Straight people for some reason think that being gay is a choice. I've come out to 2 of my "friends" and one of them didn't yell at me or hate me but they didn't talk to me anymore except on a professional level like "what's the homework for tonight" things and anyway, when i told this person they said that it was a choice but ITS NOT! They think that one day I woke up and said "I want to be gay!" and then I was gay. It doesn't happen like that! Did they wake up one day and say "I want to be straight!" No! They think we can change, but we can't! I've tried! I tried for years, it didn't work! Why do people think it's a choice?
2007-01-28 08:30:28 · 18 answers · asked by stfan95 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am not sure why some people believe it's a choice. All I have to say to them is why would someone choose to live a lifestyle where we don't have equal rights and get discriminated against.
2007-01-28 08:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by Scully 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's this basic question that forces most evangelical Christians to INSIST that being gay is a choice.
Because if it is NOT a choice, then one of three things would have to be true:
- God is OK with gay people, despite what the Bible says
- God is cruel in creating something he hates
- God doesn't exist
Using "Bible logic," being gay MUST be a choice, because all the other options are taken by evangelical Christians as obviously untrue.
No amount of science on the topic of homosexuality will shift this belief for these people, either. Even when science eventually conclusively proves homosexuality is inborn, they will deny it and call it junk science and/or secular lies.
Why? Because the alternative would be to stop hating and actually start loving (in the Christian sense) gay people, and that would make their little worlds would come tumbling down around them.
Another point to remember is that hating gay people or distancing oneself from gay people IS a choice. So is continuing to remain friends with a person after they come out.
In the case of the friend who distanced himself from you, while I know it's hard to take (it has happened to me many times too), try to think of it as discovering that this friend was not TRULY a friend.
I've come to realize that being gay is an EXCELLENT screening device for sorting out false friends from true friends. I hope you come to see it that way too.
A true friend accepts you for who you actually are, not who they think you are.
2007-01-28 17:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They just don't get it, then again they may be to chicken to do research and grow. I used to not agree with people being gay either until I got to know some and they are in general a lot nicer, kinder, sweeter and a hell of a lot more understanding than my some of my other straight friends (yes I'm straight). I know that being gay isn't a choice and it sure as hell isn't the whole of who you are, it is a very small fraction of who you are just like being straight is a very small fraction of who I am or any other straight person is.
2007-01-28 17:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should point out that if you had to make a choice in life, you probably wouldn't make one that would ostracize you from society and cause you grief from friends and family.
I teach English in an Italian high school and I mentioned that people are born gay, and my students all disagreed with me, saying it's a choice.
It makes me sad to see that in 2007 there still exists such widespread ignorance.
Another thing: they're also the same people who say I choose to be depressed. Of course, because it's so much friggin' fun.
2007-01-29 05:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason they think its a choice is because they cannot accept that there is a wide and diverse world out there....Most people are stuck on there being a 2 sex society MALE and FEMALE...And that you choose to be gay or lesbian...It is no more of a choice to be gay than it is to be straight...
2007-01-29 01:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stfan 95, i hold your same thoughts!!!
We do not wake up one day and decide let's be straight or let's be gay.
We all want to be happy in life. Most people find that happiness in those of the opposite sex. Some find it in those of the same sex. What it comes down to is that we are ultimately happy and content in life.
Dont try to change who you are just because one of your friends is being a prick. You live out your life the way you want. Do whatever makes you happy, and if your friends don't like that, well, they are not really being friends are they?
2007-01-28 17:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by MrRomeo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well to me the so called straight people are narrow minded and seem to think we are like germs that we spread if they hang around us. If indeed they were real friends that would not have bothered them a bit.There best advice you can get is be true to you and if they want to be you friend then so be it and dont worry about the small stuff life is to short that. Enjoy and move ahead
2007-01-28 17:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They only see the outward behavior. They don't comprehend the drive behind it or the attraction. They think it's all about the sex, the part they see. Maybe the majority of people are "wired" in a way that keeps them from understanding, a kind of natural set of blinders, and that's what makes it so frustrating to try to explain it to them. If it was only the physical activity, sure, we could choose to do things "their" way. But it's not.
In the same way, the sight or idea of gay sex and affection makes them uncomfortable. Many of them don't give a hoot about us or our happiness, they just want us to stop doing things that make THEM uncomfortable.
2007-01-28 16:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are many trials you have to go through in life to discover who your real friends are and this is one of them. There will be people who disappoint you when you did not expect it and yet others will delightfully surprise you when you come out to them.
Be proud of who you are no matter what the ignorant believe.
2007-01-28 18:40:37 · answer #9 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like to think it's a choice, because it's easier to hate people who make bad choices, but if a person is born a certain way, then they feel guilty making fun of them.
"It's a choice" is what homophobes say to make themselves feel better about bashing gays!
2007-01-28 16:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by Yuka 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋