how do i gain more confidence?

Question

i'm a pretty small girl.. and when ever somebody confronts me about something, or yells at me, i just take it because i get speechless and don't know what to say back. and then later on, i say to myself, "i should of said that!" i think i just get scared?

how can i gain more confidence and be able to fight back?

Answer 1

That's tough.
I'm in my twenties and not sure I've licked that. My brother who is about the same age is the same way also. A lot of people are. Sometimes when you're talking to jerks- I'm not sure there is a good thing to say- and it may not matter. You have to walk away from some people. I think it is important to develop your boundaries....and stick up for yourself.
The heart of developing boundaries is to grow to believe that you are a valuable person- and people do not have the right to hurt you verbally. So you could develop a few simple phrases like, "Why are you such a jerk"? "Is it hard to be such a jerk"? Maybe develop like 3-4 phrases that you can use if someone does say something.
When I was a senior in high school I actually stopped a guy who was on my soccer team who was mean to me. I told him that he said things that were mean to me and that it wasn't nice. He actually apologized and said he was immature. I've had to grow to learn to have a lot of these kind of conversations. I tell people all the time when people hurt my feelings. Usually people tell me their sorry- and I feel better. It's a process.

Answer 2

Your physical size has little to do with your confidence. Some of the ******** women I know are tiny. You just need to practice. Do you take speech and debate at school? It is good for practice. A lot of confidence is acquired with age so just refuse to be anyone's doormat.

Answer 3

confidence comes from success and acheiving, so once u confront someone u don't think u could confront or approach someone u didn't think u could approach, u feel more confident. so u can't just be thinking of what to do, u have to back it up with an action, then u'll feel more confident each time u do something u u didn't think u could do, and then it'll just become second nature.

so next time think about what i said and stand up for yourself, and u'll start to enjoy life more

Answer 4

I want you to stand tall and smile - however fighting back can make you feel terrible afterward. Sticking up for yourself doesn't mean you need to debate any issue with people who are rude and disrespectful. If you have something to say - say it because you know it's right - other wise let the loud know it alls run their mouths - remember actions speak louder then words!

Answer 5

Do onto others as they do onto you...I was like you, and don't know your age, but, as you grow older, and I'm in my early 40's, you become wiser, and less scared of things...you learn of life and how precious it is....and when people mistreat you...all you need to do is say, I'm not listening to anything negative...walk away...never get aggressive or physical...because, when someone talks at you, and it scares you, believe me, they are more scared than you...anger is fear in the hiding....and fear is natural...it's always just better to walk away...find something you love to do, help others, volunteer, helping others is the biggest confidence booster around...it not only helps you, but also others...