Lonely, kids gone to college and they have been my life, raised them myself, How do I shake this feeling?

Question

How do I shake the feeling of being all of a sudden lonely, scared, bored ect...have twins that left for college and it's only been the three of us since they were one. And don't tell me to get a life...I work very hard, so they can, and I'm soo happy they love college and are making something of themselves....but, I can't shake the feeling of loneliness, even though I have my pets, I'm scared at night, and can't sleep and tried doing things with friends, and it helps, even we go see our kids at college, but, I live for the days I get to see them, count the days, but, I know this isn't normal...I know, I need a man...but, can't find one that is right...and I'm a loner so I thought...help me..any advice...also, tried the meds, doesn't help. so any other advice

Answer 1

Maybe you could take a few college classes at night which would make you feel good about yourself plus it would probalby make your kids be proud of you too. Another suggestion is become a mentor. Just like you are lonely and bored there are also alot of good kids out there that feel just the same way and need someone like you to keep them on the right track. It is kind of like having anogther kid but without having to take care of them 24/7 and since the kids that they hook you up with really are in need of good guidance you can really see the fruits of what you teach them. You could change some kids life from maybe ending up as a jail bird to someone who ends up going to college and becoming a great surgeon or something who knows even maybe the president of the US and it will all be because of your good guidance. Think about it. You could try it and if you didnt like it you arent forced to stick with it but I have a feeling you will. And by the time you finish mentoring a kid you will probably be a grandma and then for sure you will be kept busy. I am real close to my boys and it was just us three too until they got married. They are 28 and 31 and I still think of them as my babies and get excited when I see them . Maybe this will make you feel better and help you so you wont feel so afraid. . I moved to Tijuana Mex. with my old man 12 years ago so we could watch over his mother who is 90 years old. He works 6 days a week nights and sleeps all day. almost 5 months ago the federal police drove up while he was washing our car and they kidnapped him then about an hour later called asking for 3,000 dlls. By then I had reported him kidnapped and this pissed off the cops and they came up with a story that he had weed on him and what is crazy the amount that they say he had and it was supposed to be in his pant pocket . He would of had to of had some pretty giant pants to have pockets big enough to hold all that. ANyway he is still in jail and I am all alone at night and am in the process of getting the cops arrested for the crimes they commited. It should be over soon and my old man out but in the mean time I have been threatened by them trying to get me to stop the case against them . I put up a security camera and put a sign by it saying to smile because they are on the web. Being scared and not sleeping isnt going to stop anything from happening if something were to happen. Trust me I lay down at night and am snoring within minutes. I even keep my back , well side door open because that is how my dogs come in and out. I keep real busy . You dont need a man unless you really want one. My mother decided that she would rather live alone and go out every now and then because trying to find a man who isnt a royal pain in the butt is pretty hard. Now is the time for you to do any crazy things that you might of wanted to do but couldnt because you had the kids there. What you are going thru is very normal . Just think now you dont even have to put a robe on when you get up and if you feel the urge can even run around the house nude. I prefer not to have alot of friends because they usually end up depressing me or becoming royal pains. If your boys see that you are unhappy it is going to make it hard for them to concentrate on studing . Make them proud and show them you are doing just great.

Answer 2

I don't think it's just that you're lonely -- you simply aren't feeling "needed" the way you were when the children were young.

Volunteering is a way to meet people and do something constructive. Your options are going to depend on the needs in your community, but check them out.

Also, were there hobbies or interests you set aside in order to get your kids off to the best start? Perhaps you could see if those things still interest you. You might be able to pick up where you left off.

Adult ed is another option. You meet people, you can enhance skills relating to your job or a job you're striving for, or just take a class for fun.

And since you're answering questions on Yahoo, check out different categories of interest, look for good questions needing good answers from a "good listener" like you.

Good luck and give it time.

Answer 3

You're experiencing "empty nest syndrome." It's totally normal. My mom sent my sister and I care packages all the time when we left home. You can't shake the feeling by doing just one thing. You've spent pretty much every day with the same two people, and when they leave it's almost like a mourning period. Not to sound trite, but over time, the feeling will lessen. Just keep in contact with them and try to enjoy everything you do on a daily basis.

Answer 4

You can talk to me(=