recently i posted a question about what i should do about my ex- husband cheating on me? Well i just found out last week that his girlfriend is only 19 years old not 20 . she won't even be 20 until next year sick isn't it? that means she was in first grade when my first daughter was born we have to children together and i don't want my children to have any thing to do with this girl is that normal? my ex is 31 years old and it is creepy to know that he is dating a child. they have been toghether for two months now. I accidentally found he has a my space account and she is in his profile they started dating her on november 1 and on november 19 he told her that he loved her, how can he even know what love is when he was in a relationship for the last 10 years with me there is no way possible that he loves her. when i found out that he told her that he loved her i had a hard time to dealing with it . Is there any one out there that can give me some advice?
2007-01-28 07:38:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are still married just separated we were together when he cheated this just happened two months ago
2007-01-28 07:47:42 · update #1
He's not in love. He's in lust.
2007-01-28 08:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I hope that he knows what love is. Just because you were in a 10 year relationship with him doesn't mean that he doesn't know. I assume there was some love in your relationship.
The age difference is shocking and creepy for you because she is close to your daughters age. And she is a lot younger than you. That's tough to compete with too. She's not even old enough to have a beer, yet you two have been together 10 years and have a child together. You have been through a lot more in your relationship than she has been through in your life.
Is he a cheating spouse, or an ex-husband? If he's an ex, I would just let it go and forget about him. If he's your spouse, then you should really put your foot down and have him stop seeing her.
2007-01-28 16:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband (14 years)- at the time - did that to a 19 year old girl too! She didn't even know his real name and my son and I were dead and my daughter didn't even exist! It is sick, but you are his ex now and unless he has been trying to manipulate you back into his life and you are falling for it, think about it... does it matter? You can't control him in any aspect. You can only control you. That means you must find your happiness without him! Believe me! It is much better with my ex NOT in my life lying and cheating and me worried and wondering all the time! Not only that - you are always the one blamed in his eyes - though it isn't true. He will have his upcomings and you have your children to consider. What they live, they learn. Get faith in a higher power and strength within yourself to heal and move on.
Read the following books:
When Your Lover is a Liar
Women Who Love Too Much
Codependency No More
2007-01-28 15:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by mhford 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there sure is an age difference there and most men find it a challenge to find a younger woman, it makes them feel like they still have it. He wasn't right in what he did. If he wanted her he should have ended his marriage first and not cheat. It's normal to not want your children to have anything to do with this girl. You are hurt and angry right now. The girl should have known better to even get involved with a married man in the first place . Your better off without a guy like that in your life. My advice is to get a good lawyer and make sure he pays child support and some day, his day will come. What goes around comes around. Chances are she will get tired of him someday and want someone her own age and he will be out in the cold. Try and keep yourself busy and contact a lawyer. Good Luck
2007-01-28 16:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I totally understand the age difference thing. However, Do you
really not want your kids around her for the age thing or for the fact
that your jealous and you feel betrayed? Regardless of the situation he is still your children's father and whether you like it or not he will
be involved in their lives.The only question is, Are you gonna make your kids pay for what you see as your husbands mistakes? I've been married and divorced twice and have been through a very similar situation I recommend that you go to counseling to get through this and to deal with your unfinished issues with him. You also need to realize you two are not together and he is moving on so you have absolutely no say in who he is with no matter the age difference. Good luck and stop being so worried about what he's doing and worry about you and your children and how your gonna get through this and move on.
2007-01-28 16:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by laura s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To begin with IF you are seperated then he is NOT your ex husband he is STILL your husband. If he were your EX-husband then he wouldn't be cheating on you. As far as the age of the girl...she is legally an adult so your "disghust" really doesn't enter into the picutre. I can't tell you what to do, that is something YOU have to decide for yourself. And having a relationship with someone for ten years doesn't equal love. Obviously you don't know that much about what HE feels otherwise you wouldn't be insisting that he couldn't love the young woman. Obviosuly you don't know your husband all that well.
2007-01-28 15:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And your question is?????????
Advise for what?
Should you divorce him? yes
Is it idiotic that he date someone so young? Sure but guys think with their little heads, not their big one, and many don't even have a big head.
And now for the question you didn't ask?
"How can I get my head back on straight?"
Realize that what you loved and what he really was are not the same.... we as women make some assumptions, often, that are from a woman's point of view, and they clearly are wrong.
Get some counseling and find out why you don't think you are worth anyone better. Believe it or not, there ARE nice men out there, he just isn't one at this time....
Does he love her? By his definition, probably, and by that, does he have lust for her, and of course, most definitely.
Remember that the male ego, and machismo-ism is alive and well in all guys.. even they know that.
2007-01-28 16:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do is divorce him. He has completely disrespected you. A man like that has no morals. I know what your going through. My husband of 15 years,( whom I just recently divorced), cheated on me with his 17 year old daughter that he hadn't seen in 14 years. Her mother just up and out of the blue sent her to him, and approximately one year later slept with her. He seen nothing wrong with it. The only problem I have is that the only proof I have is his admission to it, but now he denies it. You need to just let him go. I've gone on with my life and I'm very happy. I hope no one has to go through what I went through its sick and disgusting. Yours is just as bad. I really feel for you, but like I said, let him go. You'll be better off in the long run.
2007-01-28 16:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by kristine w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes that young stuff huh?
Young naive and impressionable. I don't think their relationship will last. What could they possibly have in common besides being physical?
All she can talk about is classes and pop culture? Once she gets her daddy's little girl fix she'll probably move on to other guys to have more fun.
That relationship will get old fast.
2007-01-28 15:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah get a life and let it go how can your EX-Husban cheat. your acting like a loser. no thats not nasty that hes messing with a 19 year old woman all he did was upgrade from a 1970 something to a 1980 something. she is prob hot as hell and your mad get over it and worry about u and your kids
2007-01-28 15:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are Jealous or why are you still trying to snoop on them, get a divorce, and they are his children too...right,, what makes your rights greater then his? Grow up,,,really sounds like you are the child here.
2007-01-28 15:51:26 · answer #11 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋