My bf has been separated from his wife for over a year. He talks about getting a divorce but nothing yet. How long is too long for us to be together and him be married? We are very serious and he wants me to move in with him but I feel stange since he is still married. Any tips?
2007-01-28 05:59:32 · 17 answers · asked by Megan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well...there are many reasons why he has not divorced yet. Maybe he does not have the money, maybe its a kids issue, maybe he wants his cake and eat it also...maybe he just has not gotten around to it...maybe he has a lot to loose in the divorce and doesnt want to do it...and lastly...maybe he just never will...because as long as he is not divorced he cant get married again. A lot to think about. Do you know the reason why? Have you asked why? Would he even tell you why? I would find out all these things before I moved in with him...because that is a relationship without commitment and more serious than living apart and just seeing each other. I would wait for the right moment and say...I would like to move in with you...but, unless I know what the future will be like I have to wait. Now, if he tells you he is going to get a divorce...that is fine, but the question here is when? It really isnt that hard...infact you can even get the papers and do it yourself if there isnt a house and children involved. Listen to his answer and go with your gut feeling. But remember..it is harder to end a relationship when you are living with someone...after you have given up your space.
2007-01-28 06:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move in with him. If he does end up going back to his wife, then you will end up looking for a new place to live. You should keep your independence and not rely on him for support. What happens when you are there and his wife shows up at your door?
You honestly don't know what is going on with him and his wife. Maybe he isn't divorced yet because he is the one hanging on. It's a tough situation to be in because you want to believe everything he says to you.
Tell him, he needs to get a divorce before you will think about moving in. If he is serious about you, then he needs to show you how serious. There shouldn't be any excuses to not be with you.
2007-01-28 15:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in until he has the divorce. If he can't afford that, he can't afford you and that is a connection to his ex wife. you are very serious and he may seem to be but on the other hand he may hope having you move in will make her jealous and take him back and the only way to make sure is for him to get the divorce. Otherwise it is like starting out for a boat ride when the boat is still tied to the pier!!
2007-01-28 14:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So your the adulteress. If he isnt getting his divorce done then he may never and you are being used. Give him a 6 month ultimatum to show progress towards a divorce perferably be divorced before he gets to have fun with you again. Stick to your guns and good luck
2007-01-28 14:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you get "serious" with a man who's still married to another woman?????
I suggest you tell this man that he is no longer your boyfriend as long as he is married. If he's really going to divorce her, he will. If not, you'll know now instead of later.
2007-01-28 14:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should feel strange. Many men return to their wives after a separation period of even a few years.
You should never have gotten involved with a married man, albeit separated. Nothing is signed and sealed, and despite your wishes to marry ,many men later decide to stay single a date again, even having lived with someone else during the separation.
You must never move in with him, and try to realize he is needy and confused, despite what he says. Been there, done it, bought the tee shirt and burned it.
Date someone who is unattached with no strings to avoid disappointed,
2007-01-28 14:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your insticts. Tell him once again how you feel about the situation. He needs to make up his mind. Don't move in with him yet because he is still confused and he needs to get divorce before moving on.
2007-01-28 14:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by LIZA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he at least STARTED the divorce process yet? If he hasn't, just let him know that if he doesn't start it, then you're going to assume he's not ready to leave his wife, and you're going to move on. If that doesn't light a fire under his rear, then you know your answer.
2007-01-28 14:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jess H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but couples like you are selfish, always YOUR interests first.
Remember this when you make your decision to move in with him and marry him (if you get the chance), if he can't keep his vows with his current wife, what makes you think he will keep them with you.
2007-01-28 14:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by n9wff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you a home wrecker? Meaning did you get involved when he was with his wife? You need to move on with someone who will be faithful. He wasn't faithful with his own wife, what makes you think he will be faithful to you? Tips are: Don't move in with him. Move on.
2007-01-28 14:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋