I have One child an 8yr old boy.
I know that I lost my father at 15 and my sister was 9yrs he drowned and I really think it f*c**d us up. I know it did
I dont want what HAPPENED TO US TO HAPPEN TO my son
I realize his dad wont be dead but he will see my pain and will be in a very strange situation
2007-01-28 15:24:26 · 7 answers · asked by lucyQ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was 15 when my parents split up and it's hard on everyone in the family. When you guys break up you are breaking that secure family life and everyone will have to adjust. Your son will feel pain just as you and your ex will.
I would say to lessen the pain ,make sure you don't speak badly of your ex in front of him, and make sure your ex does the same. Make sure he gets lots of time with his dad so he doesn't feel abandoned, and talk about it as much as you can, as much as your son needs to, so he doesn't bottle everything up. If it starts affecting his schoolwork/ social life, you should get the school counsellor to talk to him, I'm sure the counsellor would have lots of resources on how to help a child through a situation like this. Remember, it's ok for him to know you're hurting too, then he'll know it's ok for him to hurt, and the only way to start healing is to acknowledge the pain you feel now. Good luck to all of you!
2007-01-28 16:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dramarama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on your individual situation... my parents were always fighting..i mean like everyday when i was a kid and i hated it....finally after I graduated H.S. they divorced, and 2 me it was a relief to finally see them happy...all kids really want is to see their parents happy, believe it or not they can tell if you guys really care about each other, and it hurts them emotionally to hear you fight. One thing is for sure if u get a divorce keep the peace between each other and never put your son in the middle, or make him take sides.
It seems that now everyone is ready to hit divorce court once things get a little shaky.... I am not referring 2 u....analyze the situation and maybe try counseling, that way your son can be sure that u tried everything possible to make it work. He may get upset if you split, but he will understand. Besides it is true what they about it hurting the child more if you stay together, than if you divorce....believe me I know.
2007-01-28 15:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by Nena_555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it won't hurt him as bad as it would if you stayed together and fought all the time. he'll get over it. he is a child. they are known for that. he will understand, trust me. it may take some time, but it is better to have two parents and two separate homes where the parents tolerate each other than living in the same house hearing constant arguing and not being able to escape. NEVER stay together because of the kids. in the end, they are the ones hurt the most.
2007-01-28 15:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts the children but if you think about it it hurts them much worse to see mom and dad not getting along in the same house when they see all of the fighting.. Children need stability in the home and if all they see is fighting and dischord among mom and dad what does this teach them if i may ask? If you divorce this will actually be better for your son then him seeing all of the fighting and anger in the home if the two of you cannot get along. If you get help and counseling for your marriage this may help and change things for you and your son... I wish you the best.
2007-01-28 15:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I don't have a clue.
My guess is that it's not the pain that causes the problem. It's the lack of a role model. Television and movie stars are terrible, terrible role models for children. Not having a role model is bad too.
My best advice is to socialize with men that you want your son to be like. Good luck.
2007-01-28 15:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by something 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i came from a "broken Home" but my parents were married untill i was in high school. It messed me up more to live with parents who couldn't get along. I am married now and find myself repeating the behavior i grew up seeing. It is always best to try to work things out but if that isn't possible it is better for a child to not live in an unhappy home.
2007-01-28 15:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by Kacey D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things you have no control over. A divorce will change who your children are.....for the rest of thier lives. That is just the way it is.
2007-01-28 16:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by Janet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋