She was creamated, and her ashes put into a pretty little box. Her son took that box, and gave it to his daughter.
This daughter built a small altar on her dressertop with the box of creamaines and some candles, and a prayer book. Every day, she lit the candles, and prayed for her Grandma.
Do you think this is healthy for her?
2007-01-28 12:27:45 · 13 answers · asked by kiwi 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She's 10 or maybe now is 11. Her mother told me she was doing this. Mother was pleased with it.
2007-01-28 13:21:23 · update #1
I do believe that everyone should be allowed to grieve in their own and in their own time.
I think the fact that she is praying FOR her grandma and not TO her...is fine!
She will eventually move on, she will heal from this. Apparently her grandma was very special to her, she feels the loss through and through---everyday the pain will become less and less.
2007-01-28 12:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is the daughter?
Should she be involved in the lighting candles ritual?
It's a personal family thing and the praying is good for her, if the family wants her to have such faith. But the time period may be an issue. The parents should consider how her peers may react if they come round. They should certainly consider the next step in this, rather than this being a daily ritual until she one day turns, wondering what she's been doing?
2007-01-28 12:56:03 · answer #2 · answered by jinz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I would hope when I go I would have family that prayed to me everday as such. Contrary to what people on here are saying, I really dont think anything is wrong with what the grandaughter is doing. Depending on how old she is, she probably grew close to her grandmother and feels as if praying and doing a lil ritual is as close as close can get now that the relative is gone. I know I still have a wondefully framed picture of my grandmother and I will become belligerent if its taken from me or moved. Everyone has different ways of dealing with loss. If she wants to have a ritual, or a party, or talk to her grandmother even though shes dead, I really dont see the problem. As long as shes not conjuring up some voodoo spirit, she good to go!!
2007-01-28 12:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals with grief in different ways, so I don't think this is a problem. If it continues for years, maybe, but as of right now, I don't think this will be an issue. It may also depend on the age of the child, but I also think that as long as everyone keeps an open mind about this particular child's grieving process, everything will work out alright. She is simply dealing with her emotions. I see it as little different than my aunt, who's husband died several years ago. She visited his graveside every day, brought flowers and prayed over the tombstone and spoke to her husband, telling him what their children had done that day, what the family had done, and so on. This merely helped her grieve, and helped her keep her husband a part of her life even though she knew he was gone.
Shorthand, anything that helps someone through their grief is something that should not be worried about. As long as she isn't harming herself of someone else, she should be alright.
2007-01-28 12:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by Yangie J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the individual, of course, but I'd say this mourning sounds a little too intense, particularly if she's young. It's good to grieve, but for her to be incorporating a dead relative into her daily routine is actually more like a way of avoiding the fact that her grandmother isn't there anymore. If she hasn't been taught otherwise (or rather shown by example), this isn't really surprising.
It'll surely run its course, but I do think her parents could help her make the transition to accepting it sooner rather than later. But it's easy to say this, not knowing the family. As I said to begin with, it's not really a one-cure-suits-all matter.
2007-01-28 12:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by stuffnstuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came from a country that have the same traditional of cremated and their ashes will be put in the temple or even at their own home so we can pray for their soul to rest in peace. So, for your question? I think it depends on what your believe is . To me, death soul is unharmed and that's also was my love ones.. I still love them no matter death or alive.
2007-01-28 12:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lilian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally do not. I think we have to be able let go. I don't believe that we can pray for others once they are gone. It is in God's hand then. Carrying on with going thru the rituals means nothing.
2007-01-28 12:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by C C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People deal with death in all different manners. How someone grieves is personal.
If it's not healthy for her, what are you gonna do? How old is the child? I am not trying to be nasty but what business is it of yours how someone mourns a loved one?
2007-01-28 12:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by chestnutlocs1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember when Cartman made chocolate milk out of Kenny's ashes?
I think that is what I am going to do when our cat is no longer with us.
Good luck.
2007-01-28 12:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after a while life will just go on as long as no one forced her to pray then it`s definitely healthy & will reduce pain & create a comfort place for her later in life when she needs some one to talk to thats where she will be.
either that or she will get bored of it & just get on with life.
2007-01-28 12:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋