A question, not an attack...please be open minded or please pass?

Question

I posted a question earlier that evoked angry and disquieting response. I made mention of a personal observation that the accessory of the token black male [of whom I referred to as "the new Prada"] has become a rather prominent trend. I mentioned that I do not view interracial relationships as problematic by any means, but wonder of the nature behind what initiates them. Is it always love, or is it occassionally an "interesting" and "exciting" endeavor to pair with a black man (in respect to white women) or white female (in respect to black men). The race issue in regards to this subject can branch into a billion dynamics, but for this topic, I'm limiting "interracial" to Causcasian women and black men. My question was, does anyone else notice a social pattern of black male acceptance and black female rejection in predominately white circles? Please bear in mind, this is a question, not a bullet. Before retorting, really consider what I'm saying.

I'm not meaning to imply degradation of Black men, nor to suggest --as aforementioned-- that interracial coupling is problematic. My question is geared toward galvanizing an open and mature discussion on an important, albeit uncomfortable, topic. Limited space is provided to explain such a broad issue, so I had to ask twice.

FOR MORE DETAILS ON THIS QUESTION, PLEASE SEE MY PREVIOUS POSTING ON THIS TOPIC BY EXPLORING: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An4qPpASh_Sr5MD_14RjnM3sy6IX?qid=20070128135700AAolwEe

This may clarify some things if this posting seems vague.

As I responded on my earlier post, I posed this question for the sake of curiosity, nothing more. I apologize if it appeared subversive, it was never meant to create offense; yet somehow, it's always the tough questions that hit a nerve. I expected as much, even before submitting a single word. What's ironic is that this, the reinvention of the first question is significantly more PG, and yet to this I received the angriest replies. Although, as Einstein reminds us, it is important to never cease asking questions. Many thanks to those who respected my curiosity. I respect your perspectives, and the perspectives of those who chose not to be so receptive. I understand your anger. It's an uncomfortable subject. Yet understand, too, that what perpetuates problems isn't that people discuss the hard questions, it's that they don't.

It's sometimes hard to fathom things that, at first, seem so simple and grayscale, until their facades are broken down to reveal something hidden and uncomfortably complex. I hope this posting wasn't viewed merely as some backhanded race-bashing session. I hope it stimulated thought and welcomed new perspectives, even if they weren't accepted.

Further, I hope that in the future, if anyone asks intellegent, yes TNB, I said "intelligent" (shaking head), questions, their desire to investigate and learn will be appreciated and respected, not misinterpreted or attacked. Thanks, everyone for your enlightening perspectives. This has been...interesting.

Answer 1

Yes. I see it all the time. somtimes the rejection is quite
subtle. sometimes, when in tense situations, overt.
I don't think anything new. I would liken it to any odd man
or odd woman out situation. same thing in high school with
academics, jocks, pot smokers, rule followers.

Answer 2

I think referring to it as a 'trend' (the 'new Prada') sets a little bit of a tone in your question. Sort of how the media has focused on 'toy dogs' as a new fashion trend. You stated that you observe that it has 'become a rather prominent...', which suggests that perhaps in your local culture Caucasian women and Black men have not long been seen as a regularly occurring relational pairing.

In many places of the world, this is not new and as such, comments such as 'the new Prada' will be considered absurd and offensive. Although I don't take offense to it, I can't see how a relationship between a Caucasian woman and a Black man is anything out of the ordinary. It's like asking why some prefer a Porche to a Ferrari - it's just personal taste.

The chances that a Caucasian woman will form an intimate relationship with a Black man may be on the rise in your area due to a growth in the multi-cultural mix of the population. Perhaps traditional biases and archaic attitudes are fading away, and people are just becoming colour-blind.

Sociologically speaking, I don't think seeing more mixed couples has anything to do with fashion trends.

Answer 3

Well, a couple of things spring to mind.

Firstly (and thankfully) the taboo that was once held with interracial couples is not what it once was and people are more free to explore other races and cultures

To a certain extent, I believe that in the first instance any couple has to have a physical attraction to start with - with love growing from other qualities - therefore, I guess that what some would view as "exotic" spurs a relationship into fruition.

I have dated a black man before, and the initial attraction was indeed physical. I am attracted to black men. In saying that I have also dated a Vietnamese, Pakistani and Lebanese man, and, of course, caucasian men. I tend to view men as men, rather than branded by appearance, however there does need to be an attraction to start with (this does not always equate to a physical attraction, I can be just as intrigued by a man's mind, but for the purpose of your exercise I understand you are looking for a compatability of physical attraction?)

Naturally, people who maintain relationships solely on looks, or what they consider to be "trendy" have short lived relationships, regardless of colour or creed.

Sorry, I tend to have gone right round the houses with this answer, haven't I? To cut a long and boring answer short, Yes, I have noticed a pattern of increased black male acceptance and I'm not too sure about the black female rejection - not being from a country with a heavy black population, I haven't had the chance to take too much note

Answer 4

I believe when you live in a world that's mostly every race for themselves things like interracial relationships are an issue in the eyes of anyone not familiar with it. as for your question I believe the media has much to do with that very subject. from old shows like the Jefferson's where the neighbors were an interracial couple to movies today like save the last dance where a white girl moves into a predominately black area and hooks up with a black guy. socially it's an interesting thing to look at. more common today but not to the point where they stop making movies or corny TV shows.

Answer 5

Frederiche Nietsche stated that the ruling class decides on the rules and create rules and values that mirror their own and degrade values that are not theirs. Very insightful. Whether we like it or not Whites are a part of the ruling class in American society. They decide what is cool, pretty, or what not. (This is not good, just a sociological phenomenon- we have to name it to change it) So this dominant society determines what is good, pretty, and also acceptable gender norms.
So, I wonder if the gender norms for males are more general- strong, decisive, sometimes sensitive, etc. It may be less about appearance and more about characteristics. As for female, it may be more physical- small body, long hair, etc. Also there are characteristics that may equal acceptable femininity- passivity, delicate, sweet, etc. So society may make it more difficult for an African-American female than a male.

Answer 6

I guess you see more black men with white women than vise-versa. I'm not sure as to whether one is more acceptable than the other in this time and age. One theory could be that women are more judgemental and catty than men. Bottom line is if you are in a interracial relationship you need to be strong enough to stand up for what is right and don't let anyone whether it be a friend or family member put your partner down.

Answer 7

I've noticed. As a white female who attends a predominately African American school, it's very easy to notice. Of course color shouldn't matter, but it does in an age group such as mine. Personally, I don't think it does, but others do. I see how the African American males and the white males mostly seem to blend, where it's the females that are the complete opposite. But I think it all comes down to gender. Girls just aren't nice, they don't accept change.

Answer 8

C.V.,
My opinion on the matter is that the black man (and I love them all) is finally getting a chance to sink his teeth into that once elusive "American Pie" and the black woman is just not on the menu. People pretend not to see color, but we know that this is just a facade. How can one "NOT" see color? To the vast majority of our society, the white woman (or man) epitomizes the American Dream. For a lot of black men, being with a white woman makes them feel one step closer to achieving that dream. Unfortunate, but true.

Answer 9

Why do you keep asking this question? Do you intend to keep on doing it until you get an answer you like? This is a sign of insanity - repeating something over and over, hoping to get a different result.

Or are you just trying to stir up trouble?

Answer 10

Yes