How to survive rejections?

Question

Hi All,

How can one deal with rejections? What if one gets rejected by a girl he loves, gets rejected by a university he admires, gets rejected by friends, gets rejected by the sports team he wants to join, ....
what if one's life is full of rejections..
How to suceed in a life with no intelligence, no luck, no beauty?

I dont think finding a niche just to be successful can solve the issue.."Rejection" - it feels as if its more innate - some thing that one cant escape just my moving places, changing girls, or trying different things.. something fundamentally has to be changed...what is it? i dont want to answer my own question here... Aren't there any brilliant, smart thinkers who can answer my question ? How can you even gain confidence to succeed in life after so many rejections? What should be right way?

Would appreciate well thought and mature answers...

I would like to thank the people who took time to answer this question.

Thanks a lot, hope this discussion makes a difference to people who read it (including me).

Answer 1

ummm it would seem u have intelligence, reading ur second paragraph

Answer 2

Instead of worrying about the rejection why don't you focus on the things that make you happy. Just because you have been rejected by a few people doesn't mean you have no intelligence or luck.
You may need to put a little more hard work in to get the results you want, universities - well I know in Australia you can reapply the following year so some people either go back to High School and re-do the year hoping for higher scores or they might look into doing a course through a TAFE (which is like what the americans might know as a community college) and then try and get into university later on down the track.
If you have been rejected by the girl you love, move on and find someone else, it may seem hard, but it is worth it, you deserve to find someone to love you back. And lastly your friends, I am not sure how you have been rejected by your friends, but it seems that you are moving into a different stage of your life as you are talking about universities, from high school I only still keep in contact with two people, so you will find that you will make new friends, through either workplaces or uni's or even new girlfriends groups of friends.
Goodluck and try not to let it get you down.

Answer 3

Well even after so many rejections throughout your life, you have staying power, enough to send out this question and ask for help. That shows that your "self-esteem" is still in place. I will assume that you are an "only" child, if not, you are detached from a "close" relationship with your parent(s). One need not be considered "stupid", due to a series of rejections, one needs to take a "backwards look" at those rejections and find the reason(s). First it could be that you were not exceptional to make the team sport. The rejection by the University was probably due to the number of applicants and enrolment was full. The "lady" problem is so simple. Remember, a guy catches a girl when she lets him. So don't pursue, let them come to you. The ones that "like what they see", will seek you out. Now go conquer the some of the more important issues in life, like Global Warming, or better still, the rapid rise in the rate of HIV/AIDS in the USA and Canada. The more your "out there" the more chances you get in life. Join some good cause, something Your passionate about, and the rest of your issues will be resolved. You are who you associate with. Get out there and meet some nice people. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Life is about choices and that comes with allot of trial and error. As fast as you can either download a {self motivational book} and listen to it as well as absorb the info or read a book like they did in the olden days. When you were a newborn baby you didn't care about rejection, "I'm sorry you changed". Get out there and do it, don't ever let anyone tell you any different if you need to ask 4 or 5 times keep asking until you get what you want and deserve. Something tells me you already knew this answer.

Answer 5

You've found a person who has experienced rejection many times--too fat, too short, too old, too young, not good enough, not ready, or just not suitable.

You sound intelligent to me. I can't understand half the questions on this site, and yours is perfectly readable. And you are right--something fundamentally does have to change. That would be your self-image.

If one person (establishment) does not like you, remember those who do like you. And apply to different universities. I'm sure you like more than one.

I was rejected by the first two I applied to. Then I applied to two more, and although they were lesser-known, they seemed a better fit for me anyway. Make sure you visit colleges--I had to because as a music major, I needed to do auditions on-campus. That way, you will know how the people really are. And if you're not sure what to make of a college, visit again, and make sure you actually observe classes. That's what helped me make my decision.

Currently, I'm not having particularly good luck with men either. As is, I go to a very small school (about 450 students). At least half of the men in my school are homosexual, and many of those who aren't are taken. So I'm not left with many options. I did date someone at school, but he has commitment issues that he eventually blamed on me. But while I know that he hates me, I know that he's just one of many. Eventually, I made friends at school, and now, it's even easier because new students transferred in.

In the end, remember this: What matters most is how you see yourself. Do this quote as a Google Image search. It will be very valuable, especially if you like kittens.

You can e-mail me if you want; I like to talk to people about life and issues and stuff.

Answer 6

If you have absolutely nothing going for you, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are even alive proves you have succeeded at something. On top of that, you even know how to read and write. Obviously, you have plenty going for you. You just need to learn to focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have.

You can not escape rejection. It is an inevitable part of life, unless of course, you choose not to ever ask for anything. In that case, you won't be rejected, but you will be left with a rather dreary existence.

The most successful people endure the most rejection. You can succeed, not by avoiding rejection, but by enduring it, and perservering in spite of it.

How do you build up your confidence? Your self image is determined by every experience you have ever had, real or imagined.

Let's say you ask a woman for a date, and she rejects you in a humiliating manner. Over the course of the next week, you play this incident over in your mind 500 times. Where your self image is concerned, you have suffered, not one humiliating rejection, but 501 of them.

When someone pays you a compliment, you wisely disregard that, so as not to allow that to influence your self image. You suffer that indignaty only once.

If you intend to drive to Chicago, but instead, you end up in Detroit, that does not mean you don't know how to drive. Your driving is fine. It's the navigation you need to work on.

I'm willing to bet you're smart enough to know what you need to do from this point on.

Answer 7

Your problem is your letting others determine your value or worthiness by how they react to you!!! YOU NEED TO DEVELOP YOUR OWN SENSE OF PERSONAL VALUE AND CONFIDENCE!! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT THEY ARE MISTAKEN!!!! IT IS NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK THATS IMPORTANT HERE BUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND THINK!!! I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become!