Scared of sex - please help?

Question

I'm 12 weeks pregnant today and I have enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy - I ate well, no morning sickness and I'm happy with myself for the past 12 weeks. The thing which really bothers me is of having sex with my husband. We tried doing it for a few times, but I ended up stopping the whole thing in the middle of making love - probably lasts about 10 - 13 mins. I am just scared of hurting my baby or the 'bump' and thrust might lead to miscarriage. He has been supportive of me the whole way and i'm so grateful for that. My head is telling me that sex will either 'burst' the aminotic fluid and the banging will lead me to miscarriage.
I have no bleeding, no spotting nothing hurts and im feeling fine after making love. Please help me.

Answer 1

its OK to be scared but please know it will not hurt the baby at all i had sex with my husband from the day i found out till the day before i had my girls and both of them were fine and healthy and all my friends did as well and if all the people who tell you soon as you will see did and they have healthy strong baby's so will you!! so enjoy the freedom of "not having to worry about birth control" and feeling safe and loved and happy and if all else to be sure talk to your doctor and they will explain how the sack around your baby is not so thin that it can pop at all with sex! good luck!

Answer 2

It won't hurt the baby in any way. The fluid you're worried about bursting is a lot further away than you think...it won't burst. A fall down the stairs, or falling off a horse could cause a miscarriage, but just the natural movement of your body wouldn't harm the baby at all. Read some more books on pregnancy, like "What To Expect When You're Expecting"...they answer all your questions. The only reason to not have sex during pregnancy is if in the last trimester your doctor advises you not to. It gets harder to in the last trimester anyway, so make up for it now! Believe me, you'll miss it if you don't take advantage of it now...it takes awhile after the baby is born for things to get back to normal, so I would have my fun now!

Answer 3

A woman's womb is an amazing thing! It's designed to nurture, support and PROTECT your baby. Think about women who go through car accidents, or fall down stairs and nothing bad happens to the baby. A bump during sex isn't going to do anything, especially this early, baby's completely cushioned by the amniotic fluid. Your cervix is not wide open enough for his penis to hit the sac, let alone burst it, because you are only 12 weeks, not in labor!!!! Talk to your doctor about it, unless you have problems like incompetent cervix, sex is perfectly safe (and will help keep you and your partner's relationship close throughout the pregnancy). You may feel silly saying these things to the doctor, but explain exaclty what your fears are, and ask for an explanation as to the exact reasons why they won't be a problem, ask for DETAILS. It will make you feel a lot safer, and calmer about it in the end if you have a medical opinion!!

Answer 4

Don't you have a doctor to talk to? If so, they suck! They should be letting you know you are perfectly safe having sex during pregnancy, even late in pregnancy when the only position is from behind! lol.

Nature, baby, nature! Nature has taken care of the "barrier" and made it strong enough to withstand your hubby's "willy" up in there, the bump too, all of it is perfectly safe from the normal 'bump and grind' of sex, besides, who says you have to hang off the side of the bed and get banged? Have gentle, slow, passionate sex instead.

The only time you need to be cautious is in the last 3 or so weeks when nipple stimulation and orgasm can "speed up" labor, but even then, your baby and your body are safe, it just may be a faster arrival then you expected. This is because nipple stimuli causes the uterus to contract slightly (that is why you hear of mothers who breast feed losing weight/getting their shape faster than those who don't). The same happens after birth too, so before birth can run the risk of causing premature labor, but this is way later on, get some books for specifics, if it were detrimental, you'd hear about it all the time, people "losing their baby because her and her husband got it on". noooo, you don't hear about that, do you.

You should pick up a book on pregnancy. Don't neglect your hubby, appreciate that he's mature and nurturing enough to love your every curve during this special time.

Answer 5

it is fine for u to have sex. having sex cannot hurt the baby, cause u to have a miscarrige, or burst the aminotic fluid. ur cervix will protect the baby and the aminotic sack. nothing that goes into ur vaginal canal can get into ur womb because ur cervix is closes and there is a thick mucus plug covering it to prevent invection from passing through. i am saying this assuming the doctor has not put u on "special'' restriction and has told u not to have sex for some reason. alot of women actully say sex is more enjoyable during pregnancy, so loosen up and really enjoy ur pregnancy! take a deep breath girl ur freaking out

Answer 6

Okay nature made a woman's body in such a way that the baby is really, really protected. For anything external to harm the baby momma is pretty much gonna be messed up really badly. Notice i did not day it is impossible but not probable if it does not damage you first. Babies don't generally dislodge that easily. Sex is normally not dangerous to a pregnancy.

But I have a really good suggestion. You refereed to sex as "banging". Try gentle sex. Sex should not be "banging" pregnant or not. Have your husband go slowly and gently. Lay in a position that the entire shaft of his penis can not enter your vagina. No positions that allow for deeper penetration. Trust me your hubby will be able to ejaculate if hes goes slowly and the thrusts are shallow.

And keep in mind that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Honey a happy man is a man who is sexually satisfied. You really don't want to allow your man to go all the months ahead of you with out sex. Use you brain and figure out ways to keep him happy. At this point chances are really good you are not all that heaped up about sex anyway. So the two of you attend to figuring out how to attend to his needs in this area.

Answer 7

I didn't feel like that when I was pregnant, but I hear it's actually quite common. sometimes it's even the men who avoid sex for fear of hurting the baby.

sex shouldn't hurt anything, and it won't cause a miscarriage. unless there's a problem with the pregnancy to begin with, you don't need to avoid sex at all.

next time you see your doctor, talk to them and tell them how you feel about sex now. they should be able to help relieve any fears you have about it. you can keep trying to have intercourse, or you can try other ways to be close with your husband until then.

oh, and you shouldn't worry about anything rupturing the sac. it's very secure in your uterus, which is sealed off completely by your cervix. your amniotic sac is actually quite tough and shouldn't be bothered by normal lovemaking (heck, it's usually fine even if you suffer a fall or are in a minor car accident). your baby has quite a lot of protection. :D

Answer 8

You should be just fine. The majority of couples have a healthy and active sex life during pregnancy. My husband and I did and I was pregnant with twins. There is no way the amniotic sac will be punctured or pop, that's what your cervix is for it protects the inside of your uterus. And just be a little more careful if you are concerned that you are getting a little too rough. If you have any more concerns, ask your doctor. I'm 100% positive that he will tell you that it is ok to have sex during pregnancy.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with having sex.. i am 26 weeks pregnant and have been having sex almost everyday of my pregnancy. Nothing is going to hurt your baby. If you don't want to do it missionary there are other positions you can try and do that may make you feel more comfy. You won't hurt your baby and there is no way that your amniotic fluid is going to break... no way. You can always voice your concerns to your doctor to make you feel better.. but he is going to tell you the same thing. Sex isn't bad... and it is ok to have sex during your whole pregnancy. Goodluck and hope you feel better about sex...

Answer 10

You are definately not alone in feeling like this.I have known women who actually told their husbands that sex was not allowed during their pregnancy for this reason.
It is scary and it's normal feelings. But unless there is a medical reson like placenta previa etc, there is not reason why you shouldn't enjoy a healthy sex life. You will get used to the odd mixed feelings.It will crop up again late in your pregnancy when your baby's head is down,you really feel he is going to get knockedon the head LOL but they don't and in my experiece it either wakes the baby up for a while or the motion sends it to sleep.It was different for eachof my 3.
If you are still really worried,see your doctor or midwife at your ante natal visit.