This man was/is involved with a woman and they have 2 kids. They were living together and just had a baby. Some how he set his sights on my daughter and left his wife and decided he wants to be with my daughter. She is infatuated and believes all that he tells her and blames his 'wife' for the split. I have been in contact with the wife and am given her side of the story. It seems this guy is a cad and is lying to both of them, however my daughter won't consider the wifes side and thinks everything the wife says is a lie. She is being manipulated, lied to ,and God knows what, how can I help her see that this guy is no good ?
2007-01-28 10:39:02 · 15 answers · asked by squacked off 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This relationship is soo messes up I can't seem to glean the truth. One side says this the other that, I tend to believe the wife. I feel like a homicide detective looking for inconsistencies in everything.I threatned this dude when this um relationship with my daughter first happened, I went on a rampage because he gave her meth for the first time and I see all the bad that can only come from this ...I wish my daughter would open her eyes...He is a snake and I wish I could expose him before he ruins both famalies...
2007-01-28 11:07:35 · update #1
Please keep in mind that it isn't about this guy or his wife. It is about your daugther and her choices. If it weren't this guy, there'd be another one. She has the choice to not sleep with this guy, she has the choice to not talk to him or be around him. She chooses to involve herself with him, no matter if he is a manipulator, a liar, or whatever.
2007-01-28 11:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by Keep It Sane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your daughter know that you are concerned about the situation. She may hear you out, but she also might be in too far with this guy. You might want to try and tell her that you have heard the other side of the story so she knows that she is being lied to. Sometimes people have to make these mistakes to realize that the person they were with wasn't the right person for them.
2007-01-28 18:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your daughter is very young and naive. I know it hurt inside for you because you want to protect the baby that you bought into this world.
Don't preach to your daughter because she does not hear you right now.
Give your daughter a big hug and tell her how much you love her so much and that you will always be there for her through thick and thin. Then after she acknowledge your unconditional Love for her, let her go regardless how painful it will be.
She have to see and learn for herself to understand what you are coming from. Make sure your arms are wide open for her when she learn from her foolish mistakes. I believe she will begin to understand what TRUE LOVE is about.
2007-01-28 19:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by Big P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are in touch with his "ex" wife...Maybe you should do some devine intervention...LIke this..Invite the ex over and do not say who she is when she meets the 18 yr old. Talk in general about the cad of an ex she has..get the kids point of view on this guy then tell her who the ex is. OR..Take her to theis guy's normal hangouts and let her watch him in action. Then she can see for herself...Use teh ex wife for guidance.. I know she'll be happy to help you out.
2007-01-28 18:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by tanja3703 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't have a lot of luck taking the you-shouldn't-date-him route with your daughter. My mom quickly learned this was not the way to get me to stop liking a "bad-for-me-boy." She smartened up real quick, and instead of advertising the forbidden fruit, she made little comments any time she noticed his bad hygene, poor table manners, etc. I hate to admit it, but it worked. I got turned off by him and ended things. Just be careful not to do it so much that she ends up feeling sorry for him and wants to come to his rescue to "save" him.
Surely there are events you could get her friends to invite her to that aren't kid-friendly. When she's having fun, you could remind her what a pain it would be to have kids around and not be able to do those things.
2007-01-28 18:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by SayWhat? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's still living in your home....forbid her to see him. If she's out on her own....you'll have to let her learn this lesson on her own. However, she'll still do what she wants to do no matter what. I feel for you, I know it would be hard to sit back and watch, but sometimes that's all you can do. That and pray. You can be there for her, though, when he dumps her and she realizes the truth. She will really need her Mom at that time.
If she's in to meth, you'll never reach her. You need to intervene and help her now. Get the police involved if you have to.
2007-01-28 18:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say this, but ur daughter is naive.
she is still in that rebellious state.
in order for her to see the truth, it will be too late, because then he will have hurt her already.
kick her out of the house and see if she likes it. do not give her money either. lets see how she lives since she id so called an adult.
lets see if he actually wants to live with her.
2007-01-28 18:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by loveithateit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there when she needs you. don't over protect her, you don't give her much credit why? When you were that age how were you anyways its hard you have to let go and allow her to grow up we learn from our mistakes. We as parents want to do everything for them protect them there comes a time were you have to sit on the side not in-FRONT and see the things we have taught them. Listen to her when she needs you other than that allow her to come to you.
2007-01-28 19:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by deezbrats 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything. You have to wait it out. Some lessons must be learned the hard way, because that is the only way to make it through their thick skull.
Sorry you have to witness this fiasco.
2007-01-28 19:21:02 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shoot him right between the legs, that will end any relationship ideas for them two
honestly, i have a daughter, and thats what i would do, or at least let it be know to him that it is what i would do if my daughter were to get hurt
2007-01-28 18:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋