My Drunk Husband Said This To Me.....?

Question

asked me to get milk for our three year old. He told me to keep the change when I got it, so I did. A few minutes later he demanded it back, and when I asked him why, he just said he needed it. He's a very miserly jacka55 most of the time, and I alone care for our two children including buying them enough clothing and shoes, along with toys and what not. So I figured he could put forth something since he never cooks, never cleans, never even helps with the children. Just sits on his a55 watching his movies. He decided he didn't want to take no for an answer, and dumped my purse out looking through it. It wasn't there because I keep my wallet in my coat pocket. He then turned around, looked at me, and said that he hated me. He was drunk, remember, and he usually is honest when he's drunk. I said to him "What about the other day when you were drunk and said you loved me". He said "I hate you. You're a ***** and a theif". I've never stolen from him in my life. What's up?

He also goes nuts with the phone. When the children are at my mom's for the odd weekend they are there, he rings up my phone sometimes 30 times in a row. The rest of the time they're with me and he couldn't care less about the phone. He's also accused me of cheating and questions the heck out of me, knowing I've never cheated a single time and never would. He also knows that women in my family never cheat, while the men in his family are very known for it. So what is his problem???

Answer 1

He has a drinking problem & probably is cheating on you. Cheaters usually accuse their partner of the very thing they themselves are doing.

Answer 2

I can relate to what you are going through. I have been there and done that. I was married to an alcoholic for 25 years and I had a miserable life. I raised my 3 children in an abusive, alcoholic home and it was a very hard life. It sounds like you need to get out of the marriage as soon as possible because nothing will change. Things will probably only get worse and not any better. My ex also didn't care about anything but his TV. He was more married to his TV than he was me. I am now divorced and never one time have I been sorry. I wish that I could have been divorced when my children were little. They are now grown and on their own. I can now live a peaceful life.

Answer 3

Oh I feel for you! That is awful and you need to stand up for yourself! My husband would NEVER go into my purse, let alone dump it out on the table. It's a matter of respect. He obviously doesn't have that for you. The question for you is, How much longger are you and your children willing to put up with this? The first thing I would do is call a lawyer and set up a meeting. Maybe it's a financial issue and there IS help out there for you. Next, make sure that you get evidence that he's a drinker. Record each time that he drinks and what has happened. Record the date and time. Next, seek councelling. You'll need it honey. I know how hard it is and it will help you to deal with this. To make you stronger. Maybe you should do this before consulting a lawyer. If you feel that you two can get through this, see if you can go together. I hope you CAN get through this.
I couldn't imagine my husband not helping out around the house. How overwhelming it must be for you.
I truly hope that you can resolve this but only you know in your heart what needs to be done.
It sounds as though he's abusive mentally and it might not be long before it becomes physical if he's drunk.
Please take care of yourself and your children, he sounds so unstable.
Hope this helps! Please let us know.

Answer 4

How long has he been like this? Long enough for you to have a three year old child. What's up? I'll tell you what's up. Your'e married to an egotistic, selfish, greedy, intolerant, childish, miserly, rude, ignorant and drunk son of a b***h. Your'e basically got vermin in the house. Do what you would normally do with vernmin. GET RID OF THE STUPID BASTARD. For God's sake come to your senses and dump this thing. He is a badk mistake and millsone around you and your'e childrens' neck. Dump him before he harms you children. This is not a matter of if but of when. Dump him now.
You must leave him. Call assistance from the police. Go to either family or friends or a women's group. You must get assistance. Take your children with you. Obviously you have a job. You can sustain yourself and your children. And if you don't you could apply for assistance. Seek out a women's refuge if you have to . But one thing is certain- you and your children need out of there.

You and your children need and have a right to a better life than you are getting at the moment. Just think of how these children are growing up and will grow up if you stay. Protect them from such a future. You owe it to them. You owe it to youself. You's have a right to a life and future of safety, fairness, love, companionship, care and opportunity. Take it- it's your's. You have every right to it. Give him an ultimatum. Seek help for his alcoholism and bloody well get a job. If he does not- divest yourself of this lazy, good for nothing and contemptuous scum

For what future for you and your children. You choose the future of tomorrow-today. Choose one that is a good and fruitful life-not one of dread, fear, abuse and suffering. You have a right to a decent life-make the choice today. Give him the ultimatum, if he doesn't -peel him off like a dirty skin, put him where all bad mistakes belong(and he is a bad mistake) down the sewer of bad experiences, learn from this and move on. Give yourself and your children a life a pleasant experiences and a good future. It is your choice and your future to take-take it at once. If this person will not turn-he will burn. If he will not stop-dump him-AND DUMP HIM NOW. For he doesn't love you or the children but uses and abuses you. He thinks you's are there for his pleasure and convenience. And there is only one peron on the earth he loves-and there are no prizes for guessing who that is. So send him where he belongs into the garbage can of history's craphouse-where he belongs and send you and your children into a bright and happy future by the hard choice that you must make today(and a very hard choice it is)- to a bright and happy future-where you and your children belong. You sound like a fine and decent woman, you deserve a fine and decent life-hope this helps and good luck.
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Answer 5

Well speaking as a dad and a husband, you need to leave that sorry piece of sh1t. I drink and occasionally get drunk, but I would never get drunk to the point where I am an azz to my wife. Especially when my kids are around. It sounds like your husband has some serious issues. I don't know if he acts that way when he isn't drunk, but if he doesn't act that way when he isn't drunk then you need to give him the choice to either stop getting drunk or you should leave his azz. I am sorry that you and your children are in that situation, I will pray that you situation will start to look up.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like women in his life have let him down in the past. It's not fair for him to take that out of you - he's only going to end up driving you to deceptive behaviour, one way or another.

Can you help him find a way to contribute to the household? Not having a role there must make him feel pretty dreadful inside.

Best if you make time to talk with him about this. Make sure you are both 'in a good place', go out for a walk or for a coffee together and talk it through. Tell him how you feel but try to work through your anger beforehand so you don't end up shouting at each other.

Sounds like he needs to see a therapist before things get really out of hand - he is obviously insecure, angry and jealous, and we all have trouble dealing with those emotions.

Answer 7

Well Dear Lady,
You have in fact a husband that may be quite possibly cheating on you. If this had been going on for a long time, I wouldnt say this, but if this sort of behavior has recently started, you have a problem and should seek counselling asap. It seems as though he may be accusing you of something he is already engaged in

Answer 8

why are you put up with this crap
he showing no respect you deserve better pack you stuff and move back to your mom and when the dishing pile up he might notice you re gone good luck and smile life will get better you re have your kids and that important and when you re safe go to the court house and file for a divorce you own that to you kids you can get a waver to file just asked also a restraining order he tell he get the help he need if not move forward good luck

Answer 9

Sweetie, Honestly..If your husband is an alcholic, I dont think you should stay in the marriage...
Im not saying he is, but if he drinks alot, and you are taking care of the kids by yourself..and he isnt helping you at all..You may want to re-evaluate your situation there...
Talk to him about his drinking and ask him to stop...If he doesnt want to, I dont think you need this, and most certainly your children dont need to grow up seeing this..
I would honestly, talk to him and see what he wants..if he cant change and be the husband that you deserve..you may need to look at changing your life...
Like I said...your kids deserve better and so do you..

Answer 10

He needs help for his alcoholism.

Seriously.

Talk to him about it when he is sober. If he is not responding, get both families involved. Have an intervention. For your sake and your kids' sake, this needs to never happen again. Just imagine what the kids must think after seeing this stuff! They are probably extremely confused, or think it's okay to belittle you.

You have to change this situation.