Should I just give up on friends?

Question

I've tried everything everyone's told me, I've been outgoing, friendly, patient, I talk to people in classes,joined clubs, I say hi to people every chance I get, I plan my day around bumping into people I know to have a chat, pretty much anything anyone can think of. I was alone in high school, my mom, the school coundelor and everyone told me it would get better when i moved to a new city to go to university, but it didn't. I meet new people all the time and even have a few regular friends but i always get forgotten about. I don't get invetied to parties (don't tell me thier not imprtant because they are) Í sit in my apartment on weekends. Every move I make is trying to find someone to be with but that doesn't happen often. I act relaxed and pretend I'm not lonely and desperate when I do have people around but they still lose interest. I have hobbies and talk to people with the same hobbies (music). Should I just give up? Is there anything left to try? 'm tired of being patient

I can't have parties or pets in my apartment. I've been alone so long I can't stand it. It's not like I want to be the center of attension, I just see other people i group with people and I don't see why i can't be like that. Other people just hang out like it's not a big deal to have someone to hang out with!

And why don't people ever go out of their way like I do for them?

Answer 1

why do you have to constantly try so hard? Perhaps that is the reason why people act that way. Its hard to say though. Some people just have some certain something that people flock to and other...well, others don't. I have experienced almost everything that you've described, except for the planning of my day just to meet people. I have been used, abused, crapped on and such and about 5 years ago I got sick of it. So I have no friends in my life, and I am just fine with that. Think of it. No one to have to pretend with, no one that will hurt you, and there are no stupid head games - cause you don't play them on yourself.
Its a lot easier in life to just be by yourself - trust me. Or, at least, I should say that it is that way for me - maybe you'd disagree..
I have found that my two sisters ( one is one year older and one is 9 years younger) are the best friends I could ever have and the only friends I need.
I hope you have siblings....they can truly be the best friends you got!

Answer 2

I'm sorry. Being lonely is miserable. It sounds like you're doing everything right, though, so keep on with all that. One thing I'm not sure if you've tried is to join a campus group or class where you work on group projects (like a community service project, or on some committees, for example) where you would spend time working on something with others, which could open the door to possible friendships. Good luck!

Answer 3

First don't always say hi to people. I use to be like you, thinking being outgoing and friendly would work, and saying hi to everyone-but I didn't do it because I felt alone, I did it because I didn't want to have bad blood with everyone. But, now if I want to say hi to them I do. And I'm not cute if I don't want to be. I am basically myself-if they don't like it-they can kiss it. Just take it one step at a time. And, buy a pet-or believe in God, and that he'll help you out. :)

Answer 4

Sounds like you've tried just about everything. Except one thing comes to mind. Maybe you ought to have a party of your own and invite a few people over. I mean it couldn't hurt, and then maybe you'll be included more often in invitations to other's activities.

Answer 5

Maybe try a chat room you would meet friends on there all the tI'me im sorry that right now you don't have any friends but try the chat room that my work. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I think that your main problem is that you are trying entirely too hard..It sound's like you are the type of person that is only happy when you are the center of attention and that is no way to be.You will only be miserable trying to live up to those expectations.You should be comfortable with yourself and until you achieve that you won't be happy.