how can you get your spouse to understand a budget for the house?

Question

My spouse seems to think that money is going to turn up from somewhere out of the blue when we spend to much of our budget each month. needless to say this has happen a few times but its not a given. why can't i get him to understand that we are just getting deeper and deeper into debt monthly. we are on a fixed income so there is no extra comong in? any help any one???

Answer 1

You may not solve this. "Overspending" is like an addiction for some people.

I dealt with it for 30+ years, and it never ended. I finally realized that divorce was the only solution for my piece of mind.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Some people are just spenders and want what others have. It's a hard concept to deal with. Maybe you can try making a list of what everything costs. Like a budget page. Write down every single little thing that you spend. Bills, groceries, gas, a cup of coffee, cigs, everything. Save all receipts. EVERYTHING. Do this for a 2 or 3 months. Sometimes if you see it in writing you can see where the money goes a little better. But you can also see that the money won't stretch too. If you're spouse is an I DONT CARE type of person that wants what he wants before all else, then you are kind of in a tight spot.
Maybe you should try to come up with ideas for a few extra bucks. How bout scrapping metal. That pays a bit. Go out on garbage night with some tools and strip appliances and things. Pick up things from garbage that can be resold and have a yard sale. Try making crafts or something. They are pretty inexpensive and then you can sell them for a nice profit. Good luck. Its not easy. I am a saver and my other half is the spender. It's definetly not easy. Especially when ya need certain things and then money gets spent on things that absolutely weren't needed. Drives me wild.

Answer 3

Put pen to paper and show the money coming in and the money going out, and where it's going. Elicit "help" from you spouse in deciding where to cut back until more money comes in. If you spouse says, "yeah, but I'm expecting (insert windfall dollar amount here)" reply by stating something like, "well, when that comes in, we'll decide what to do with it. for now, this is what we have, so what do you see us cutting back on in order to make ends meet?".

You may also wish to talk with a credit counselor or a financial planner or complete an online financial planning form.

Lastly, don't let your spouse take you down. Keep your money separate if you cannot trust your spouse and keep track of what you pay for and get in writing what your spouse is responsible for.

All the best to you.

Answer 4

Since legally you are responsible for your spouse's debts,
I would seriously consider closing your joint accounts,
cancelling all credit cards, consolidate your former credit
card balances into one lower monthly payment and re-opening
separate accounts with debit cards only. Split the responsibilities
of household expenses equally by designating who pays what,
i.e. if he pays the mortage, you pay the utilities, food and/or
child care related expenses (or any combination of these).
Perhaps visuals will help and you could get a large poster
board and at the top put each of your names with columns
beneath listing your basic household expenses and who
would be responsible for their half...also in these columns
could be the balances left over to play with. Seeing this
in black and white really has helped me in the past.

Answer 5

That is exactly the reason I have been happily divorced for some time now .