So I'm 17 and have had this amazing boyfriend for almost 9 months. Sometimes I think about having sex with him and other times I'm not sure. I'm self-concious about my body though but he and I have done a few things. He's turning 16 soon.
I think I might be in love with him but then again, I think that's silly. I am still a virgin (and so is he) and neither one of us is in a hurry.
We have talked about it and he says he will have sex if I want to. I think I do but I'm not sure yet.
Maybe I'm just nervous?
Also, should I talk to my mom about about me having sex? Should I go on birth control pills or what?
I'm 100% positive that he is a virgin and I am too, so there's no possibility for STDs or anything.
I truly care for him and I would like to have sex, but it always makes me feel a little scared.
Can anybody please help me?
Additional Details
3 hours ago
First of all, thanks to everyone for helping me out. I have yet to pick a best answer.
UPDATE: I talked to my boyfriend last night about this and he said he wanted to wait until we've been going out for a least a year (which will be in May).
I think that's a great idea because neither one of us is 100% ready to just do it yet.
I was wondering however, should I go on birth control pills? And if I do, should he wear a condom anyways? I don't truly want to make him wear one for his very first time though, so my plan was to go on the pill so we could connect in the most intimate way possible, with no barriers.
Does Planned Parenthood give free birth control pills? I'm not sure on that and I'd like to know please.
Also, I AM SO FREAKED OUT about talking to my mom about this whole sex thing. I don't want her to flip even though I don't think she will. Her and I are pretty close so I think I'm just gonna tell her.
Please reply and thank you all so so so much for helping me.
2 hours ago
Also, my boyfriend told me that he will wait as long as I want to, to do anything. Neither one of us is in a hurry and we both know that.
We do a few things here and there, but it's never rushed and if I say I don't want to then he says ok.
I never feel rushed or pressured or embarrassed and he never even asks me to do anything.
Also, what are the side effects or health risks of going on birth control pills? Just curious.
thanks so much <3
2007-01-28 07:28:56 · 28 answers · asked by samantha 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Samantha - Every 1 Ur age goes thru this - think about it. Until married mayb wait on the sex. Risks- pregnancy, STI's, mayb he'll stay 2 help or not. If there's baby it's yours! @ You need 2 think about future. - How 2 take care of self! Its a hard life 4 singl, young parent! May b he doesn't have STD OR May b he Does! By all means talk 2 some 1 U trust - folks, nurse, Doctor. U r too young 2 take on burden alone some-1 is pressuring U 4 sex!
2007-01-29 10:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kenneth R C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom about birth control if you don't think she'll freak out; I hated not being able to go to my mother because I knew that she would.
Yes, use a condom every time just as a backup. Birth control pills can fail, and using a condom will help to prevent pregnancy even further.
He seems like a good guy, not wanting to rush things, so hang on to him, and don't rush. Just wait until the two of you are both ready.
I don't agree with the mother who wrote here. You're proving, by asking about birth control, that you are probably responsible enough to have sex. However, talk extensively with your boyfriend about what you would do if you do end up pregnant. If he cares about you as much as he seems to, he'll be willing to talk about it.
When the time comes, make sure you're as relaxed as possible and try not to tense up. Extend foreplay until you're well-lubricated and start the main event slowly. Take your time and enjoy it. He definitely seems like a guy worth your time.
As far as the pill goes, I've been on it for four years with no problems. I'm perfectly happy and healthy. It can cause some weight gain and other side-effects, but these usually go away after a few months. Just ask your mom. I'm sure she'll understand.
2007-01-28 07:42:00 · answer #2 · answered by mkbrocato 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When thinking about having sex (whether for the first time or 100th) you have to be sure that it is something that you want to do. If you are uncertain, then it is probably best to wait. I am not trying to encourage or discourage you from having sex, I just think that anyone thinking about it should be 100% sure. When you feel like you're ready, just ask yourself " Am I going to regret this later on?" If there is still some doubt (from either one of you), then it is best to wait.
As far as talking to your mom goes, I think that you definitely should--and she might not really freak out on you since you are close, and were mature enough to go to her and talk about it. She can also help you answer any questions that you may have, and if she can't, she can go with you to ask someone who can. There is a ton of information on the web, in books, and at clinics that can help you make an informed decision. Planned Parenthood does give free birth-control, but I am unsure about their policy on giving it to minors. You can always visit their website or call them to find out information. You should also (if you haven't already), make an appointment with a gynecologist, they can answer any questions you may have about your body (changes/experiences it will go through).
If you both do decide to have sex, then some form of birth control should definitely be used. There are a lot of myths out there about pregnancy and STDs, but the truth is that: no form of birth control is 100% protective, and there is always a chance that you might get pregnant. So get as much information as you can before deciding what you are going to do--there is plenty of time.
Again, I'm not trying to dissuade you or anthing, sex isn't wrong or bad, it is normal and at the right time and place, something very beautiful and special.
Your boyfriend also has to make the same decision as you do. It is great that he is willing to wait until you are ready, but he has to be ready himself (100% sure). He has to want this too--not just because you do. He can also go to Planned Parenthood (maybe you two could even go together) and talk to them about sex and get any questions that he may have answered as well.
No matter what you BOTH decide to do, just make sure that it is something you BOTH want, and that your decision is based on what you KNOW and FEEL. Good Luck :)
2007-01-28 08:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetie. It takes a lot more time and energy to think about doing it. I can understand that your mind and body are curious. Relationships are complicated enough without adding sex. If you two are happy just being with each other, then maybe you should wait. Life is full of Firsts, and you can make your own decisions. About the Birth control, unless you have health reasons to be on birth control, I wouldn't suggest doing so. I wish you well in your life. Making a decision like this is hard. Good Luck :)
2007-02-05 06:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would wait till you are ready and when i had sex the first time i was self conscious about my body too so i just turned off the lights till i got more comfortable. Just make sure he is the one you want to give it up too. You can never re-take your virginity back. If you plan on having sex a lot i would get on the shot its only about $70 every 3 months and in the end i believe they are cheaper than condoms and after you guys get tested ( you don't have to have sex to get some of that stuff out there it can be passed on through the mom ) then you don't have to worry about condoms i think sex is better with out them. Oh!! and wait till he is 16 that way it is legal!!! HAVE FUN!!!
2007-02-03 07:51:20 · answer #5 · answered by Danyale M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, i'm sixteen so i have friends who have considered sex or who have had sex... just so you know where i'm coming from, I'm not a religious person, so i'm not going to say that you shouldn't have sex until you're married, or even that you should only have sex with one person you're entire life. but i am of the opinion that when you say you're ready to have sex, thats equivilent to saying that you're ready to become a parent.
even if you physically feel like you're ready, you need to consider the mental and emotional effects. nine months may seem like a long time to be with someone, but if u think about it, you're seventeen years old, you've probably got at *least* another 40 or 50 years in your life... is nine months really that long? if you were to break up, you might regret having had sex with him. If you stay together for the rest of you're lives, you still might regret it because your wedding night wouldn't be as special... there's a lot to think about
if you do decide to have sex, talk to your mom about birth control. You're really lucky to have such a good relationship with your mom that you feel like you can talk to her about this. Yes, she might freak out, but chances are, she'll be happy that you came to her for advice and she'll help you take the right precautions by taking you to a gynocologist to get birth control and such.
Even if you do get birth control, it's still not 100% effective, so its always a good idea to use a condom as well. If you and you're boyfriend both feel like you're ready, and you go on the pill and you use a condom, you could still get pregnant, so you and your boyfriend should probably talk about what you would do if that were to happen. would you get an abortion? would you give it up for adoption? would you keep it? if you keep it will he take responsibility and help support you? there are a lot of things to consider.
Just because you and you're boyfriend both think you're ready, doesn't mean you have to have sex. The most responsible choice is usually just to practice abstinence, but if you do have sex, just be responsible and careful.
I hope this was helpful!!
2007-01-28 09:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by RainDateChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, congrats on having a wonderful, loving bf who wants to respect you and wait until the time is right for both of you!
You really should go to a gynocologist (have you been yet?) for a general checkup and talk to her about getting on the pill. She can tell you all about the potential risks/benefits (from what I understand, the pill is pretty safe), and she'll tell you how to take it properly (consistency is very important).
Also, fyi, I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of STD's that can be transmitted through contact other than intercourse. Sounds like you and your bf aren't the types to be hooking up with tons of people, so probably not something to worry about too much, but you should be aware all the same.
2007-01-28 07:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by nunca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl dont do it yet! I lost my virginity at 17 and I regret ever doing it then. We were engaged to be married, I thought he was my world, my future, and I thought we were unseparable but we really werent (not to say you'll wont last) we were together 2 1/2 years but still I wish I had waited. He wasnt really patient like your boyfriend he kept on pressuring me it still wasnt the right time because I really didnt really say "ok lets do it" but thats another story. But I say WAIT AS LONG AS YOU CAN! Just think of it as a present that you've been dying to open you know once you open it you can seal it back up. Point being its open and the thrill is gone FOREVER! You'll never get that feeling back again. Its very precious and you arent missing much but babies and STD's (just to be blunt). But if you really think this is what you want to do then.... If you feel comfortable talking to your mother I say go ahead. She probably has the best advice of all. She may even tell you her story if she hasnt already. Then go from there. Whatever you do play it safe. Sorry to say but dont trust no body telling you they're a virgin you have no solid proof he is ok please dont be nieve.
2007-02-04 15:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by *Dee * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you sound like a very responsible teenager!! I really think that if both of you are willing to wait, than WAIT!! Sex changes a lot of things in a relationship and sometimes that is not a good thing!
I hope that you do talk to your mom about it, she was once your age and probably had all of the same thoughts and feelings as you do right now. I don't think she will freak out especially if she knows you haven't done IT yet!!
Good luck with your decision!
2007-02-04 17:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of your virginity as the most special gift that could ever be....save it for the man you are going to marry. It's a gift that can only be given once and shouldn't be wasted on some random guy. Save it for the quality guy you decide to marry when you are old enough to make an adult decision. Talk to other girls....they will all tell you that it's not a good emotional decision to have wasted this gift.
2007-02-05 03:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋