Is there a way to change something about the way someone was brought up? Such as...?

Question

My boyfriend hides his feelings a lot. When he's sad, he doesn't like to show it. And I love him so much, and I'm really the kind of person that likes comforting people. Especially him, I hate seeing him feeling bad about something. I can't tell when he's sad or angry, for the very same reason, because he doesn't show it. He says it's just the way his dad brought him up. He said it's hard for him to show emotions. How can I make him understand that it's healthy to show negative feelings, instead of keeping them stuck within yourself?

Answer 1

His way of keeping emotions inside is a deeply ingrained behavior pattern. In fact, it may have an inherited brain structure component...he was born with that tendency, then ingrained it further in his growing-up years. This means his brain cells have grown together to enable this kind of instinctive, automatic response to emotions...hard-wired.

So "changing" this behavior pattern is not going to be easy as listening to and believing your commonsense advice. Maybe he will always be this way...this is my prediction.

But here's what you and he can do. Get him to "stretch" from time to time and just tell you, someone he loves and trusts, what he's feeling at the moment. The more he does this, the easier it will get. So maybe the best you can hope for is that it gets easier for him to occasionally behave against the grain of his personality.

Is that good enough for you (this question is more important than it may seem at first...)? Another way of putting it is, it's a horrible mistake for a young woman to believe, "I can change him..."

Brendi, Is this helpful?

Answer 2

I spent my whole life trying to change men. It doesn't work. People have to really want to change something within themselves to actually change. I want to change a lot of things about my self and it takes a lot of effort to do it even though I work at it. So what to speak of someone who is fixed on being that way.go to harekrishnatemlple.c Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada to get the whole understanding of human life and real the real psychology of the mind

Answer 3

Find someone who's not the strong silent type, since that's not what you are attracted to. Seriously, women fall for guys based on looks, then immediately try to change them into what they want. Decide what you need from a guy, then find a guy who fits your ideas.
Tell this guy that you're not getting what you need from a relationship with him. Perhaps he'll open up, but it has to be his decision, not yours.

Answer 4

you should read the book with some title like "why women cant read maps" cause it says all guys have the exact same emotion. so it could be just a guy thing...