I am having an awful time coping? I need advise, opinions, please. My ex ended our relaionship 6 mo.ago?

Question

When we were together,he really wantedto be with me,called me every minute he had,wanted me to meet his family, told me he loved me & couldnt be w/o me.But he had a depression problem & I helped him through ALOT, like his feelings of suicide, it was an ongoing issue. He finally confided in me he had a child w/ a one night stand bf we met. He wanted nothing to do them,bc he didnt want a child w/her,someone he didnt care for or"respect".Eventually he wanted to meet the child,& I told him he of course he should.Well, he developed feelings for the mom and ended our relationship.But whats worst was,she called me & told me he told her that he wasnt attracted to me & that he never loved me.When I confronted him,he said some of it was true some wasnt.I believe he said these things bc he wanted to be with her.But how can someone do that to someone that was there for them through so much.He hurt me so badly. I have been told Iam very pretty,theother girl looks like he pulled her out ofa dumpster

Answer 1

That's a horrible story! Ingratitude has been said to be the only sin that's unforgivable. You see why, because it could really make you into a cynical, bitter person who doesn't want to help anybody.
But from your description this person is seriously mentally ill (depression, suicide tendency). His constant calling indicates here not love but that he is extremely dependent on support, like a drowning person on a lifeline.
The responsibility of having a child increases stress and could take away from this constant attention that he feels he needs for. So he decided to run (what an asshole: the same thing that he did to you!).
But now he may have discovered something else, namely that a kid can also bind a woman to him and she will be happy that somebody is there and kids, like dogs, can give you very much love for very little good. They too, are extremely dependent.
So he chose them.
That your beauty and kindness are not a factor shows you that this is not a relationship to get a sensually beautiful experience but a survival strategy of an extremely ill person.
If I were you I'd make a very intense effort to correct the sexual attraction to needy unstable people. Help them in other places.
The good you did to him will certainly not be lost and serve your future relationships. They way you supported him and the relationship with his kid was wonderful and exemplary. Be proud of yourself, beautiful girl!

Answer 2

wow, you've been through a lot!! Life will always have its challenges some easy some hard. My advice is that you keep a positive attitude and choose to learn from this experience. what your ex did to you does not make you a less person. At least now you know what kind of man not to build a relationship with. You are strong, just asking for advice makes you a stronger person. So dry off those tears, learn to slowly accept the past, give yourself time to heal. Cry a little, laugh a little. This experience could be a blessing in disguise.
God bless you and be with you.

Answer 3

I understand how angry and betrayed you must feel. The fact that this women called you and said these hurtful things to you must have just made everything seem so much worse for you. You probably are very pretty and a great person, but sometimes we get mixed up with people that use us because we are such giving individuals. You are judging these two from your own perspective of being a decent human being and they obviously have no integrity. Try and get a counsellor to talk to as you have a lot of issues of anger and sadness that need to be discussed.
Remember that you did nothing wrong and what you did do was for the benefit of this child. This man lied to you about this women and then he lied to her about you. Do you really want to be with a person like this who is obviously so unworthy of a decent kind person like yourself? Maybe now you believe that to be true but give it a couple of months and one day you will wake up and not even think about him for the entire day. Your heart is hurt and you need to grieve the loss of the relationship and just like anything else that is broken you need to give yourself time to heal. I know you will and God bless.

Answer 4

Although we all talk about stress, it often isn't clear what stress is really about. Many people consider stress to be something that happens to them, an event such as an injury or a promotion. Others think that stress is what happens to our bodies, minds and behaviours in response to an event (e.g. heart pounding, anxiety, or nail biting). While stress does involve events and our response to them, these are not the most important factors. Our thoughts about the situations in which we find ourselves a re the critical factor.

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Everyone sees situations differently and has different coping skills. For this reason, no two people will respond exactly the same way to a given situation.

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Some situations in life are stress-provoking, but it is our thoughts about situations that determine whether they are a problem to us.

How we perceive a stress-provoking event and how we react to it determines its impact on our health. We may be motivated and invigorated by the events in our lives, or we may see some as "stressful" and respond in a manner that may have a negative effect on our physical, mental and social well-being. If we we always respond in a negative way our health and happiness may suffer. By understanding ourselves and our reactions to stress-provoking situations, we can learn to handle stress more effectively. We hope that this booklet will help you to build better coping skills for managing stress.

Answer 5

OK
1. You do NOT need a suicidal, depressed person. God did you a favor.
2. It's GOOD that he's with his child.
3. Your beauty has nothing to do with why he chose her. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Tish.
4. He "doesn't respect her" and she looks like she got pulled out of a "dumpster".... he sounds mentally ill as well. God did you a favor.
5. "One day at a time". When you wake up in the morning, pretend that nothing else existed from before this new dawn. That you are in a self contained new happy place. Please try that meditation.

Answer 6

This guy has serious topics. one component i have discovered in life is in case you go with to be a girlfriend to someone, be that. don't be someones therapist besides. He has melancholy topics, between different ones. it is only too undesirable that you invested a lot time in an agency that became practically thoroughly doomed from the start. the perfect component for you, is to seem out for you. Do what you go with to do, it is bypass on. This guy has a baby with yet another woman, inspite of his thoughts for her he has a life-time criminal responsibility to his new child, and the drama will continually be there between him and his ex. you do not go with that drama. lady you deserve better, now bypass available and get it! good luck!

Answer 7

wow...some peoples kids let that fool go with his dumpster girl they deserve each other, you deserve better.it will get better dont worry.feel sorry for that baby.

Answer 8

Sounds like a real loser to me. You picked him, now you have to deal with him.

Answer 9

there are plenty of fish in the sea.