telling me all that. Now look. How do I cope?? Please someone tell me. I know now I shouldnt have taken on that burden, but I felt he cared for me also.

Answer 1

You've got a LOT of questions about your situation. It's sad to see someone so hurt, especially when you had nothing but good intentions. Listen, this guy? He's a loser. Plain and simple. He's gotten himself into a loser's predicament, having a 1 night stand, getting some trashy girl pregnant, and making consecutive bad decisions like leaving a great girl who was a positive factor in his life.

My advice? Forget the medications, they just make you crazier. Forget professional help, they'll just waste your time and money and prescribe you medications. What you need to do, and I don't think anyone who answered you has suggested this, is to go on a trip. Doesn't matter where, as long as its someplace you've never been, and you do something you've never done. I went on a vacation during a hard time in my life, and when I was out there, my problems at home were the last thing on my mind. Bring a good friend, so when you get back, you have someone to talk to about all the fun you had; "Remember when we were at the _____ and you______ the _____? That was so Awesome!"

It worked for me. I travel on a regular basis, now, and I've seen and done so many things, that those memories kind of dwarf the bad memories. Don't try to forget, cause you never will. We're stronger for going through hard times like this. All you need to do is experience ten good things for that one bad memory, and you'll end up saying, "Forget What's-His-Name with the Babymama, I've got a trip to Ibiza next week!"

Answer 2

Keep with your therapy if it is helping you but you must know that this guy was using emotional black mail to get the result he wanted at the time.
He is really the person who needs the therapist, and to be honest with you he did you a favour by leaving. Having a man like this in your life would have led to never ending misery.
You are far better than this person, you were loving and caring and he used this against you. Forget him, move on. I know right now it hurts but I'm sure not far around the corner you will meet someone who deserves your kind of attention and wont require the emotional strain that this guy has put you through.

Answer 3

This guy is a "Toxic Person"... these people always turn everything around so that you feel like crap, even though you give your all to help them, and/or make them feel good... they are users and they prey on kind, giving people who want to help... they also use your love for them as a weapon. I've seen this time and time again... (I've studied psychology -honours) and my advice is to remove him from your life as much as you can...its gonna hurt... but in the long run your life will improve, because they are no longer messing with your mind... stay in therapy if you think its helping, as it can help to clear the cobwebs.

Remember you are worthy of love from someone who truly cares about you, respects you, and doesn't try to emotionally manipulate you by threatening suicide... don't ever let yourself get into that trap again... remember the signs and be aware in future relationships... the relationship is not good, if you have lost who you are.
Hope that helps

Answer 4

Listen, when you were with him, his problems were yours. But he made the choice to leave you and he's not you problem anymore. You may still love him but, if he can leave you once, he can leave you time and time again. Find someone that you can depend on, someone that will ALWAYS be there for you, a strong dependable guy that you'll love more.

This man, your ex, sounds like he has serious problems, anyone who tries to commit suicide does. Tell him that he left you so you lost faith in him and its not your responsibility to care or help him anymore. Tell me to see a doctor.

Leaving someone you love or loved is always hard, espically when they left you first but you have try and forget about them. You can find someone better out there, someone worth your while. This loser obviously doesn't know what joy he could find in life, in you, because he's to busy trying to get rid of it. What you did was good, trying to help someone in need it wonderful. But this guy is past that kind of help, he needs a doctor and he left you so he isn't your problem anymore.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel about caring for people who will let you down. Like some others said, keep seeing your psych and don't talk to that person anymore. Maybe he has a control issue he's satisfying by making you feel this way. You don't need him and he doesn't deserve your care AT ALL. You will find a lucky guy who will appreciate your attention. Hypothetically speaking, what will be the life insurance policy for you guys (hypothetically speaking) if you get married on the grounds that he would kill himself if you leave him? (I didn't quite understand my own joke, lol) Anyhow If you keep thinking about the past, and worrying about the future you're pissing on the present. You get me? Either way if anyone has to see a psych, it's HIM!!!

Answer 6

Continue to see your therapist. Do NOT allow that poisonous person back into your life. The next time (and I hope there isn't one) someone threatens suicide like that, consider bringing in professionals who can better cope. Get a mental health warrant if you have to. You can do this and the polic will come if someone threatens harm to himself or another person. They will take him/her to a mental health facility for evaluation and then that person can get help from a professional. Look at the toll that it takes when someone who isn't equipped to help tries to do it. I don't believe he has actually healed, and he has really gotten you in a mess. Keep with your professional help, and don't be afraid to call in for reinforcements when you need them in the future.

Answer 7

Concentrate on getting on with your life without him. Imagine how much worse off you would be if you hadn't found out what a shallow human being he is until much later, perhaps after marriage.

You can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you did a good thing for someone else, and strengthened your character in the process.

Answer 8

life is a struggle, if he's not capable to stay alive, he won't lived that long even all of any effort to keep him stay alive. no doctor can fix him, if he isn't fit for life. weak body or mind won't last long in this world.
tell him stop focusing on the feelings, he is just loosing his perception of life. the important thing is we are all alive. just try to survive. eat and be physically and mentaly healthy

Answer 9

i feel your pain..keep trudging through that lonely dark claustraphobic, cold tunnel of despair, with courage. search for the light of life..it has to be somewhere up ahead. has to be.if not...god is a sick f**k. tkcre

Answer 10

he desperately needs help...don't weigh yourself with his issues phone 911 the next time he say anything like that again and they will get the help he needs