Had an affair...?

Question

My dad had an affair eight years ago with my auntie. My parents are still together now. My dad doesn't know that I know...

What the hell do I do?

Answer 1

It was eight years ago. Your mother has long forgiven him. Let it go.

Answer 2

Absolutely nothing, this is between your parents, it is over and they have dealt with it. Don't go raking up the past they have found a way to carry on being together if you bring it up again it could cause problems resulting in them breaking up. Your Dad's affair has absolutely no bearing on his love for you and 8 years ago things may have been totally different in your family circumstances, it doesn't mean he will have another affair after all this time. Trust your Mum - if she can forgive him then you can forget you ever knew. They are trying to save your family from heartache. Please, whatever you do, don't mention it to either of your parents. Forget about it and concentrate on having a good life yourself. I don't know your age, but doubtless soon you will have a relationship of your own to worry about!

Answer 3

Why do you have to do anything? In time you may feel the need to tell your dad(discreetly!) that you know about the affair, but there is no point in bringing it up itherwise(only to make your feelings known and for your peace of mind) It is possable that your mum knows(or always knew) about it anyway and has chosen to forgive and stay together for whatever reason.From what ive heard the wife often does know and chooses to put it to the back of her mind and try and get on with the marriage.

Answer 4

You do nothing it would make your dad feel so ashamed of himself.Remember dads are suppose to be every-ones protector Now the auntie on the other hand she needs to be put in her place.I have always put most of the blame on the women because she gives off signals that she wants him. If you tell a man to get lost he won't waste his time he will just move on to the next one.I would let her no how much she has hurt this family and you are ashamed of her.

Answer 5

I'm certain that your mom is probably aware of this also and forgiven your dad for his indiscretions. Best if you just put it to rest and trust that your dad and mom are happy again and trying their best to make their marriage a happy one. It was eight years ago and sometimes people do things that they regret later and hopefully this is where you dad is on the subject. Do not blow it out of proportion as you don't need to open up old scars.

Answer 6

That's a tidy bit of info to be party to. But keep it to yourself and my reasoning for this is follows.
1. What good would it do do bring it out in the open - probably none whatsoever at this time.
2.Save it for a rainy day is another way to look it - you never know it could save your skin someday - don't know how but !
3. Think very hard before you say anything to anyone because once it comes out there will be no going back.

Good luck RTC

Answer 7

Nothing at the end of the day your parents are grown ups and not answerable to you for their actions. As long as you were never asked to cover up this affair, then you have to let it go. Your mum has forgiven him. You don't have to, but you do have to move on from the situation.

Answer 8

While his actions at the time were certainly not honorable, eight years is a long time and what it all boils down to is that in this matter he is accountable to your mom only. She's the one who was betrayed, so it should be her decision, and hers alone, over what to do about it.
Marital dynamics are very, very complex. You have to be in them to understand the delicate nature of the bond, so for anyone to say that so and so should be doing this better or that better is way out of line.
Has he been a good father to you? That's the only thing for which he should be accountable to you.

Answer 9

There is nothing you can really do, however, honestly it will always haunt you a little but it's something you just push aside and realize that your father is human just like everyone else and will make mistakes.

I suggest you just let it go and try your best to forget about it.

Answer 10

There's nothing you can do I'm afraid, it's your parents business honey, not yours....although I can understand that this situation of knowing must be really quite hard for you to handle....you have to leave it alone though. don't drag up what your mother has left alone now...she'll deal with it the way she feels fit if she hasn't already that is.
But! when you get married don't put up with sh*t like that in your life.

Answer 11

Realize one major thing; our parents are human, and make mistakes. Talk to your father, and let him know that you know. Let him know that you are profoundly disappointed in him, and your trust in men has been badly shaken. And then do the most difficult thing in this whole situation: forgive him. I suspect that your mother may know, and has forgiven--but not forgotten--the incident. You may need counseling to deal with this, as well. Good luck and God bless.