How can a troubled young lady get her act together?

Question

I am 16. Please help.

I constantly get in trouble at school, I am grounded indefinetly at the moment, two of my friend's parents forbid me to be with them, a few years back my mom passed away, I take out my frustrations on innocent people, need I say more

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It's OK, Emawee, it's the thought that counts, and it's nice to see you back.

Answer 1

You need a healthy support network, just try to be nice to people and treat them how you want to be treated. If you are even a little religious or if your not go to a local church and get involved with their youth program. There are people that will help you if you allow them to. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Hi, jsut asking the question,you are thinking right and on your way:) You haven't given much info so can't be too specific, but keeping people around you who have thier own act together is a start. Save some money if yu can with a part tiem job.study, go back to school if necessary.
At 16 the mistakes you make now,can affect the rest of your life,so think of consequenses,son't be impulsive. Keep your family on your good side if you can,so you have support when you need it.Good luck :) I mean it:)

Answer 3

You need a support system I would try big brothers and sisters these people will be good influences and help you get on the rite track the # should be in the phone book or look it up on line. Good luck wanting help is a great breakthrough.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death. It can be very frustrating when you have a ton of emotions bottled up and you don't know how to express them. My suggestion would be to get into counseling. It's a great way to vent constructively and the person who you talk to will never judge you. It will be a safe way to express yourself and will help you deal with what happened to you.

Answer 5

At 16 you must know actions have consequences.You know your behaviour is wrong and you must make a conscious effort to change.We could all tell you that you should act more responsibly but only you can take the steps to change yourself.As adults we usually have more experience to base our opinions on.We also know it takes more than words to turn your life around.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry that your mother died and especially at this time in your life. It is to your credit that you realize that you are taking out your anger (frustration) about this on other people.

You have a lot of anger in you and what you are doing is not releasing the anger. The consequences of this is that you get into trouble and still have just as much anger in you as you did in the beginning.

There are effective ways to let anger out so that you have less anger inside and in ways that you don't get you into trouble. This is one of the things that a counselor can help you with.

One thing that is normal to feel is conflicts. To both love your mother and at the same time be angry at her ( maybe even hate her) for leaving you. At the same time it is normal to feel guilty about being angry at her because you realize that dying was not her choice.

The Psyche ( both the concious and the unconscious mind together) is complicated and we can feel many emotions at the same time and still be normal.

It is so hard for a girl to lose her mother just when she is entering her teen years. My heart goes out to you. I had no father from the time I was 2 and 1/2 years old.

I think that besides counseling, if you can spend a lot of time with a woman that is about the age your mother would be, that it would help a lot. If you had an aunt that you like who is open to this, that would be ideal.

If you can't find 1 woman to fill all of the bill, sometimes you can get what you need from several women who could be mother figures for you.

When I look back, I see that my grandfather, an uncle, and my minister were all father figures for me. Unfornatunately, my uncle was not the best, but he was better than nothing. Find the best role models you can.

Is there a Big Sister's or some organization like that near you? I am trying to be a father figure to a teen sister and brother of a single mother that is a friend of my x-wife. I'm too old to be the best role model, but I don't see anyone else stepping up to take the job.

I know it's hard honey, very hard. Just by asking this question, you show a lot of courage and mental health. If your father can't afford counseling, there are some books on releasing anger in the self help section of a large book store that may be helpful to you.

The only anger book that I'm personally aware of is, "From Anger to Forgiveness", by Earnie Larson. It's very good but I don't know if you can still get it.

If you believe in God, please ask Him for help in this. He wants to help you in every detail of your life. We all have to overcome hardships in our lives but we never have to deal with them on our own. God is always with us to help us. I can't count all the times he helped me in specific ways.

After I wrote this I read your answers to some questions. I hope you're serious about getting your act together. You seem to have the attitude that teens should be allowed to do what ever they want to and never have negative consequences for anything. Also,that cheating and lying is a good way to get what you want.

As long as you think like that and act like that you will be a very unhappy person because life and the world don't work that way. You say that your father spoils you, I'm sorry about that because you need to develop the discipline necessary to be successful in life.

You only have two more years until you legally become an adult. you have a lot of changes in yourself to make in that time. You seem to think that you can heve sex with whoever you want to whenever you want to and that there are no consequences to this.

No man that is worth a $hit would want to have anything to do with you, much less marry you, the way you are now. You can change your ways if you want to, but it's up to you.

Answer 7

Well simple talk to a friend a good friend or me my dad but if ur a girl it better with ur mother
Well hear is some edvice or somthing to rember in life there good things and bad thing u have to deal with them the right way good thing will cover the bad

Answer 8

if you are the troubled young lady then you already made the first step. 1. you realize. 2. do something about it. change your direction in life. volunteer or join an after school activity. good luck!

Answer 9

Go to a strict boarding school. Or get involved in Big Brother/Big Sister group at your school.

Answer 10

Hon....the answer is at your fingertips....
You see your destructive behavior, now just STOP doing it!!!
It is a true measure of your maturity if you see the behavior, recognize it's inappropriateness, and STOP it!
Good luck..