I know there isn't anything easy about seperating two people that vowed to be together for life but anyone out there that has gone through it, I'd appreciate any advice on how to let go. I try to be "big" about it but next thing you know I'm saying something horrible or mean and I know its just the hurt talking. I get so angry and know I shouldn't be saying what I do but out it comes. What do you do, please only sincere answers...
2007-01-28 13:16:43 · 14 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is really no way to get through divorce easily as it tears apart a marriage and the hearts in the marriage... No easy way about it at all... It is basically tearing apart a family that you have worked hard to put together and is a very sad and hard time. Over time you will be able to let go but this will be a process and take time and healing to get through... You may even need couseling to help you through it.. I wish you the best.
2007-01-28 14:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only need two people to get through a divorce: a good lawyer and a good therapist. The lawyers only purpose in life is to make sure you get what you want out of the settlement (and custody if there are kids). The therapist is your sounding board so you can get all of your anger and frustration off your chest and you can move on with your life. Don't bother getting upset at your ex because it only gives the other person satisfaction that you've lost your cool. It may sound cold hearted but it's true. Anger can also lead to more pain and even legal actions against you. Even with a support system of friends it's going to be all you getting through a terrible process. You end up becoming a much different person when you're done.
The one thing I can say is you should take this time to look at yourself in the mirror and see what it is about yourself that may have contributed to your failed relationship. Again your therapist is your best bet to find this out. You don't want to even think about starting a new relationship until you feel confident that you can handle things differently and hopefully much better than the last.
2007-01-28 21:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say but it ain't going to be easy.Just when you think everything is going to get better it seems the world comes crashing down again.It's probably going to take about two years before you start feeling like everybodys NOT out to get you.Your attitude will begin to change for the better and you will want to be around people alot more.I don't have any words of wisdom other than take it day by day.Don't dwell on the past and try to avoid conversations that will take you back to the bad times.Instead of moping around try to get out and explore places that you haven't been just for the sack of getting out.I went to alot of places that I wouldn't have ever considered going to before but when I got there it was a learning experience that helped me find myself again.Use your time to build your bank account up or to go take some classes.This helped me and it kept my mind off the negative stuff because I had to study.My kids stayed with me so together we worked as a team to forget and move on.It's now been six years and I still have a bad day sometimes when a memory comes back but I don't let it get me down.Forget about what has been said or done.you can't change it or take it back so try to forget it and move along.Most people would understand your pain and your reactions because of your situation.Hope this helps in some way.
2007-01-28 21:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, there is nothing easy about divorce, but there are things you can do to make it a little less hard. Right now the pain is still strong so the best thing is to aviod your ex for awhile and let yourself heal. After a few months if you decide that ya'll should remain friends then give it a try, but first give yourself time to heal, which you can't really do if you see your ex alot!
2007-01-28 21:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mandie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced three seperate times and the easiest way to get over this is not to sit at home and brood over it, get out meet people take up a hobby something that interests you and then each time you recall good times you had together also recall it with a bad time, each time you get to feeling sad about the person not being there recall something that they did that just plain out irrated you or disgusted you in some way and believe me you will not be long in mourning over this episode in your life
2007-01-28 21:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by billc4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to put aside the anger in a divorce, especially if you were dumped or you feel the other person is being unfair.
Just do your best to keep your feelings to yourself unless you are in an appropriate place to voice them. And - give yourself permission and time to heal.
Divorce is like death without the dead body. Many times you experience the same grief process.
2007-01-28 21:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by S. W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to let the situation nor the details of it get the best of you. Address the emotions you feel. Confide in a friend. Distance yourself from his world as much as you can. Concentrate on your life and make it what you want it to be. It took 6 months for me to get to where I wanted to be. Time heals.
2007-01-28 21:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts when people break up, for myself I just stayed busy, starting over will do that to you, hang in there and look ahead not back....things will be ok!
God Bless!!
2007-01-28 21:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by snickers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't get through it easily. it's now been three years and we're finally beginning to actually talk to eah other again without the sniping and anger.
i would love to say time heals everything, but it might not. i hope you get through this well enough.
2007-01-28 21:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by elly r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going thru divorce too
sometimes i am okay, sometimes i will go mad. there is alot of emotional ties, we knew that we shd not to carring on but too much of the past haunt us down.
I pray to God, to help to pull me thru. Think of the blessing that God has given to you every day will make you a more confident person.
like, there are thousands of women out there are sick but i am healthy. there are a thousands of women out there without food, but i am well provided. there is thousands of women out there live in abuse, humiliation, but i am getting out of it .
God bless you , and start to count your blessing today =)
2007-01-28 22:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kiki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋