Why am i??being called the bad wife??

Question

I have been married now for almost 10 yrs and have 2 children.I have always had lots of male friends because i generally related to them better than women.I was teased a lot by girls and made fun of as a child i was also never big on gossip.I enjoyed sports and the like even though i was a beauty pagent queen.I actually met my husband through mutual my male friends!Recently it came to my attention that my son overheard some other mom's talking about me saying less than flattering remarks.I got the whole story from my cousin.Apparently because i let my hubby have friends over to watch sports games, have allowed 2 of his friends to stay over after being thrown out of their own homes by wives during fights, dont dress the way they think i should and because i am social going out with friends on occasion.What is their problem?

They think i am a bad wife who lets her husband enchourage other husbands to behave badly?

I am very upset and confused

Hubby has no problems with whom i am friends with and thinks i should just ignore there comments

Answer 1

Sounds like a bit of Jealousy to me, and SOME woman are just busy bodies they thrive on "gossip".

Answer 2

When socially going out with friends is your husband there? If not... No matter how innocent.One might think there is something wrong.. yes,You might be seen as a bad wife..
Now a hard question.How strong is your love for your husband.?.Can you resist crying on the shoulder of a handsome friend when you have just been in a fight..To many women can't , and don't..I think many are seeing you with to many male friends, to often.. they see the possiblity of future problems in your marriage..that is, if they were in your shoes ,they couldn't resist that other guy....In most minds it's better to stay away from temptation ;than be tempted. others feel what the other person doesn't know won't hurt them ...wrong.. stay safe, stay true..
If your marriage fails you will more than likley be seen as a bad wife; one that had to many male friends; And to all those other single girls or jealous wives. you'll be.seen as the unlucky one who let that great guy get away.. don't let this happen ,make your marriage last another ten ;spend more time with the one you love ;not with his or your friends ..togetherness rules..

Answer 3

here's the thing, what other people say about you behind your back is none of your business. Secondly...how do you feel about your behavior? How does your son feel about it and also your husband? Perhaps you need to step back from the defense mode and evaluate your motives. What your motivation is behind the action is really what counts. What is your intention with these other men? I'm not speaking sexually, but you may find it nice to have the attention and or validation from the men in your life that you didn't get from the women in your past. You are getting something from having these men around. What is it? Dig a little deeper and decide if its healthy for you and your family. As far as the women who are speaking about you and passing judgment. The also have their own motives and intentions which is something you cant control or change. You can only change yourself. what others do or say are of minor importance. Be who you truly want to be and set the example for your children. Don't pass on your own insecurities or worries to them...it something they will carry into adulthood. Take care of yourself and your family.

Answer 4

Sounds like the are not happy with their lives and is jealous of yours. You are being called the good wife by all of your husbands male friends, which is resorting to having the women call you the bad wife. It's jealousy. Don't let their petty gossip get you down. The most important thing is that you and your husband are happy. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks? There are way too many people laying in wait just to start some horrible gossip and to start trouble and hurt your feelings. Try not to let it bother you as THEY are the petty and immature ones.

Answer 5

You are the BEST and you did the right thing. BRAVO FOR YOU ! Don't worry about what other people thing of you. I would give you praise and the GOLD STAR if you were my wife. You did nothing wrong and are a strong person that sticks up for her rights. Nothing wrong with that. Stick to your guns and don't pay any attention to what the lower class is saying about you, it doesn't matter, let it roll off you like water. Continue to support your husband and his friends and feel assured that your doing the right thing. Females sometimes try and punish their husbands for no good reason. You are a whole world above them. GOOD GIRL!!!

Answer 6

They are just jealous that they are not as comfortable with their marriage as you are with yours. They do not want another woman lessening the punishment when they kick their husbands out. As a rule..when one woman hates a man all women should follow suit. If a woman doesn't do this it upsets the level of misery they are able to inflict on their spouses. Also, I'm sure they have been compared to you by their own husbands. "Joe's wife doesn't get mad about those sort of things" "Joe's wife would never kick him out" blah blah blah...it can cause you to hate a person.

Either jump on the bandwagon or get use to be the odd man out in the gaggle of geese. But know that you are not a bad wife...just easy going.

Answer 7

oh please look at it this way you are who you are and you don't need to change for no one but your self. i have a lot of female friends but i do have one close male friend (he's also my husband's friend) he takes me to dinner sometimes and we talk its nice to just talk. most of the time its about my husband. am i a bad wife, no. we all get a long and its not like i'm gonna cheat on him. if your marriage is a perfect as you want it to be then don't listen to other women. some women are stuck in the old age when thinking about marriage and how its supposed to be. its the 21st century and things are different. and if you are happy and your husband is happy and your not putting your childern in danger or setting a bad example then why not have male friends. like i said you are who you are and there is no reason to change that.

Answer 8

A lot of women expect women to take their side on things, by letting men stay over you are going against them. Don't let it bother you too much, they are just on the defensive because they are fighting with their husband and he runs off to a beautiful woman's house..a woman who can dress more flirty than them.

As long as your husband and your children knows you are a great, honest woman, you will be O.K.

It may help to talk to these women and explain your side...but not when you're angry.

Answer 9

You are being called the bad wife because a lot of people have issues that they do not want to deal with.
You and your husband know what makes your relationship work and if you guys are o.k. with the guys hanging out watching the games, then do not let some outsiders whose husbands obviously do not want to hang around them, get in your business.
I have always thought that beauty came from within and that is how I was raised. But when you are around people with low self esteem they will treat you like an outsider and talk about you until they really get to know you-some will still about you after that.
I just wrote a poem about this very thing. Keep your relationship intact with your husband and let those others say what they want to say.
You know you and your husband are partners, but one answer to them to really shut them up would be to tell them "It's that partner thing in marriage that my husband and I abide by-sorry it offends you guys, but it kind of works for us and keeps us happy. "
I hope this helps you-hang in there and do not go changing to try to please them!
Arene

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry what those "gossipy hens" say, your just fine as you are! Who cares what the heck they think....c'mon now, why would YOU care what is being said? Its not like they are your friends or matter to you. They have nothing better to do then slam you. I say, hold your head high and be you! That will show them! Good luck sweetie. Forget them!