I'm 16 with a baby and soon another... ???

Question

I no Idea what to do. No family member will help or look at me. This frist is a baby boy who is almost a year know. But I don't plan this I don't what this to happen. How can i get this to stop happen and my family to look or talk to me and my kids. And maybe there fathers. One said never tell himm about me never ask 4 nothing. And the soon to be father is 17 and dosen't know.. But I know he knows and he's scared about the how thing. But before this babys I was in a bad relacion I got hit and things done around me and to me I knew was bad.. I was pregant at 15 then lost it by getting pushed down some staris. I can't look at him know. He sayes hes sorry and how he wants me back should I go back? Help me pleaz

Answer 1

So basicly, your 16 and have been pregnant 3x. Sounds to me like you need to research on the meaning of birth control. First time should have been a lesson learned...but 3, do you really need advice on this at this point. Common sense would be a start.

Answer 2

Here is a plan for you.

1 - Go on your own. You don't need a good for nothing guy pushing you around or lying to your face

2 - Go on welfare. Its not pretty but its a start. Do not invite the first nice guy you meet to move in with you. For now its just you and your babies.

3 - While pregnant finish your education. Make sure you graduate. I don't care if you take night classes from home. Graduate or this will be your life until you die at 30

4 - Go on Depo. Do not get pregnant again. Get your regular shots, befriend your doctor, get some help.

5 - Get your babies into daycare and go to school. Take something that will give you a decent job - what do you want to do? There are programs for single moms on welfare that will help you take care of yourself, your kids, while getting an education

6 - Pick your friends. Find good moms to talk to and for the kids to play together. Best bet is to join a church group [call the church closest to where you live so you can get there easily]. You need good people in your life

Your family might come around but don't bet on it. You might find a good man one day, but not until you're set up as an independent good woman.

Answer 3

Well one thing you can do is go on birth control if you don't want to be having kids with these low life fathers. You did plan this when you didn't take protection for yourself when you slept with whoever you slept with. And one.. you are always going to get child support from your babies daddy.. so he can't tell you to ask for nothing... two.. how do you pick these guys. I know I am not being nice right now.. but it is teenagers like you that are giving alot of teens a really bad name. Never go back into an abusive relationship... that will be stupid on your part. Most of the time... once a guys hit you.. he is never going to stop... he may apologize and act like the nicest guy in the world afterwords..but it will happen again and again. About your family... if you have apologized and tried to sit down and talk to them.. and they are still not accepting you. .move on... then are not going to change their minds anytime soon probably.

Answer 4

You ever hear of protection (condoms, the pill, etc??)

1)If this is true, don't go back with the one that used to hit you HE WILL NEVER CHANGE.
2)Talk to the parents of the second guy, they should help out financially
3)If you were 15 at the time you could have charged him with statutory rape (but I don't know what the time limit is)
4)Abstention, don't hop in bed with every boy you meet

Think of your kids for god's sake. What type of life do you want for them

5) I'm sure your family will be there for you (give it time) but I can understand how they feel also. Once is awfull, losing one and having another is a disaster, having a second is just plain STUPID.

Your parents are obviously wondering when number 3 or 4 are going to come. Try and act RESPONSIBLY

Answer 5

Get through school if possible SO you at least can later provide for your family. Government help such as health insurance and food stamps should be provided in your situation so take advantage. You of all people know to stay away from the loser who caused the death of your unborn, no matter how long ago it was. Next, realize your family is only looking out for you, their probably scared that you'll keep on having kids ending up a mother who permanently relies on the state for help. Talk to them and let them know your not trying to ruin your life and that your number one priority is your kids, they should help if it's sincere. Also, birth control after the second is born would be very wise so you can take care of your kids without any more unexpected pregnancies that will slow your/their future. Good luck

Answer 6

Ok first off. NEVER EVER EVER go back to a guy that hits you. Like everyone is saying..if he hits once he will do it again! They lie. TRUST ME....been there done that! He is probably needing to take control over someone and you just happened to be the target.
Also I think you need to get on some kind of birth control because to me..having 3 preg. and being 16 is totally..i dont have a word...your degrading yourself as a woman pretty much!

As for the guy(s) saying that they wont help you. BS! Go to court and sue them for child support.And if they don't pay..well guess what..they go to jail...and STILL HAVE TO PAY! It takes two to make a baby.

Also, DONT use your children as an excuses to quit school and not go to college. Get a GED or stay in school and get a HS Diploma. Tough it out. Do it for your kids. Think about their future.
As well as yours. Draw out a life goal chart in your mind of what you want in life. Like a house, a car, a job that pays more than 5.15 an hour, heathly children...etc.. When you get to college, you have TONS of opportunities to what you want to be.You can also get grants and loans to help with money. You can file under a single mom and get money to help you get an education.

Most importantly STOP HAVING SEX. I know its fun and pleasurable but you dont want to be 19 and have 10 kids that you cant support. WAIT! go to school, go to college, meet your goals...make a life for you and your TWO children. and if you find a guy that loves you and your children, that treats you right. Then move on to another relationship. You don't need a man in your life to make you happy. YOU MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!!

I hope this helps you. I am 19 and expecting my first child. The father of my child is a wonderful man that loves me and our unborn child. He tells me that EVERYDAY that he loves me and that I am the most wonderful thing in the world.Thats what a guy that WANTS to be a Dad is like. Find a guy that loves all of you. If not, oh well . Let the childrens fathers sit in jail or on the sofa playing video games for the rest of there lives, while you are a doctor or a teacher living the high life (not in drug "high") having a great life with your kids.

good luck!

Answer 7

you could give them up for adoption. there are many loving families that would take them, especially since they would be siblings. you can still be involved in their lives if it's an open adoption. I think you'd have to get the fathers to sign away their rights, but I'm not a lawyer and you'd have to ask one to be sure.

I know that has got to be one of the hardest decisions to make ever, and you probably shouldn't try to do it alone. you need your mom or dad or someone, anyone you trust to help you. and I'm sure it seems cruel that I even suggested it, but you're so young and probably don't have the means to take care of yourself on your own, and now you're going to have 2 babies. it's hard when you have support from your family, but it sounds like you have none at all, not even from your babys' fathers.

and I don't mean to imply that you're in imbecile or anything, but you do know how one gets pregnant, right? and do you know how one prevents pregnancy? if no one told you, you need to stop having this thing called sex until you learn what can happen when you have it.

definitely do NOT go back to the abusive boyfriend. it's unlikely that he changed without counseling or anything and will start treating you like he did before.

good luck with everything.

Answer 8

ill help u. QUIT SCREWING!!! if u dont have a steady job or at least a high school diploma which at 16 im sure u dnt have then u dnt need to be having babies! ur still a kid yourself and dont need to be trying to raise any on your own.Grow up before you lose everything precious to you.there are too many moms out there who have had to give up on all of their hopes and dreams because they wanted to grow up too fast and made mistakes on the way. Your family needs to see you trying to fix what youve done and trying to stay out of trouble. You need them and their support more than anything right now or else you wont make it. And NO DO NOT GET BACK WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they never change, Good Luck and by the way, you really need an education, you had trouble typing this.

Answer 9

It sounds like you have no conceivable way to support yourself and two kids. Get away from the abusive relationship and get yourself to a safe house. You need to think long and hard about keeping another baby. It's not fair to your children to bring them into a situation that is not ideal, and it sounds like you REALLY need to focus more on your education! And most importantly, quit having sex until you are better able to accept the consequences.

Answer 10

I was in a similar situation as yours, but not as young as you are. My kids are exectly a year apart. I got pregnant with my 2nd baby while on birth control. My family wasn't happy about it but they eventually came around. As for my babies daddy both of them are dead beats and denied them for the beginning but its their loss!! You don't need a man and neither do your kids, you can give them all the love in the world. But it takes two to make a baby and if the dads arent there for them you need to make them pay child support because its hard to raise two kids on your on. You have to have some kind of support from somebody. Good Luck!