my wife and i have been together for 12 years and she just told me shes cheated on me 3 times. she blames it on being young and claims she just did it with no thought. i just dont know what to do or beileve could she do it again? will she? oh we have 4 children!any info would be appreciated.
2007-01-28 09:29:28 · 11 answers · asked by ARTHUR A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if she was young when it happened, and it happened like ten years ago, and she's only just telling you about it now, you can be sure this has weighed on her soul all these years, and she just couldn't take it anymore. With this type of regret, I don't think she'll ever do it again. When you're young, it's easy to fall prey to a kind word said at just the right time, when she's feeling vulnerable.
See, women do not have sex for the hell of it, or because the guy is goodlooking or has money, or even because you're out of town or something. A woman has sex mostly because this is the best way to feel loved by a man. This is a deep emotional need that does not abide by the rules of marriage, or society. Everyone needs to feel loved, and if they don't, they will be increasingly unhappy until they do. I suggest you go and buy a book called "the five love languages" by Gary Chapman. I bought it and read the whole thing in one sitting. And if my man had more than a 5 minute attention span, or was capable at all of learning anything, or even had the desire to make things better, it would fix all our problems. But he can't read a book, and I don't have the patience to read it to him. But you seem genuine in wanting to understand, and if you can spare a couple hours, this has the info you need to make sure your wife never leaves your side again. And it's not a bunch of mumbo jumbo that make good points but give you nothing to work with. You won't be disappointed. Good luck!
2007-01-28 09:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO !! There is no acceptable reason to cheat, never !!! Age has nothing to do with it. Whether you are 18 or 48 you know the difference between right and wrong and what trust and faithfulness mean in a marriage. If she has cheated on you 3 times, there is nothing to stop her from doing it again. Why has she come clean about it now ?? I would have a hard time believing or trusting her again. Best of luck to you and your children.
2007-01-28 11:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like an excuse than a reason.
Let me be clear, there are NO good reasons to cheat.
Let me ask you this in another way, is there a good reason to break your promise to the person who you've pledged to be a lifetime partner, the person who you've decided you should treat the best in the whole wide world?
If the person whom you've promised to treat the best is one whom you cheat upon, then what does that say about the cheater?
Not much.
I don't have a crystal ball, so I can't tell you if she will do it again. It would certainly be difficult to trust her.
However, one thing on her side is that she has shared this information with you. So perhaps she sees the error of her ways.
I pray you well, regardless how you decide to handle this new information.
2007-01-28 10:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we do not think before we act but more then once is wrong!! if she said it like that then she must not care because i cheated on my boyfriend once(but i didnt have sex) and i had to apologize...i still tell him to this day that im sorry for any pain that i caused him and this was 3 years ago NOBODY deserves to be cheated on and i only did it because he did it too but i still regret my actions more than anything...if shes not sorry about it then she doesnt care but that saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is not true...i cheated once and i will never cheat again! but do what you feel is right and i hope everything goes better for you
2007-01-28 09:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by jessica p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is no excuse to cheat on your husband or wife. if you really loved someone you wouldnt cheat. my advice to you is to do what you feel in your heart. once a cheater always a cheater. i dont know if i could trust her if i were you. im so sorry that this happened to you. good luck with your choice.
2007-01-28 09:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Exotic Pink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she did it once she'll do it again! They look for any one to blame! You should tell her to make up her mind and stick to it or
you and the kids are gone! I would suggest filing for a divorce
before she has papers served to you.
2007-01-28 09:39:05 · answer #6 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not at all there is never any reason to ever cheat or be unfaithful to your spouse and marriage... No excuse at all for it!
2007-01-28 09:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one has a reason for cheating young or old thats an excuse and its disrespectable
2007-02-01 03:32:21 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good luck on that one, if she did it because she gave it no thought, what does that tell you, there is a big message in this I do hope you get it and deal with it now
2007-01-28 09:38:54 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. especially if you have 4 kids.
2007-01-28 09:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by .Frequently♥Dazzled. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋