im 20 weeks pregnant today and have been getting movement from my baby, because this is our first and all new to us im very excited but my boyfriend says im putting presure on him and taking away the excitement, and that im hurrasing him into feeling the baby move.when i get upset he walks away saying your emotions are making you like this, am i being too pushy??
2007-01-28 12:48:35 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
he sounds a bit of an immature **** hole to me, sorry you are having his baby love.
2007-01-28 12:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If there are no other problems in your relationship in general, then this is just a reaction to the experience neither of you have even been through before. Women and men can both react differently to different stages of pregnancy. I would also be upset if this had happened to me, but I remember a few moments my hubby had once the baby was moving - men will never experience the movements women do, and they may find your tummy moving sideways (later on) and generally the whole pregnancy thing 'inconceivable'. They can't see the baby, you are blooming, and there is this 'being' inside you that you are so attached to, but he can't fully connect to as he doesn't know what the feeling really is like. Don't be too hard on him, he'll be different when he sees the baby in the flesh, when it starts crying, pooping etc. Then this baby that he made, yet can't see will become a reality and he will love it. Man go through a lot of emotions too, which sometimes are underestimated. Your baby will now rapidly start to grow and you may find that he could become more 'distanced'. He doesn't know how to 'deal' with this change, and as the birth is approaching closer by the day, he'll begin to get worried about you when you give birth, will you be ok and safe, will the baby be healthy, will you have postnatal depression, extra strain (lack of income) etc. There is a lot to think of, so don't misinterpret this as his lack of interest - men often aren't very good at expressing themselves - that's why there are more female midwives than men - we can relate to the experiences as we have been through them - men can't. Give him time - I don't know how old your boyfriend is, but if he is fairly young, then even more so, all this may be confusing for him. And tell him to be more supportive as telling you that you are harassing him into feeling the baby move is not a good choice of words.
2007-01-28 22:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are being pushy. That's not saying you're intentions aren't good. But like you said, this is the first time for both of you. He may not be excited throughout your entire pregnancy. Some guys just feel very left out during that part. It's perfectly normal. If he doesn't seem to want to feel the baby move you just have to accept that. He may get more into it as you get further along. You have plenty of time left. As the baby becomes more active he'll probably get more excited. Don't worry about it so much. Once the baby gets here you'll realize how silly this was. There are many bigger things in life to worry about.
2007-01-28 13:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Wiccan~Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you feel your boyfriend isnt being very interested in the baby but I would suggest that you maybe sit and talk with him about his thoughts and feelings, with this being your fIrst baby he is probably feeling a bit nerevous and unsure as pregnancy will be all new to him and he could be stressed about how things will be when your baby is here. Why not buy him a guys book on pregnancy, one that I would suggest is called from lad to dad, you should be able to get it in wh smith and other book shops or even online. If your baby wasnt planned then your boyfriend may feel like he isnt ready to be a dad and if so then you really need to sit down and work things out, maybe you both need some couples counselling or maybe your midwife or health visitor could offer some advice. It would maybe be worth while to go ante natel classed at the hospital together and take your boyfriend to your check up appointments and scans if you dont already to make him feel involved, sometimes men can feel pushed out with pregnancy so try and make some time for the 2 of you with no baby talk etc. I wish you luck, in another 20wks time you will be holding your baby.
2007-01-28 19:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by thedaddy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not...this is your first baby of course u will be excited especially feeling the baby move,they dont know how it is because they cant feel it from the inside and see how intense it really is for us...He is being unreasonable and uncaring right now,he probably has a little stress on his hands and is taking it out on you which is very normal for a first time parent to be..I would suggest when u to are lying next to eachother or sitting near one another u kindly place his hand on your tummy and say something like your hands are soo warm,or that feels much better,he will then feel the kicks out of the blue and get excited without u pushing it (in his words)...this is what i did to my husband when i would get big kicks,after that he always wanted to feel the baby move...good luck and congrats!!!
2007-01-28 13:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him...he might be feeling a bit stressed out about the pregnancy espicially if your young. Sometimes guys just don't understand what all the fuss is about, at least thats what my boyfriend tells me (I'm pregnant with my first). Let him to things in his own time, if you feel the baby move and take his hand gently and put his hand on your belly. You're not being pushy, just getting excited, if he can't get excited about it maybe talk to a friend or your mum about it.
2007-01-28 13:00:38 · answer #6 · answered by smileydudett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like he's having a hard time coming to terms with this pregnancy. Was this baby planned? Having babies with boyfriends is not an easy thing to do. Having a baby can be a very stressful time and when you don't already have the commitment of marriage, it can be very hard to make it through it together.
I don't think you're being pushy. I can tell you're very excited about this baby. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-01-28 12:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by Trouble's Mama 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would think that he is not very into your pregnancy. I'm 23 weeks, and my boyfriend asks me all the time if he can feel the baby. You aren't being too pushy; I would be upset as well. You should talk to him and ask him what is going on, and what he is feeling b/c men don't open up like we do.
2007-01-28 12:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being too pushy. Obviously, he has a problem with accepting that he is going to have a baby. You need to sit him down and talk to him when neither one of you are upset and just explain in a calm voice that you are worried about him and how he feels towards the baby. My husband was always very excited to feel the baby move and never felt "pressured" or that I was "harassing" him when I wanted him to feel the baby. He was overjoyed!
2007-01-28 13:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm strange....why on earth would he be like that. Of course you are excited, and so should he be. Most men are gagging to feel their baby move when they touch our tums because up until this point a lot of men feel a bit left out so this usually makes it more real to them. If I was you id sit him down and say you really dont understand why he is being this way, and tell him that yes women can be emotional during pregnancy but this situation has nothing to do with hormonal mood swings, just that you are confused why he is being cagey about touching your tummy!! It sounds to me like hes the one with the mood swings. Goodluck to you hunnie x
2007-01-28 21:35:01 · answer #10 · answered by doodlebip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Try not to be too hard on him, men just don't seem to understand how special it is for us! I am 24 weeks pregnant with my second and my boyfriend wont feel my stomach either, the idea just freaks him out. Yes it is upsetting sometimes but i have learnt to look at it this way. The baby moving inside me is one of MY rewards for carrying him well and helping him grow. Our boyfriends really don't know what they are missing but its there loss. You just enjoy it while it lasts.
2007-01-28 19:06:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋