out even if we just hold hands i dont know what to do me and her were laying down he came in and wouldnt let us lay togetheroh hes 9 yrs old
2007-01-28 07:46:35 · 13 answers · asked by Tim B 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well that's a great question. As a mother of a younger son, I would suggest that she, your 'friend', communicates with her son about the fact that she is an adult and has the right to find companionship, however, she needs to put his feelings first and foremost in this situation, because you may not be in their lives for the long haul, so why cheat a precious little 9 yr. old out of time he could have been spending with mommy, instead of her being so selfish and openly lying around with you when he is present? What kind of messages are you two sending him? I think you need to seriously ask yourself if you want to be daddy number 2......if not, then go away....
2007-01-28 07:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you really have to do some seriouse thinking about what goes along with dating someone with a child. They come as a package. No if's, and or but's abut it. So are you seriously considering having a long term relationship or evern marriage with this woman. Because having a relationship with her also means developing a bond and relationship with the child; and at nine years old that going to take a lot of consistancy and persistance on your part. As far as the little boy is concerned, you just might be another leaf blowing by in the wind and he (from his prospective he has to gaurd his relationship with his mother- she is probably all he has and he damn sure is not going to let you interfere)
So you have to sit down with his mother and have a serious talk about your relationship and how you will help this little boy feel safe about his relationship with his mother and accept you (that take trust and you haven't earned it from him)
If you don't see yourself in a long term relationship or marriage with this woman and your not willing to make the effort it will take to develope a healthy relationship with her son; starting this knowing if you leave the child will be hurt; then you shouldnot involve your self with her and move on. There are plenty of women out there without the baggage of a child.
Besides, if this is a casual relationship to her, she has absolutely no business even introducing you to her son much less being affectionate or more in front of the boy . Children need stablity, not fly by not boyfriends who are in and out of their mothers life.
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!
2007-01-28 08:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not mention how long have you been going out with this woman? But, I will try to answer your question, first of all her son, has every reason to be jealous of you, because he, has had his Mom for his nine yrs. of life, and it's natural for him, not to want you in the picture, if you get what I mean. When a man gets interested in a woman, and wants to form a relationship with her, and it involves kids, it is the man's step to try and be friends with in this case the son, try to win him to your side, and include him in any outing you and his Mother have planned, if possible. and I am sure that with time he will see you not as an intruder, between him and his Mother but, as someone that belongs with them both. Good luck and I hope you have every intention of staying with this woman for the sake of her son.
2007-01-28 08:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that you pose a threat to this 9 yr old. If he has been on his own with his mom for a long time he will resent anyone who "tries to take his mom away from him" If you are crazy about her, you have to accept that you will have a boy in your life as well, and you'd better be damn crazy about him too. Include him in all your activities with his mom. Do family things. Pay more atention to him than you do to her. Be silly, playful, have fun. I was a single mom of 4 kids, and the guy I went for was the one who played with the kids and acted silly around them. They loved him before I did. You have to win him over first! and please don't make out in front of him, wait until he is asleep or you guys are alone. Take your time, if you are serious about her, be serious about him, and it will pay off.
2007-01-28 07:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by crzygal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be youeself and not move too quickly. Get to know her and her son platoically first, then maybe the romance part will work, and things will be a little better between all of you, don't rush it. Let her love you for who you are as a person first!
2007-01-28 07:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by kristina_tx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello , i'm right here to attempt which could help you ! ladies continually replace there thoughts for adult adult males yet in case you adult adult males are extremely close she would like you . You under no circumstances recognize , she would same to being acquaintances so pay attention of that. bypass out with some guy acquaintances or do some thing you have a good time with to get her off your ideas. in case you nonetheless can't get her off your ideas , imagine that day after today is a clean day and it is an additional desirable day in the route of seeing this alluring lady. believe me , you received't sound like a stalker on textual content. only commence off with a common hello or what's up. as quickly because it receives to those awkward moments even as or if she would not reply , raise some thing she likes or the vacation. in case you adult adult males are close , in case you wanna deliver it as a lot because the subsequent factor , you should bypass to love a dance or the films jointly with her first nd even as the dates is achieved ask " ought to you go with to be my girlfriend " , because no one will be round. If she says no , do not trouble about it because you could continually use flirting and verify out again. i wish this helped and if to good luck jointly with her and merry Christmas / satisfied Hanukkah .
2016-10-16 05:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by jesteriii 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go slower. having your mom laying down with another guy or holding hands with another guy other than their father s very strange for them. just try to make friends with the boy and then he may let you be bf/gf with his mom
2007-01-28 07:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by amelia71895 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the kid is very protective. If you can be patient, he'll come around. Just try not to take it out on her, she will always be his mother, and the kids usually are priority to a point.
2007-01-28 07:52:39 · answer #8 · answered by snowbody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer.
Take him out for ice cream. Play baseball. Get the kid to like you, and then the mother will love you even more.
2007-01-28 07:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's used to having mom to himself. It may take years for him to get over that. If you and mom work together, you can make him understand that your not taking mom away,but that you want to be a family with him included.
2007-01-28 07:53:11 · answer #10 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋