I don't feel attracted to him anymore?

Question

I feel absolutely nothing for my husband. Even in the bedroom, I've tried and tried, but I can't feel anything for him anymore. All I see is a big selfish overgrown baby who needs a mommy and not a wife. I have two children with him, but I can't stand him anymore. We fight all of the time, and when he can see that I am happy on the rare occasion I am, he acts so meanly to make sure that my day is ruined. The only time I can feel anything sexual for him is when I'm drunk. And that's because I'm not in my mind. What can I do? I just hate having to fake it. I've even thought of an affair just to feel like I'm appreciated in some way, not just a one minute vessel.

I never said I didn't like my children. Where did I say that? Nowhere. Liking that overgrown child and the love of my children are two different things. I'd give my life for my children. At this point, for him, maybe I'd give a penny. It would be a lot more than he gave us.

Answer 1

I don't like him any more either!..mean bassturd!....let go get a drink!

Answer 2

Hello Alone,

I can empathize with you over this. What a pity you can't even like your own children, that is most unusual. Well I won't judge you on that it's not my place. But if you really have grown apart ,can't relate to yoru kids and have had a better time in an affair then. What do you think is best to do?

It;s not as if you have to stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids if they also disrespect you? Let him deal with them by himself, he will soon recognise what you were worth Hopefully by then it will be too late
Move on and find someone who loves you for who you are and what you can give and who can love you in return. This prig does not deserve you. As for gettimng drunkl to have sex, this is the worst thing to do. It could lead to another pregnancy and a further entrapment in a nasty situation. Stay off the bottle and keep those legs firmly closed ( at least at home)

Councelling will doubtfully achieve much except rebuke and denial from this man ( it will be all your fault) so don't even bother, wait till he's out, pack a bag or bags call a taxi and dissapear into the void. Migrate to Australia, New Zealand or some other place and start a new life for yourself. Remember whenever yoy deal with a55holes expect shite You don;\'t have to go through divorce no one demands it or marriage now adays.

Answer 3

You should try to go through marriage counseling because if you do it right, it will give you a safe place to air your grievances and maybe try to work them out. Also, I don't see any other options, because it takes 2 people working on a marriage for it to even have a chance of success. Sex is not the biggest deal, but you are not a slave to his physical needs. I doubt your husband is working on it, and now you don't want to either. If your kids are still young, a divorce will be less damaging to them, than if they are already teenagers. You might even be able to have a civilized relationship, if you don't do further damage to each other now. Also, I was thinking that if you go through marriage counseling and it doesn't work, then at least you will know that you tried your best. It may also help you expedite your divorce legally.
I wanted to comment on what the poster above me said : "Love is the ability And willingness to allow those that we care for to be whatever they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you!" This is not really true because that would mean that love would then be equal to the ability and willingness to let other people walk all over you and to only satisfy their own selfish needs. If you let them consider only themselves at all times, then they do not respect you, nor do they love you. It's not just about sex but everything else. I'm sorry some of the men here do not seem to understand that.
I would also recommend you buy a book called "Papillion", because it is inspirational and will help to carry you through this tough period of time you are going to be going through now.

Answer 4

you both sound very immature and selfish!

he sounds like an ****** and you sound like a bee-yatch!

but since youre asking this question...it must mean there is still something there.

first, let me ask you this. why did you marry the 'big, selfish, overgrown baby' in the first place? were you drunk? did you like the way he treated you meanly? most likely he was always this way. you thought you could 'change' him, right? immature women getting married seem to be obsessed with trying to change the guy...thinking that they will help them be a 'better' person because they themselves think they are such a great person.

so, how great of a person are you? you have to get drunk to have sex with him? with two kids? either you are an alcoholic or really selfish. pick one please.

what do you fight about? about what a jerk he is? does he retort to say that youre a bee-yatch? that's really mature on both your parts if that is the case. great to see such 'mature' people bringing more people into the world that have you two to model themselves after. a round of applause for such great human beings that contribute to better humanity.

explain to us why you have two kids with this loser? doesnt this make you a loser as well for chossing to have two kids with him? accident? first one? no protection? drunk, i see. second one? another accident? great to see that youre popping out little genuis' that will take after you.

feeling bad yet? if not, youre a self centered narcisstic, hystronic dumb F*CK who cant pull her head out of her AS$.

i am very very sure that he has a large part in your shared misery...but before you say that he is the source of YOUR unhappiness...take a look in the mirror...chances are is that YOU are the source of his unhappiness.

you need help. help from someone like me to be straight up and honest with you. no flowery words like 'there there dear...have another bon-bon. you must feel so terrible'.

two words 'BUCK UP'

hey, if you want me to service you, drop me a line! i'll appreciate your holes for 2 minutes...and i wont care if you fake it. i wont fake mine! happiness is a two way street. you suck his D*CK and he'll clean your PU$$Y up! that's how life is and especially a marriage.

see a conselor, spend the money...it is cheaper than divorce. oh, it would be a lot better for the kids as well if they didnt see you hating each other so much. otherwise, they will grow up to be just as (if not more) screwed up than you are! like father like son, like mother like daughter. of course, you sound selfish and sef righteous...so chances are youre just going to get drunk and F*CK your life away.

your answer to your 'problem' is simple. you have already answered all your own questions!

Answer 5

well if u dont feel that way about him anymore tell him, dont drag it on to the stages where he thinks everythings ok and u cheat on him. U have 2 kids involved in this talk to them and see how they feel about mum and dad argueing and then if u cant work it out by talking to each other, then your only other alternative is either have a temporary seperation and see how that goes if you like being apart from him then the next step would be a divorce, but remember the kids in all of this?

Answer 6

Hey, I can feel exactly, I mean exactly where you are. I really cannot make a decision for you, but I suggest, that, Mr Joseph C. really has no clue on what your wedding vows were to begin with, unless someone can empathize with you, they shouldn't answer. I'm where you are today. I have made a decision. A few doors have opened up for me to make that choice a little easier, one of them was by his choice. He already decided th at for me. Another, is that I have made my opportunities attractive to job opportunities. We create our own universe, feelings, emotions and attraction. What we give to the universe, is what will come back to us. Best us luck

Answer 7

You ned counselling on marriage. Probably your husband needs more of it. If the two of you can't talk it out - you need to see a counsellor to save the marriage and the kids.

Real love and intimacy in marriage comes from happy minds, not high ones. Obviously, happiness is missing here. You need help. Seek a counsellor - speak to your husband and do not break the communications lines ever - for the sake of the family. You can do it. Good luck!

Answer 8

i hear you it happens alot not in my case im not cortting or married at all but people i know have had the same thing happen to them just try and see the gud in him and if you cant then we have a problem look at him and think to your self y did i marry him and then try and think if has thoes same qualities as before and then get back to me ok if you want i hope mi info works for you

Answer 9

Leave him. Take my word for it. I've seen your other questions. He sounds like my ex husband. Hehe, how long have you been married? If you've been married less than 6 months, then you probably did marry him (he moves fast). Get away from him. He's a jerk.

Answer 10

Have an affair, maybe this will kick start your feelings towards your family. That guilty conscience always looks to resolve your issues.