is it right for me to be upset at husband behaviour?

Question

This weekend I have not been staying with my husband, im at my mum house due to other commitments, however saturday I rang my husband and he seemed busy all day so I gave him the space to do whatever he wanted, today was the same where he was busy with friends,cars etc. The only decent time I got to talk to him was at 10, but what I noticed in the first 15minutes of our conversation is that he kept replying back to whatever i asked him after taking so much time so eventually I flipped saying that the whole weekend all I wanted was to have a decent chat with him but there he is distracted, delayed in responses and all that for what? His reply was im just getting into the story of watching dawn of the dead! my question is that considering Ive given him his space all weekend to do his things, is it right of me to be upset seeing as he can't even give me some quality time even if that me talking to me over the phone?

He doesn't have no credits in his phone to call me although im the one with the contract and plenty of free minutes which is why I rang him

Answer 1

I have to admit that if I were in your place I would be upset also. You said that when he was distracted with his friends and cars you gave him space. At ten he should have been ready to hear from you. He basically told you he wanted to watch Dawn Of The Dead instead of talking with you. Which I might add is a re-run!So yes you should be upset!

Get a load of Piranha: Bet he is single and lives in a cave, or with his mommy!

Answer 2

How exactly did you give him his space for the weekend if you kept calling? Which, you had to have done to know the phone was busy all day.

You can tell you have not been married very long. You can't go one weekend apart without having to talk on the phone. You were doing your thing up there, let him do his at home.

And, yes, women do seem to attempt to have a conversation when something good is on you're trying to watch.

You're married, and supposedly going to spend the rest of your lives together. There is plenty of time to talk. If you get mad over things like this, you won't stay married long.

Answer 3

yes you are right to feel put out by it, it doesn't take much effort to rent the movie if he wanted to see it so badly, but you may find that there are some areas in your relationship where you may not be getting what you need, and it's pouring out over into this situation, try not to take it as a rejection he really is just 'being a bloke' (it seems), you need to tell him calmly what you felt you needed from him and that maybe he could ensure he has some credit and contacts you when he can give you his full attention next time, blowing up and having a go at him for it will only cause resentment, you are both adults and are capable of speech-just use it effectively.....just a note-talking of divorce is an over reaction to me, you cant threaten that every time you have a problem or issue.

Answer 4

Yes and No.
The worst thing a person can do to another is ignore them (well, maybe that's not the worst thing).

But, yes, you have the right to feel any way that you want including being upset.

On the other hand, with all the possible things that a husband could do, why be upset because he was trying to divide his time between you and a movie?

Granted you are probably much more important to him than the movie, you just don't feel like it right now.

Just remember this, guys only have one track for their train of thought to run on, women, however, can operate on a multi-lane super highway with their thoughts.

Answer 5

I think you're over reacting. Sometimes it's nice to have time without your spouse. And if you are calling all day then you really aren't giving him his space. Besides he was watching Dawn of the Dead not messing around with someone else. I bet if the sitaution was reversed you'd think he was being unreasonable for getting upset over you watching a movie instead of giving him your undivided attention. So I'd just drop it because in the grand scheme of things this isn't that big of a deal.

Answer 6

Space? He sees you every day and he's probably enjoying his "alone" time to do whatever he likes doing. I don't care if it's watching a movie (as loud as he wants), working on the car, or visiting with old friends. Women don't realize sometimes that us men get tired sometimes of all this touchy feelly stuff, and getting to know one another "deep down". When you give him space, leave him be. Let him call you when he's had enough alone time. Don't call him wanting to get all touchy feelly. Women seemed to be ruled by emotions, men are not. Sometimes I just have to tune my wife out to get my alone time. Women are just too complex sometimes for us men. I have to bite my own tongue cause I just want to tell my wife to, "get over it!". Instead I try to hear her out because women are not like us men.

Answer 7

I can understand how you feel, but bear in mind most blokes just dont think like women (unless they're gay), most of the time we dont think with emotion or feeling towards anything other than gadgets, footy and the telly, just take it for granted that they are there. My wife goes nuts when I do it to her, but I dont even realise it most of the time!!

Having said that it's no excuse for not stopping to think what your better half needs even if it's a quick chat about the days events.

Answer 8

It seems to me that you have not been married very long. First of all, did your husband call you at your mom's? Did he check on you that same way? Where is the TRUST in this marriage?Look, he didn't cheat on you, he was filling his time with the "boys", doing "guys" stuff! He obviously "trusts" you, do the same for him.

Answer 9

Youre absolutely right in feeling the way you do. It sounds like this guy seriousily has his priorities out of whack. If any guy does not make his wife priority number 1, then he doesnt deserve to be married at all, especially if you lose out to a TV or movie. He has a huge problem in his relationship and doesnt even want to talk to you at all. If I were you Id show him that I was tired of all the bull, call him tonight and tell him if hes not willing to talk to you about things then youll be contacting a divorce lawyer in the morning and proceed to sue his a.s off in court. Let him panic for awhile, it wont kill him. Maybe he will get his priorities in order real quick. Good luck

Answer 10

You need to remember that men don't like to talk especially to their wives.He knows he will be seeing you soon so why spend time on the phone.Doesn't make any sense to men to talk about nothing.I agree with your husband about the movie when I start to watch a movie I don't like to be disturbed.So don't be mad at him he did nothing wrong.