how come some men come out gay at 18 and some marry have children and all of a sudden come out gay in there 30's?
2007-01-28 05:54:20 · 14 answers · asked by blondedoll00 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Societal pressure makes them deny their true selves. But at some point they simply cannot keep up the charade any more.
2007-01-28 05:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
They wouldn't just become homosexuals overnigth, their sexual orientation was already homosexual from their childhood. Most likely they grew in an enviroment that wouldn't let them "get out of the closet" untill after marriage, when they realice what their sexual orientation trully is. This is so very unfortunate for the family for it creates many conflicts with children and their wives plus the identity crisis on themselves and risks the brake up of this institution.
Therefore they should have had realized their orientation from the adolecence and exercise their sexuallity in a responsible way in complete concience and comuncation of this wether it be with man or woman before risking such a fracture
2007-01-28 14:11:13 · answer #2 · answered by Gerardo G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they've been forced into filling a mold at a young age and never get a chance to learn that there are other options, and only as they get older do they realize that they don't suit that mold in the least way. It happens to women too. I can think of at least three women who were married for several years before they realized that they wanted nothing sexual to do with their spouses, and that it wasn't just that one man they were married to, but to all men in general. They went thru periods of infidelity with other men, and discovered that it wasn't their spouse that was lacking, it was their own interest in the opposite sex that they lacked.
2007-01-28 14:00:12 · answer #3 · answered by Angela M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because the men who come out at 18 have support from their families while the men in their 30's wouldn't have any. I know a guy who's 56 & is still not out because no one in his Italian Catholic family would ever speak to him again. Aren't his family members commiting a sin by judging people??
2007-01-28 14:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if a 30 year old came out when he was 18 he prolly would have been beaten to a bloody pulp!
LOOK AT THE TIME PERIOD!
Things are much more relaxed now then they were. People can for once be who they always been but hide from people who are ignorant!
2007-01-28 13:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by digitaldancer22 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ones who come out later in life have not yet come to terms with their true sexual orientation.
Even tho gay are way more accepted in society now then they were even 10 years ago lots of men still feel the preasures of society for them to be str8.
I am a gay man and I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters, my youngest brother is also gay - out of 7 kids, 2 are gay. My brother came out when he was just 13 years old, he was out way before me. I just couldn't come to terms with it in my own life. I didn't want to be gay, as far as I was concerned I wanted to be just like everybody else, all my friends were interested in girls, all I could think about sexually was other guys. I had all kinds of dreams about situations that brought me and other guys together in a sexual way. I knew I was gay (I didn't know that is what it was called) I knew I had feelings for other guys - I just didn't want those feelings. I just kept saying NO! Hoping it would go away but it never did, of course it didn't, how could it, I was born gay, I am still gay and I always will be gay - that's how God made me!
But before I came to terms with it, I pretended to be str8, I lived a str8 life style, I avoided contact with my youngest brother in the fear that somebody might think I was gay if they saw me socializing with him or even just talking to him! It's sad, we missed so many years together because of that. Well they do say that the most homophobic guys are gays who have not come 'out' of the closet yet! That was me, I wan't being mean or hurtful or hateful with anybody but by avoiding my own brother because I was afraid of be found out about my ture sexual orientation I was being homophobic!
If I could do it over agian, I would for sure change things!
*hugs*
JAC<
2007-01-28 19:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by jackaboo007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of it has to do with family values and upbringing and religious ideas.
Some gay men just fool themselves and repress their gay feelings as a result of all these social pressures acting on them....after a while of their unfulfilled needs, they can no longer hide from the truth.
It's unfortunate for others involved with them. I would suspect there would be less of this if society was more tolerant of gays.
2007-01-28 13:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because there are strong pressures from society to be straight, get married and have children. After a time they realize they are pretending to be someone they aren't.
It's not just men but women too.
2007-01-28 14:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because somewhere along the way they bought into the idea that the vestiges of the white picket fence could "cure" them of something about themselves they have not come to grips with. How selfish.
2007-01-28 14:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause they feel that getting married is the 'right thing' to do, but realize they can't keep living a lie.
maybe they also want kids and the stability of a 'home life'
2007-01-28 13:58:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋