I am with someone right now living with him and we are happy at where we are right now. We have been together for 3 years. I still get why dont u get married..or when..Like marriage is going to save me if we fall apart or something. My mom thinks any man that doesnt marry you doesnt want you. Why? Cant ppl be happy living together and never marry? Not that I dont wnt to marry just im not wanting to rush into it.
2007-01-28 09:05:12 · 23 answers · asked by Hikingfan27 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Consider yourself lucky and quit complaining. Some women go their whole lives without anyone asking.
2007-01-28 09:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
After 3 years that isn't rushing into it. That is fear of commitment. Many people consider living together wrong. The idea of living together without marriage is a convenience from the 60s. It was an act of rebellion against social standards, but it is typically immoral in the eyes of most people(read: sin). It shows absolutely no moral character to live together. You pretty much show you don't care enough about each other not to make it official. Marriage also has other benefits which you don't have now. Like, later on part of each others retirement benefits, health care benefits only open to married couples, tax breaks, etc. Most of all marriage is considered a sacred institution and you are flaunting your contempt for marriage in the faces of others, but WTH what do you care for the feelings of others who love you?
2007-01-28 09:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should do whatever is best for you. I know lots of people who just live together without getting married. It works for them, but then they both agree on it. Some men don't want that though. They want to start a family. They want you to make a commitment. It's not fair to them if you just hang in there. It will seem to them that you are just waiting around for someone better to come along. It's a rejection. If they aren't on the same page as you, then you need to move on. Mom is both wrong and right. Same as you, some just don't want to get married. They want the relationship, just not the commitment, where some (most) women want that ring. What ever floats your boat.
2007-02-05 04:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well people look at it like you are shacking up. And it is only out of respect to marry. If you are living with someone that loves you enough to want to marry you why would you not want to? You are doing everything like a married woman. Some say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. " If you are not sure then why are you living with him? I think your mother is right to be concerned. It sounds like you may be affraid to make a solid commentment or that you want to stay single in case something better comes along. Either way its wrong.
2007-01-28 09:18:08 · answer #4 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is never get married until there is a bun in the oven.
Who are you trying to please by getting married? The Church? Some priest who gets his jollies giving you sex advice when the only sex he has had is with alterboys, or are you seeking the blessings of the state? Well we know what American presidents get up to.
Marriage gives you no real protection over non married, and can make breakups tedious and expensive. Not to mention it is easier to explain away 23 boyfriends than 23 husbands.
Marriage does however help the children coz it makes them feel part of an entity.
2007-02-04 22:51:46 · answer #5 · answered by amazed_lab_rat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying that after being with a man for two years now it is time for a marriage. But you are right to not rush into anything.
2007-01-28 09:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok mom is a little right but I can see if you all were going threw things that just made you all say wait a little while that is understandable.but a man that wait to long don't that make you wonder that when you all get older thatwhat it really be like to just have a man that you been with forever and never got married.Now taking it to the bible you will not make into heaven just sleepng with this men or even shacking up.So why not make your mom proud and ask him when he think it will be the right time to get married.just to know his future in what he wants to do.
2007-01-28 09:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by weeping eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay "Oprah", I think if that man ask you to marry him you would in a heartbeat....put yourself in your moms shoes....you wouldn't want your daughter to just live with someone year after year and he gets all the benefits of having a wife without making it legal. God forbid something happens to him you will get no benefit, not that that is your main goal. Look at it like this....A man will go out and get a hunting license.......a fishing license......and a license to own a gun.......this is something he takes pride in......don't you think you deserve better than the fish, animals and the gun?
2007-01-28 09:17:59 · answer #8 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only you and him know what makes you happy. Same thing happened to me, my answer always was when I'm ready. Sometimes I just came up with off the wall answers like "soon as he moves his other girlfriend out"! That usually ended the conversation!! As far as your mother, she is just being a mother.
2007-02-05 09:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by hillleej 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People just assume things like this. It is better to live together and be happy than to get married and screw things up!
2007-01-28 09:09:26 · answer #10 · answered by Hammer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is anything wrong with just living together, exchanging rings, having a party, calling it a reception and taking a vacation and calling it a honeymoon. I think people forget how expensive divorce is.
2007-01-28 09:10:49 · answer #11 · answered by nyckib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋