married to husband for 17 yrs. he introduced me to one of his friends back in june which we all go out every friday till now we are getting a divorce and i have a huge crush on our friend. i want to call him, but if i do he will tell my soon to be ex i called then my soon to be ex will call me and complain. what should i do?
2007-01-28 14:43:44 · 19 answers · asked by pixie_kisses@verizon.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should take the freind aside and be straight fprward with him.Telling the situation and whats going on and see if it scares him off of if he is sticking around and he may have an interest in you.Be careful tho best freinds may reveal things that could harm the out come of the divorce.
2007-01-28 14:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by william h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't call the guy, you need time to heal from the divorce, and right now your emotions are all over the place. Your mind is not clear you are really just out to get back at your soon to ex and it's not fair to the new guy, because chances are this guy is what is call a transition guy. This is going to be a time to work on yourself and make better decisions on the next future husband. Choose wisely.
2007-01-28 22:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by honeybunny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like him tell him, but at the same time tell your soon to be ex-husband. You will be putting the guy you like in a tough situation. He either has to be a loyal friend or a backstabber in your husband's eyes. So, let your husband know how you feel so he won't feel that his friend is going behind his back. You know that he will call your husband anyway, so why hide the fact. Be honest with both of them, or you may cause more turmoil than he is willing to put up with.
2007-01-28 22:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Zeke 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only will you create problems between your ex and you, but you'll create problems between your ex and his friend more than likely. It's just not worth it. You can crush on this guy all you want, but ultimately, if he's that good of a friend to your ex, he's not going to give you the time of day.
Men tend to stick together in a situation like this,.. unless you are smoking hot and the ex gives the go-ahead. I highly doubt that will happen, so I'd save yourself the headache and just move on and find another man to crush on.
2007-01-28 22:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by Justin W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the divorce is finalized. I don't know how complicated it will be (ie whether you have kids, assets), but it could be awhile.
Don't be in a hurry to jump into another relationship. Take the time to find out who you are outside of your marriage. In the long run it will help you with your next relationship.
2007-01-28 22:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have no respect for your husband of 18 years, go ahead and call the guy. It is obvious that you have been sleeping with other men and probably other women during most of your marriage anyway, so you loving husband won't be all that surprised anyway.
PS, teenagers have crushes, married women have adulteress affairs.
2007-01-28 22:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by mycatsdead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have anything to do with this new guy, your husband will think it has been happening since you met him. even though it hasnt, it will seem like the catalyst that started the process. if this other guy is a friend of your husbands he will know that this situation will lead only to misery. if it happened to me, I would break him in half for doing it to me,. even though it seems you are the one leading him on. you see, we look for triggers to the downfall of events in our lives, and that meeting in june will stick out. good luck trying to convince your husband it wasnt like that.
infatuation in fresh meat is the doom bringer of marriage. screw outside of the friend pool, or face a stormy future. seriously, how would it seem to you if the tables where turned, and when the divorce is final he moves in with one of your close friends? a little convenient isnt it...
resist the urge, and find love in new circles.
2007-01-28 23:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by SAINT G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Y would u go out with your husband's friend??? But if u like him go 4 him after you're divorced.
2007-01-28 23:01:42 · answer #8 · answered by TrayLuvsJay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
work it out with your soon to be ex, i hate divorce, but if that wont work then just go for it and who cares what your ex thinks, unless you still love him enough to care his thoughts?
2007-01-28 22:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by sivracious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You respectfully wait, like a lady, until your divorce is final and then go out with whoever tickles your fancy! Until then, be admirable and stay friendly and that's it!
2007-01-28 22:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋