At the edge of the universe
there is no life, no people,
but there is a sense of humility,
it's humbling, and sad
The edge of the universe,
Is where I was born,
Where I live,
And where I will die
I am the edge of the universe
And I will swallow you whole,
and spit you out,
away from your mother and father,
brothers and sisters,
everyone
But when you look back,
at where you came from,
and what you've left behind
You will smile, and welcome the darkness
2007-01-28 08:25:54 · 4 answers · asked by Mars 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Overall, I liked it. There are a few words and lines here and there that could use a great deal of polishing, i.e.- "i am the edge of the universe" and "and I will swallow you whole" are two examples of lines that just don't seem to flow very well. Read it aloud and see what you can come up with for revisions. Just remember, it's YOUR poem, so it's up to you whether you choose to take my advice or anyone elses'.
2007-01-28 08:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by Kiara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda like your poem,how about a little hope for us next time.
Thanks
2007-01-28 08:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lionman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very nice.
2007-01-28 08:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it...
2007-01-28 13:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by iluvfranknfurter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋