I'm 20 years old and I'm afraid that I may be starting to become infertile. My cousin could not have any children after the age of 18, my aunt couldn't after the age of 20, and my mother couldn't after the age of 22...each only had 1 child. I'm more obese, definatly unhealthier, and more likely to become infertile than my family ever was at my age. My biggest dream in my life is to someday have a baby...just one...that's all I'm asking for. Now I'm a virgin (I know, 20 and a virgin...) and I don't have a boyfriend. I don't care about having a boyfriend right this minute, but even though I've wanted a baby since I was 12...and I was smart enough to stay a virgin so I wouldn't get preggers in high school, I feel that my biological clock is ticking very loudly, and I feel that I should try my hardest to get pregnant ASAP. I graduated high school, and I don't have a job right now (but might soon). I'm not doing this for attention, either. Any advice?
2007-01-28 08:16:49 · 20 answers · asked by cranberry_spider 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Also, a little over a year ago, I was raped and got pregnant as a result of that rape. I made it to 7wks and miscarried...so I also heard that you have a harder time getting pregnant after having a miscarraige...
2007-01-28 08:20:11 · update #1
Honey, it wouldn't matter if you are looking for attention, that's what this site is for, to get MY attention as well as thousands of others! I had your mentality at your age. I had always only wanted to be a MOM. I also was raped. I also had miscariages. (2) I am here to testify, the miscariages had NOTHING to do with fertility! I have 5 wonderful children! (Ages 4-19) Being a mom is awsome to me! I wish I hadn't made some of the normal mistakes with my kids and getting married so young but I don't EVER regret having any of my kids. What a blessing! I would suggest that you visit your gyn for a health check. That MD should get all your family medical history as well as yours. Be honest with 'em too so you will get a good honest answer in return. The MD is not there to judge you either. They hear it all. Don't even try to get pg until you have a good job. Try the daycares around you. I worked as a preschool teacher and loved it! I feel you would love that job as well. Good luck!
2007-01-28 08:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can understand your feelings but I think you might want to consider a few options.
There's no guarantee that you are infertile at this point it is only a possibility, right? You aren't in any position to have a child right now anyways...though it is possible to raise a child without a father it is not the best way. You haven't even gotten started on a career yet, this is so not the time to be worrying about having a child. I know you feel pressured by the lingering possibility that you may be running against time to conceive, but what if that isn't the case at all? I say wait, get your life going, your career and a marriage and then try. If you can't conceive, there are a lot of children out there who are waiting to be adopted, new borns, infants, toddlers, all age kids. Kid's that didn't ask to be brought into this world who are all alone and without a mom or a dad! You could adopt a couple of them and start a new legacy in your family.
Consider your options.
Best of luck to you!
2007-01-28 16:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are only 20 years old. You need to be able to support a baby by having a job that supports the both of you. The best situation is to wait to have kids until you are in a secure and loving marriage.
You don't know if you will become infertile soon or not. There are plenty of women in their 40's that become pregnant. You could see an infertility doctor, but the doctors won't start doing infertility tests until you have been trying with your husband for over a year for women under 35 and trying for 6 months for women 35 and older.
Yes, you can consider yourself a virgin. You were raped and this does not count as losing your virginity in my opinion. The other people who say you are not a virgin due to being raped are being rude and insensitive to the rape. I hope you went through counseling to deal with the issue of the rape and miscarriage. If not, you should seek counseling for dealing with these.
2007-01-28 17:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by raindrop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I get that feeling a lot. But I also think it's important to create an atmosphere that is nurturing for a child first. This would include: a good home with parent(s) who are financially and emotionally stable. If you want to be a good mother, finish being a young person first. Get some secondary education and experience. Without a job or education, being a good mother is a distant dream. Get a healthy lifestyle, your fertility will improve if you are exercising and eating right.
These are things that you pass on to your child and you will be a better and wiser mother for it.
Also, getting pregnant is NO blast. The first time I was pregnant, I had horrible sickness, I was drained of energy and bitchy to everyone around me. While this may not be a problem for you, consider this: there are plenty of children without a home. Adopting an unwanted child is very rewarding and just as fulfilling as having your own biologically.
2007-01-28 16:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am confuse I understand being rape (so sorry about that hope the bastard is in jail for life) but since you were preg that probably no longer made you a virgin,
if you truly want to become pregnant now do you think that you can find a friend that will let you use his sprem
you can do a IUI the cost is very low $300 +
but if you have no insurance and their is test like blood test & Ultra sound that might cause the cause to run higher
IUI is the cheapest way to go maybe your mom might help
Goodluck
2007-01-28 19:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, lets get this all straight... you are 20, you are obese, no job, no husband, always wanted a child, got raped and got preg. and lost the child... but you say you are a virgin???...... so it sounds like you need to get yourself healthy and happy....FIRST!!! pregnancy takes a lot out of you and if you are heavy and unhealthy and have the possibility of loosing the child during pregnancy.. you are just setting yourself up for failure and heartache!!!!
Go to a Doctor, get yourself in shape, get a job and do this family raising thing right, with a good husband that will provide for you and your family. Getting yourself healthy might prolong the chances of becoming pregnant.
Personally, as a tax payer and one of those people who believe in FAMILY FIRST... and tired of seeing mothers on welfare, trying to raise children by themselves...I am against you getting pregnant just because its what you want.... what is in it for your child.
you need to be healthy to be a mom,,,, it isn't easy and besides, you are going to want to see your child grow up and have a family of his or her own too.....
2007-01-28 16:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by sushihen2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now it seems like you're not ready for a baby. Don't have it just because you think you will not be able to have one later. The day you decide to have a baby, it would be better to have a steady relationship, a job and everything worked out. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-01-28 17:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Meche 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to live your life before bringing another life into this world!!! trust me on this! I am 25 and my son will be 8 in May. I have missed out on a lot!
If later in life you have a husband you love and you just cant have children then adopt. there are plenty of children out there without families
2007-01-28 16:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by wantme_comegetme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
You should first get a job, and make sure that you have money to pay for everything, and should you become infertile but you are wanting a baby, adopt one, thats what baby adoption is for.
2007-01-28 16:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try artificial insemination. However it's very pricy. You would have to get sperm from a sperm bank.
I would find a job before you apply, most places look to see if you are capable of raising a child.
I wish you the best of luck! :)
2007-01-28 16:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by Mindy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋