I'm really embarrassed.I have been with my husband for 10 years.We just a had a child 1 year ago.Everything was great sexually till my child was born.
First,I'm not interested in sex and when I am I can't orgasm!!I can't talk to my husband he thinks that I have a problem and it's all in my head yet I can please my self.
I thought about going to the doctor but what can she do??Nothing but recommend couselling I assume.(sigh)
I dread him asking for it all the time.Is it him or me?? I really don't know??
2007-01-28 14:29:22 · 11 answers · asked by virgo woman 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
You just had a baby, that is normal.
You need to try to fantasize when you are with him, or do things to yourself before he does, so you are more ready for him and you are at least half way interested.
Good luck, that is very frustrating !
2007-01-28 14:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Naughty Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your problem is lack of interest or that you can't orgasm. Your body and life has completely changed in the last year. Worrying about sex will cause lack of interest and having a baby can change your orgasm process. However what would bother me the most is not being able to talk to your husband. It's not just your problem it is his problem too.
I would have someone watch your baby for the weekend and plan a weekend for just the two of you and talk about your hopes, dreams and sex (toys are a great way to help achieve orgasms and can be used with your husband). Play dress up, order food and have it delivered and just enjoy each others company. Hopefully by the end of the weekend you two can find a common ground again and start from there. And if it works you have something to look forward too and would do this as often as you possibly can.
2007-01-28 22:43:19 · answer #2 · answered by Brittanyskye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems after childbirth this problem is very common. Myself and other friends of mine have had the same dis interest in having sex, especially within 12 mths of giving birth.
I cannot answer why but when you think about it, taking care of a child and home can be very tiring, maybe your hubby wants it at the end of the day, when all you want to do is sleep. I know that was true in my case.
Try to get some time together when you re not so tired. As far as pleasing yourself goes well your body changes after birth, and you know your body better than he does.
You have to tell him what pleases you, give him some direction.
I have found that over time all my body changes have affected my sexual desire, childbirth,hormonal changes then having a Hysterectomy and because of that, Change of life.
I hope you find a solution but I dont think it will be a long term problem. Good luck.
2007-01-28 22:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by tassie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you experience is normal after childbirth. A lot of time is spent by the mother in tending to the baby which is an added responsibility that saps your energy.
As you are able to please yourself, and also feel in the mood for sex sometimes, try to analyse what are the situations when you feel the need for these. You can try to recreate these when your husband is with you, and tell him that you feel like having sex then. If possible, take a brief vacation with your husband and do nothing but relax so that your mind can be free and can concentrate on sex.
Ask your husband to indulge more in foreplay so as to rouse you and create a mood. Take him into confidence and get him to realise that women do lose their sex drive for sometime after delivery. If he is understanding, he would see to that he doesnt force himself on you when you arent in the mood. At the same time, see if his needs can be met, if you are not in the mood for total sex, by giving him an oral and masturbating him.
Hope you would be back to your normal sex life soon.
2007-01-28 23:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from. I had 4 children, and after each one of them i went through the exact same thing. It's not you or him. It is simply that your hormones are , shall we say " out of whack". Your doctor can help with this. Sometimes it is a subconious fear of the possibility of becoming pregant again. But most often it is a simple as the hormones being out of balance. Hope this helps, and know it is nothing to be embarrassed about.,all women that have given birth have gone through this same thing. Good luck ! Julia M
2007-01-28 23:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by julia m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children do great things for relationships except in the sex department. your body has gone through metamorphesis! you see each other as parents instead of lovers.
it's not all in your head, and I hope your husband takes the time to get back in touch with you.
2007-01-28 22:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Who Knew! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My problem is my mind wonders to much, I have to just focus on getting off and try to block everything else out! Good Luck hehe
2007-01-28 23:54:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
..... Having a child now you are probably more tired, some medicines can cause sexual problems too.are you taking anything that may cause it. try to relax more if your feeling anxious that can cause problems too. DON'T KNOW IF ITS TRUE BUT I heard they got VIAGRA pills for women too ask your doctor,.........wow its true found it on the web they do!check my source
2007-01-28 22:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get a vibrator for youself. When he wants some he will come to you. It's both of you.
2007-01-28 23:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the gynecologist and see what they can find out, maybe you were messed up some how when you gave birth
2007-01-28 22:34:57 · answer #10 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋