Especially if they aren't religious? Why do they demand a legal commitment rather than accepting love as enough with a verbal agreement? Is it because they want access to the guy's money in the case of a divorce? I'm not in situation, but I've noticed this as a trend in our culture. Let's keep the ad hominem attacks to a minimum. thanks.
2007-01-28 12:24:21 · 16 answers · asked by Edward 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I failed to define what I meant by verbal agreement; that is, promise not to cheat.
Also, when people live together without marrying, people are able to keep what they came into the relationship with, rather than allowing the rabidly anti-male family court system to deal with it.
2007-01-28 12:42:50 · update #1
very good answers by Katlady, Abby, and invisible.
2007-01-28 12:47:14 · update #2
the only ones that wants to be married is the one that have never been married.. been down the isle twice and never want to go again.. it is more like walking down the gallows or a plank on a ship.. you say i do and the next thing you no is you dont have no say over your life.. the men tell you what to do .. what to say .. and how to feel.. hell they even tell you what to wear.. what to watch on tv and where you can go .. you cant even make a move before asking for permission..and the men that are not like that are the ones with girl friends on the side
2007-01-28 12:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not just women. people develop their ideas based on what they were brought up to believe and what they experience. The general beliefs of what poeople around them have are also influencial. in alot of cases the woman is insecure, scared, and needs a sense of security. Experience seems to be the most influential. There are timnes that a woman can feel more secure or stable if there is a legal contract involved. However, I have found that it really isnt true. Legal contracts can be broken and whoever has the money wins. I worked hard and contributed to a marriage financially as well as every other way I could and ended up with a few pieces of 12yr old furniture and a pickup that needed a new engine, and more expences and bills. I have learned that legal paper is more trouble than it was worth. Love and personal committment and honesty and communication are whats essential to a lasting relationship.
2007-01-28 20:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by katlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you grew up or who you know. But, wanting a legal agreement, is better then a verbal one. What if the boy or man they want to marry is a lech or has nothing of his own and then with a verbal agreement, if it all ends the man takes what ever the women owns as it was his the whole time. Not all women are fixated on getting married, I mean look at me, I'm 27, look like a barbie kind of except with an attitude, creative and I have a boyfriend for the last 4 years who doesn't want to be married nor wants kids. So, I don't want marriage, I would just like to live together, but he is having a hard time doing just that.
2007-01-28 20:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by amazon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it's because that's how it was from the beginning of time. What's wrong with wanting to be married? Shacking up is what some prefer. Yes, they are in love but always want this way out. Commitment takes courage and goes beyond being in love. To truely love means to give of yourself and gladly share that with the other person. Why are so many men not willing to give that commitment and honor the position they were put in. A women longs to make a nest and care for her family. A men should long to be the provider.
2007-01-28 20:32:27 · answer #4 · answered by VW 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well my brother - in - law always says to my sister that he has to love her cause he married her. So i guess the real answer is why are so many people afraid to be married - i don't think it has anything to do with legal commitments - i think in most cultures like mine it has more to do with starting your own life and living with that person and having kids because of course you need to be married before you can do all these things - it is like a rite of passage
2007-01-28 20:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually a legal committment covers the butts of BOTH parties...through the legal committment BOTH parties are entitled to 50 percent of ALL marital assets. That includes any 401s any retirement accounts, any investments, the house the cars etc. Living together with a "verbal" agreement doesn't cover Jackshit. If they purchase a house together one party can walk away leaving the other one responsible for the mortgage and all of the bills. One party can evict the other, and (if they're smart LOL) One party can clean out any joint accounts they have leaving the other party with no money. Whether you are a man or a woman that little piece of paper is nice to have in the event of a split because without it you can be left out in the cold with just your undewear on.
2007-01-28 21:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
yes they want that commitment. and they want to be able to use the courts in there favor if any thing goes wrong. but too society still puts pressure on people to get married, its like you have to do it. the Christians believe that they will go to hell if there not married. and you ever notice if you are with a girl for a long time people will start asking you when you are going to get married, like its something you have to do, my belief is woman are influenced more by society, you see it on t.v. look who just got married Brad Pit and who ever it was. and lots of woman love watching that crap. in case of a divorce of course there going to want access to your money, and there going to want what ever amount they decide they deserve.
2007-01-28 20:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by devil weed 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it...Little boys are raised to play with their trucks and pretend to be what they want to be when they grow up, ie... policeman, fireman, construction, whatever.
Little girls are raised to take care of their baby dolls, play with their "home toys" like easy bake ovens, vacuums and push around grocery carts (yes, they still sell little plastic grocery carts).
In our television/movie/cartoons, even commercials, the girl is always looking for prince charming to love her, take care of her and rescue her. The ideal life for a little girl is to grow up and get married, not shack up, live together and see what happens. Even our music. Remember that song a few years back, I think it was Georgia Satellite? "....no huggy, no kissy til I get a wedding ring."
And by the way, I wouldn't marry anyone who was "demanding" anything from me, let alone a lifetime commitment.
2007-01-28 20:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Elizabeth P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is because it gives them emotional, financial, and legal stability. It's also the ultimate form of commitment. That's why I think people want to get married.
2007-01-28 20:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well why does a man just want to have all the fringe benefits in a relationship and the woman gets nothing in return.?
2007-01-28 20:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by Denny O 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋